Philosophy_N_Sex 49M/47F
1147 posts
8/25/2005 8:30 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm


Song of the day: Superfreak ‒ Rick James

Ring Ring

Woman: in an urgent whisper, Hello, security!

Mick: This is Mick from Stinks Home inSecurity, is everything ok?

Woman: No, there is a man in my room.

Mick: OH a man is in your room at 2am

Woman: Yes

Mick: OH, uummmmm, what are you wearing?

Woman: What? No wait now there are two men, yes two men!

Mick: Well you naughty naughty girl!

Woman: Oh no they’ve seen me

Mick: Well I would love to watch too, mmmmmmmmmmmmm, yes..

Woman: Send the police, one is a tall white man, and a shorter husky black man..

Mick: Well I heard them say that once you go black, you don’t go back.

Woman: aaahhh, mmuufff, aarrrrgghh.

Mick: Having a good time there babe?

Woman: Help help

Mick: it is ok, the big ones only hurt for a minute.

Woman: get away!

Mick: Well ma’am I will stay on the line until they are done.

Remember, for your safety and for the safety of your family, we recommend

Stinks Home Security

These were paid professionals do not try this at home. Hotels are much better. Don’t just practice, but perfect safe sex. In the event two men do enter your room, hope that you happen to be horny, and ready for two men, just like in porno films. In porno films everyone is horny all the time. Even virgins have screaming climaxes even though they have nothing to compare it too. The men never get nervous and experience erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, bad breath, flatulence, runny nose or headaches. The women are overly sexual, obsessed with sex, love to swallow and will take it in the back door without any preparation. The pizza guy and college professors get more action that rock stars. I once had a job delivering pizza, and never got hit on. Delivered to crank calls, and got bit by a miniature pincher, but no women. I once had a hot college professor, but I got an A in her class the old fashioned way, dammit anyways. However if you are female and want to talk about taking two guys please call xxx-xxx-xxxx and arrange your free in home evaluation today! Discounts for referrals.

rm_luke69iner 48M
3275 posts
8/25/2005 12:33 pm

A wee bit twisted but funny none the less.

S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo

FunandFrisky79 41M/37F

8/25/2005 9:36 pm

P&S- You promised you wouldn't tell anyone about our first date! And, to think I trusted you!!! Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, well... it's because I'm blonde.

***Personal note to P&S: I know I played hard to get that night, but those were screams of passion! Next time, do you think you could be a little less rough, though? I still have rug burns!


bigredeatsbush 51M/50F

8/25/2005 11:59 pm

You must be going through a phase here. OK, well it's all good from here, thatnks for the laugh!

rm_vixenflir 58M
295 posts
8/26/2005 5:34 am

Good early morning laugh you two! Thanks, makes the day brighter.

Philosophy_N_Sex 49M/47F

8/26/2005 6:50 am

Luke- twisted can be good, sometimes

Philosophy_N_Sex 49M/47F

8/26/2005 6:52 am

F&F- hahahah you are too funny. Like I would ever tell, or anybody would believe.

Oh stop whining about rug burns before you really get something to cry about ahha

you are too fun

patsam69 51M/51F

8/26/2005 10:19 am

When first reading I was like....what the hell??? But your disclaimer set me straight!! very funny.

Philosophy_N_Sex 49M/47F

8/26/2005 10:26 am

Hey Red
thanks for stopping by
this phase is better than mid life crisis

Vixen- you are welcome, thank you fro stopping by

tommy20101000 36M
1 post
9/6/2005 1:50 pm

i want awomen makeing love with me

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