And the award goes to....................  

Philosophy_N_Sex 49M/47F
1147 posts
8/19/2005 9:50 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

And the award goes to....................

Song of the Day: I’m too Sexy ‒Right Said Fred


“And for my best drama in a social group award I would like to thank my mom for having me, my dad for what ever he did, my psychologist for trying to help me, but I am looney and smart enough to dodge their help, giggles. I would also like to thank all those I have sucked into my little drama acts for feeding into my wishes and desires..Thank you!”

We all love a good drama. Watching Tom Hanks, Robert De Niro, Sir Anthony Hopkins or other talented masters work their magic on screen. A well-written plot that different personalities must somehow work together to solve a greater crisis. Grab some popcorn, an ice cold drink and enjoy!

The drama we are talking about is not a good thing. It seems at every place of employment, social club, religious organization, or even charity there is one. A Drama Whore! At first you think you are around a passionate person really into the cause, and then bam! Chaos ensues! With these types it is not possible to just have a “club” because they see no other purpose for anything to exist other than to serve their needs. Their only goal in life is to cause trouble, chaos, and hurt feeling everywhere they go. They just move on, and others must pick up the pieces.

We all need our share of attention and affirmation, but these folks take it too the extreme. They do not see the world rationally, like a bully, they feel “entitled.”

Traits of the “Drama Whore”

Center of attention:
Constant, and I do mean CONSTANT state of crisis. We all have daily challenges and inconveniences. These types make getting a flat tire sound like they are dying of leukemia. Drama Whores are very good at bringing out the “Mother Theresa” or “Gallant White Knight” trait in those who have helping personalities. Until one can see they have a drama whore, often they play into the game, figuring they are helping one in need. When attending an event to honor another such as a graduation or a wedding. The drama whore repeatedly reminds everyone of THEIR contribution to the other person’s success, even if the contribution is minor or even exists, and basically makes it seem the event is actually for them. If they do not get the attention at the other person’s event, they will “rally allies” and boycott, cause a scene, or sabotage it anyway possible. They may not attack the event or the person, but the food might have MSG, or the ice melted. Anyway to ruin the event will be their goal, and it may seem innocent.

Chameleon Personality:
Your self-proclaimed “good friend” and “soul mate” will suddenly turn viscously on you. You will suddenly be blind sided by attitude, accusations, or other irrational acts. Usually the evidence against you is “he said, she said” stuff. Once their cause can use your help again they are suddenly “oh so sorry for the little misunderstanding.” If you are not in a power position but continually jump through their little hoops they might let you in their circle, when their mood allows. Their burning life long passion suddenly does a 180 turn, and all rational people are thinking "WTF?"

Martyr Complex:
They look at themselves in a strange light. Many place themselves in a “Christ Like” role in the world. Nobody is as strong as them, or nobody as suffered as much. They think themselves unusually talented, with “special gifts.” When talking to them it wont be as if they are confiding bad times in their life and reaching out to you. They will center themselves as some hero/heroine of a “Gone with the Wind” type novel. Example, talk to a war veteran about being in combat, and talk to a drama whore about their significant others looking at another “lustfully,” and you would think by how it is retold the suffering, the waste, and the long term scars were the same.

Constant Scapegoating:
Some other person, or organization has wronged them, and they continually use a “rally of allies” to attack the Scapegoat. The scapegoat may not have done anything wrong or be aware they are under attack. Leaders of clubs, lead workers of projects, religious leaders, and one with a talent envied by the drama whore are targeted. They drama whore plants doubt, discontent, or small sample of incompetence to the others of the group. Ideally the drama whore will have another do the dirty work, and then if the attack backfires, the drama whore can reverse loyalties and attack his/her own minion. That is very effective for drawing attention and creating drama!

How to stop the drama whore:

Don’t play! Do not go charging to their rescue, do not let them go on and on about how they suffer. If it is a co-worker, be polite, but always to the point of the tasks at hand. If they try to draw you in excuse yourself, or say I don’t know about that. Document for your own protection! If you are the target, often the drama whore has zero in the way of evidence. The storm will ride out because you have rational character, drama whore dos not. When you remove the drama whore from a job or club, they will often come crying back at a later date after they were “treated so unfairly” by the next organization they targeted. Say we “no longer have any relationship or need of your services.” Say this over and over then say "sorry I must go, then hang up or leave." You would not invite cancer into your body, why invite this back into your and your friends lives.

To repeat a old story:
A scorpion asked a frog to carry him on his back across the river. The frog says ”no you are a scorpion you will sting me and I will die.” The scorpion says “no I wont, if I stung you and you die, I will drown, and we will both die.” The frog says ok and the scorpion climbs in his back, and frog starts to swim across. About halfway across the river the scorpion stings the frog. As the poison is taking life from the frog, frog asks the scorpion, “why did you do that, now we both will die?” The scorpion says “I am a scorpion, I know no other way.”

Have a great day, and hopefully the next drama you encounter is on DVD!

FunandFrisky79 41M/37F

8/19/2005 3:24 pm

P&S- I know what you mean. I've known alot of drama whores, and I don't allow myself to get tangled in their web! Every day is a soap opera with them, and personally I am not a fan!

My ex husband was a HUGE drama whore. He was the "woe is me" type. He made everything seem soooo much worse than it really was. I actually feel sorry for him. He's miserable & I'm happy now. Maybe one day he'll realize nobody likes a drama whore!!

Btw, great post! I always learn so much in your blog!


ExploreMore4Me 59F

8/19/2005 4:31 pm

Dear P&S ... Well, well, well...What a post! BRILLIANT! Couldn't have said this better myself! (Are you sure you don't want to fill in for me in one of my lectures or seminars?) Good Job!

Hugs & Kisses My Friend!


rm_luke69iner 48M
3275 posts
8/19/2005 6:40 pm

P&S excellent post

However, about the "Christ Like" role, I do like to worship myself. I figure no one else would so I might as well. We are supposedly made in the image of God so I just cut out the middle man and worship myself.

Should I seek help or ask myself for forgiveness?

I'm still working on the omniscience stuff.

S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo

bigredeatsbush 51M/50F

8/19/2005 6:53 pm

Well said, I believe you must have my ex-wife as a case study!
I admit I like to be at the center of attention, but not at the cost of friendships, I think your post emphasises the "at any cost" issue quite well.

Philosophy_N_Sex 49M/47F

8/19/2005 9:27 pm

F&F- hello again thank you for stopping by and saying hello. I am glad you have a good man in your life now. You are happy and his life is drama horrible.

EM4M- We do very simular work, I am more towards the physical side incorportaing spirit, and you work more from the other way. We would be great together! would could really show the complete circle of health to clients!

Jezebelle- hey drama queen implies female only, and the drama whore comes in both genders. True they are not happy with out drama, they will never be able to live and let live.

Luke- that is ok you can worship yourself, maybe find a slave girl, and well you know the rest

Red- Yeah I can see you in the spot light. But you will not die if you are not spot lighted though. Glad you are happy and not trapped by the drama of the ex.. hopefully your shared custody drama stays to a minimum because the welfare of the kids is your goal. oh the drama of the exes.

bigredeatsbush 51M/50F

8/21/2005 9:13 pm

It still amazes me how perceptive you are - I only recently aquired enough "tools" myself to properly deal with that stuff. Of course I'm still learning as we all are.

As for the EX - Well, she could easily be compared to that woman in "The Sixth Sense" who poisons her daughter just to get sympathy, it's really hard undoing the damage she does. Oh well, enough drama for one day I suppose...

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