Should I have been mad?  

Peche85 31F
828 posts
6/3/2006 6:27 am

Last Read:
6/4/2006 3:10 am

Should I have been mad?

This happened a while ago, but I was talking to D the other day in class and somehow it came up and she said that what happened was really mean and it was okay that I was angry.

So hears the story:

I was going to see my ex at his parent's house and the last bus to the town they live in was at 5.20. I was running late so decided to get the bus into town where the bus station is instead of walking. A (who has a car) was home, but I don't like asking people for rides and she didn't offer.

So I was waiting at the bus stop outside our house when I realised it was rush hour traffic so the bus would probably be late. So I started stressing.

Then I saw A and T pulling out of the driveway and figured they were going to town (which they were) and so they would stop and give me a ride, as any normal friend would, right?

But no, they just waved and kept driving.

And it made me sooo mad. It wasn't the fact that I had to go on the bus or anything, I'm fine with buses. I just can't understand why they wouldn't offer me a ride when they knew I was running late and stressing out if they knew they were going to town. And even if it was a last minute decision, how hard is it to take 1min to pull over and let me in the car?

I texted T afterwards and said "Well thanks for picking me up" or something like that and her reply was "oh I didn't realise you were waiting". Yeah, cos I always just hang out by myself at bus stops. And she knew exactly where I was going and why I was waiting there.

In the end I made it on time, but only just.

Whenever I have a car with me (i.e. when I used to have my lil Brad car), if one of my friends needed to go somewhere I would offer them a ride. Especially if they were running late AND definately if I was going to the same bloody place! Even if I wasn't going to the same place I would go out of my way for my friends.

By the time I saw them the next day I had calmed down a bit, but there have been other times they've done it to me aswell.

So would you be angry it your friends/flatmates did that to you? Can you think of a reason why they wouldn't even think to stop and pick me up? If I knew why they did it I could forget about it.

bulging_boy 49M

6/3/2006 6:41 am

I'd have trapped the neighbours cat and put it in their room.

By the time they'd got home, it'd have pissed on everything there.

The only time I've ever not given a mate a lift is when they haven't been a mate, but a fucking pain in the arse.

Who knows, they mighta wanted to bitch about you... or they could just be really ignorant.

If it happens again? Use the cat!

im_your_man77 39M
961 posts
6/3/2006 6:59 am

Some people are just so wrapped up in their own life they don't realise how inconsiderate their actions are. All you can do is shrug it off and be happy in the knowledge that you are a less selfish person than they are.


6/3/2006 7:07 am

I wouldn't have been too happy about it either. However, I have learned that what I may assume is considerate behavior, isn't necessarily what others would assume. In the bigger scheme of things, if your friends have done this before and continue to do it, why do you have them as friends?

Peche85 31F

6/3/2006 7:07 am

Lol, thanks. I think they are really ignorant. Maybe we are just nice people lol that care about others and do nice things for them and they aren't. I guess since A has a car and T's bf takes her anywhere she wants they forget how annoying it is not having a car.

sexyariesgirl 57F

6/3/2006 7:12 am

I would certainly have been upset! It was rude and thoughtless at the very least. Sounds like they knew exactly what they were doing. You might want to re-think them being friends/flatmates!

Power To FOK

chasingfun27 38M
1108 posts
6/3/2006 3:39 pm

    Quoting Peche85:
    Lol, thanks. I think they are really ignorant. Maybe we are just nice people lol that care about others and do nice things for them and they aren't. I guess since A has a car and T's bf takes her anywhere she wants they forget how annoying it is not having a car.
More than likely, you've nailed the reason. In my experience most people aren't deliberately being assholes - it's just a state that come naturally.

vrec_dawn 40M

6/4/2006 2:08 am

Yikes. Hmm. Well, if they hadn't known everything before hand and just passed you by at the bus stop I'd say it's nothing worth being mad at. I mean it'd have been nice if they stopped, but there's no real requirement there.

Where as knowing it all and not stopping, that's worth being a little pissed over I think. Still nothing worth damaging a friendship over or anything, but worthy of a little steam.

But I think most people have the out of sight, out of mind mentality. They'll only wonder if they should stop for you so long as they can see you. And depending on how busy their own life is, how busy the road they're on is, how distracted they are, etc. they just might not have enough time to make that decision before they lose sight. It's sad, but that's life.

I've spent some time without a car in my life, so I've gone through experiences like yours. It's no fun. Once I even had to walk for hours because a friend 'forgot' to pick me up when he was distracted by a girl. It sucks, but it happens. Such are just the joys of being without a car. You just have to chalk a certain number of experiences like that up to the carless lifestyle. It's no fun of course, but that's life.

Not everyone can be as nice as we'd like. I mean goodness, if everyone was so considerate then we might not have things like war or poverty. And then where would the world be? Or perhaps less sarcasticly, would nice still be a quality worth celebrating if everyone was?

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