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Phiero2 48M
15 posts
9/27/2005 8:39 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

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I have not been very successful meeting people on this site and I am not complaining or winning. I am wondering what is it that getting communication going between members?

If I were to focus on one thing should it be my profile or my messages?

What has been successful for you?


9/28/2005 8:57 am


I don't know if you have checked ou my posting Is it worth it or not. But, like many men on this site I wondered about the same thing. Part of the problem that most men on this site is the fact that we outnumber the available women and couples like 2-1/2 to 1. Since writing that post there are a couple of things that I have done to improve my 'luck'.

1. I reworked my profile. In some ways it is much more abrupt than my previous attempts. But it is "me for real". Everything spelled out with very little margin for error.

2. I became an active blogger. Obviously, people actually read these things and are interested in what others think and or have to say. One of the positive, passive side effects of this is that people view your profile. They want to know who the person behind the story is. For a standard member like myself this is critical to any success on this site. As a standard member I normally cannot view others or initiate contact. But if you get a high volume of traffic, AdultFriendFinder rewards you with 50 free views to use over a 3 day period.

3. I revisited the groups that i had joined. Most of them display the same postings that I saw early in the summer. But for those that had new postings, I read and in some cases responded. (See #2 above for the passive effects.)

4. I read the blogs of everyone who appeared on the list fo visitors to my blog. Most people who visit your blog willl have something in common with you. This gives you a chance to see what that may be. Once I had read and replied to other's blogs it not only gave me additional ideas but because I then appear on thier blog (See #2 above for the passive effects.)

5. I clicked on that link from the home page "Who's Viewing Me?" Something made these people stop and check me out right? Those who were close got the first look. After all I now had the priviledge to look at 50 profiles and respond to 10 a day. Those profiles that were appealing got an email from me thanking them for taking the time to check me out asking them questions (or commenting) about what I had read on thier profiles and elaborating a bit on my profile.

6. Do a search. I use the basic search as the first method of prescreening the thousands of profiles listed in my area. Check out my post INTERNET PROFESSIONALS. There are some profiles that are easily eliminated with just the first glance. The ones that I liked at first glance all got hotlisted. I even hotlisted profiles of members who had not bee active within the last two weeks. Any profile on yuor hotlist you can add person notes to. So I made notes to myself like; "hasn't been active in the last 2 weeks", "viewed my profile on mm/dd", or "sent email on mm/dd"

7. Lastly, I used the rest of my free views to actually look at those people who I had put on my hotlist. Of the profiles that I viewed, I responded to some and made additional notes to remind myself of why I did or did not respond.

I hope that you can take something from my experiances. Good Luck! and keep us all posted. Remember we're looking at you.

Phiero2 48M

9/29/2005 2:10 am


Thanks for the great post. I appreciate your comments and will give them a try. I particularly clued in on your comments about the hot list and the “who is viewing me” links. I have not used the hot list feature but plan to in the near future. I have used the “viewing me” link but have never gone beyond wondering what happened to them.

Great ideas and thanks again for the comments!

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