Ads you will never see here on AFF  

Philosophy_N_Sex 49M/47F
1147 posts
5/27/2005 12:42 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Ads you will never see here on AFF


Here are some ads you will never see on AdultFriendFinder. Hope you find amusing.

Man seeking woman.
Hello I am insecure and do not know what I want other than sex, and to have a woman fix what is wrong with me. When things do not go my way I want to be able to blame the woman so I do not have to be responsible for myself. I want to destroy any chance you have of improving your life by making you focus on any crisis I have. I also want to use up any money you might have saved for your future, because I need it for me.

Woman seeking man
Hello I am insecure and do not know what I want other than to tease, and to have anyone fix what is wrong with me. When things do not go my way I want to be able to blame the man so I do not have to be responsible for myself. I want to destroy any chance you have of bettering your life by making you focus on any crisis I have. I also want to use up any money you might have saved for your future, because I need it for me.

Woman seeking man
Hi Sexy I am a fit, voluptuous, sexy women looking to make you squire with desire. I do not care if you are married or single, I just love it want it bad. I am a hooker so as long as you have the money I have the time.

Woman seeking man
Hi Sexy I am a fit, voluptuous, sexy women looking to make you squire with desire. I do not care if you are married or single, I just love it want it bad. I am actually a guy who gets my jollies by posing as a woman. I do not get enough attention so I do this to try and feel like a powerful man again. I cried when my teddy bear got lost under the bed because I was too scared to go under the bed and get him.

Couple seeking women or couples
Good afternoon
I am actually a single guy playing the game of “my wife is sick,” ” my wife is out of town,” or “ my wife said scout and try before I go” name your gambit. I hope to sneak into the bed of a couple and get some sex with out offering anything in return. Maybe a single bi woman will fall for this, and think I am meeting her to say hi, then we can go to swingers parties as a couple, and I still get what I want but offer nothing.

Men seeking women or couples
Hi
I am just a pic trader, I will say anything to get pics. I have no intention of meeting you, I just want pics. I like to flake out when I say I will meet you.

Men seeking men
You are so hard up I will do anything for some sex, even switch teams.

Women seeking women
I am a guy posing as a woman. I know you are a woman seeking women but I think that chatting with me you will be so taken with me you will love me even though I am a liar. PS don’t tell my wife please.

Men seeking woman
I am a cheating dog. My wife supports me, and I do nothing all day. I sent the kids to daycare because that is work. I don’t clean or maintain the house because that is just not my scene. I can’t and won’t cook. My cable TV is what I am about. I need some on the side because my wife works too much, and does not have time or energy for my sexual needs.

Women seeking men
I ran my boyfriend into the ground, and he had to take a second job to pay off the bills I ran up shopping for me. I need a macho guy to do me in the after noon and laugh at my boyfriend who is working to support me thinking we have a future together. Guys fresh out of prison are a plus.I want to give my boyfriend AIDS and have another mans baby for him to raise.

Men seeking women or couples
Hi I am a registered sex offender, I want to be a part of your life. I want to meet your kids. I have deep-rooted psychological problems and cannot relate to other adults, but that is besides the point. For a good time contact me but not the FBI.

Men seeking women or couples
Hello
I am one of those that does not understand anything. I am at a sex site I should be able to have all the women here as I want them when I want them. I got this sexy dick picture off the Internet that is three times what I carry, she wants it this dick, I know it. Are not the women here sluts who fuck every guy they see all day every day? They have not had me yet because once they have me, they will not want anyone else! Husbands beware! Please don’t bother with saying NO SINGLE MEN in your ad because it does not apply to me. Also it is a waste of time saying no thank you politely because I know you want me, and I will keep sending mail telling you want you want. Or I will call you vile names because nobody tells me no. Now do what I want and contact me now bitch!

Men/women/couples seeking anything
Greetings
I am just seriously fucked up. I like tick tacks placed up my dick. I like peanuts in my butt, and for you to eat them. I like animals no I really love animals. I am the star of Montana Sheepherders Gone Wild. I like to have sex with everyone and everything, I should be committed but what if I am normal and everyone else is weird?

rm_Elysia2005 43F
412 posts
5/27/2005 2:45 pm

You know, Phil (can I call you Phil?), while I have never seen these profiles, I and many of my friends here HAVE met these people...


Philosophy_N_Sex 49M/47F

5/29/2005 7:35 pm

We have met all of these people as well sigh


blueyes1948x 68M
20 posts
5/30/2005 4:05 pm

You guys are inspiring me to new heights. I'll have to use some of this in my next profile. Not that it'll be seen, but the writing is always fun.


no_strings_grrl 44F

5/31/2005 3:23 am

Freakin' hilarious - I love it. Just goes to show you that on AdultFriendFinder, like in every day life, its important to focus on the journey rather than the destination. Its all one big adventure and sorting through the boneheads, ego-maniacs, and cowards is no easier here than anywhere else.

For those of you who are about to give up on this site---->Stick with it. Use some initiative. Eventually, you'll find some interesting and REAL people here.


Philosophy_N_Sex 49M/47F

5/31/2005 1:16 pm

Good way to put is No Strings Girl.
We have learned the hard way to focus on the journey not the destination.
Thank you for the excllent post


Philosophy_N_Sex 49M/47F

5/31/2005 1:17 pm

Blueeyes
you are far more intelligent than to post anything like that. You are a real person, and you put others before yourself. Is funny to thing abotu who would respond to such an ad.


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