Thoughts sparked about dating, etc.  

Passionatelove70 46F
262 posts
11/6/2005 1:28 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Thoughts sparked about dating, etc.

Just posted a comment to a female's posting in the New Ulm Mankato Kink Group. She was mentioning how hard it is to find men around her age to date. I posted a reply:

"Takeachance - I hear you girl! I'm also looking for a dating relationship with a guy who loves sex and willing to try new things. But seems like everyone just wants a one night stand, are 10 years too young or 10 years too old, or they're a couple or whatever. I have met a few nice guys on here in the past but none recently.
I just don't understand why guys are so afraid of commitment. Don't they understand that the best sex is when you're with someone you love? DUH!>>!"

Sorry guys but sometimes I do a little male bashing. Now boys & girls, you can't tell me you've never bashed the opposite sex, even a little! I normally don't. I generally get along better with men than women. I think it's because for some reason I think more like a man. No, I'm not a tomboy by any means. I mean, for example, when someone mentions a problem to me, I try to come up with a solution. That's how men think. A typical women would listen and be empathetic (which I do as well I guess).

Anyway, work has been a complete nightmare lately. So busy I forget my own name sometimes! No kidding! Wish I could find a rich, sexy, sweet man to fall madly in love with me so I didn't have to work! LOL...yeah, like that would ever happen. I do find my career rewarding but working PT would be much better if I could afford it.

I was thinking this morning that it has been over two months since I was dating a guy. Wow! That's like a new record for me. Seems like I've always been seeing someone. I'm still content with being single but miss things like cuddling, regular sex, and someone to spoil me (giggle). I've had guys ask me out (online) but just felt like they weren't my type. I go to bed alone each night and remember when I used to have someone by my side.....a lover, a companion, a friend. I do miss that a lot. But missing and needing are two different things. I am surviving without the things I thought I had to have. I'm not really happy about being alone but not really depressed about it either.

I wish guys would stop playing games and just be open and honest. Seems like they want to meet and will do anything to get me into bed (and often it's hard to stop myself - especially since I haven't had sex for so long). Then they make up some lame excuse about not being ready for a relationship or this or that happens. UGH! I'm tired of excuses guys. Where is that special someone for me - who cares for me - who wants to be with me despite a busy life/schedule. I just don't understand. I've been told I'm good looking, I'm pretty intelligent, good in bed (been told my b.j.'s are the best), am nice, successful, and a good parent. So, what am I doing to scare these guys off? Any guesses? Again, I go back to the fact that why does it seem like no one is ready for a serious relationship (in my age range)? I understand wanting to play the field and have some fun before settling down, but I've done that and it gets old pretty fast (at least for me it did). I've been on other websites too and noticed many guys just want a casual relationship or won't date a woman who has a child. Maybe it's the guys that are being too picky and not me!


rm_mtnravyn 60M
890 posts
11/6/2005 3:09 pm

Milady I have no answer for you. I just added a psot o magnet4u22 on the question of age. So I will write a little around the subject in response to your post and my perspcetive. If by commitiment you are seeking a strictly monogamous, long term, marriage type relationship, then I believe the strongest emerge from sensual friendships (sometimes friendship is firs sometimes sensual play). I am not willing to jump to that point right away. Nor am I seeking one night stands. I believe the best sex evolves from a growing emotional/spiritual connection. In my experience (back to my post for magnet) age is not the factor. If I had limited my choice based on an age bias. I would have missed an incredible mentor and learning experience. She was a woman that I stayed friends with until she died two years ago. So there may be some gifts out there for you that you are denying yourself from seeing.

As for women with children, I don't understand why that is an obstacel. I can only see that as an excuse. Sure it may limit spontaneity but that delay can be used for some planning and teasing to enhance thte next opportunity.


MrStyle4u 54M

11/6/2005 8:59 pm

If I wasn't already married, you'd be the type of woman I'd be looking for. Smart, attractive, passionate. I was disappointed I couldn't view your profile. I really enjoy what you write. You seem like a very cool person.


WhoseFauveUkase 49M  
29 posts
11/8/2005 5:45 pm

I have been on this site for some time as well and found your comments thought provoking. What I have found is a lot of people read profiles and assume things about the person or most seem to be into physical looks more so then personality at times. Now am I assuming? I am, but the key to great friendships or relationships is communications skills. Most people don't have them or don't understand the differences in how men and woman communicate. To me patience is key also. I am not one to rush into meeting someone ASAP. I like to either talk over the phone or email first before taking the next step. Then if we do meet, again don't assume we are going to have sex on the first meeting. Mind you sex is great, love it or I would not be on here. My preference in meeting people off this site or in this type of lifestyle is at the AdultFriendFinder meet and greets. They are in a controlled environment with other AdultFriendFinder members and you can control the situation more so with friends around. Plus, if serious about meeting someone, you come across more sincere and can establish trust with them. Now as far as your age or that you are a single mother, that should not matter to the right person. If they are sincere, then they will accept that and build a friendship from there. For me, I'm a positive glass is half full type of person. However, at times hard to stay positive if you get rejection. Then again, rejection happens to everyone. What I would like is someone who truly would love to go slow, start out as friends first, try new adventures and have fun outside the bedroom first before venturing in the bedroom for fun. The sex is more incredible. Am I asking to much? Not really. There are a lot of guys on here like me along with single ladies who do want the same. It's just a matter of getting out of your shell, taking a risk and meeting people. A numbers game to a degree. The more you meet, the better the chances of meeting Mr. Right or Ms. Right. Additionally, one thing I have noticed in the midwest versus the west coast, is ladies here tend to be more reserved and are somewhat old fashion. Some not all, still believe the man should make the first move and ask them out or meet. Whereas, on the west coast, ladies out there will be forward and come right up, start a conversation and ask you out. Is it refreshing when that happens to a guy? It is. Most guys, won't assume your easy if you do that. Ok vented long enough....lol Good luck with your search. Although we have emailed before Passionate, keep having fun and stay positive.

Also, some great books I have read on relationships are the books by John Gray on his series of Men are from Mars and Woman are from Venus. The ones I read that I enjoyed and opened my eyes to how men and woman communicate differently is his book on communication. Other ones have been his book on Dating and his book In the bedroom. All are good. True they are written by a guy, but education of any type in improving your relationship skills is beneficial.


rm_luke69iner 48M
3275 posts
11/9/2005 3:22 am

Finding love is definitely hard. I don't have any real suggestions other than keep trying. I wish I lived closer to you because from want little I know of you I would definitely be interested in you. Oh well next life maybe.

I hate to say it but I don't think a sex site is the easiest place to find love. I would think a lot of guys would tell you what ever you want to hear to have sex with you. I would keep trying the regular dating approaches too.

Best wishes

Always,
Luke


S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo
.
~Dante~


mister1derful4u 43M

11/9/2005 2:31 pm

I hate to say it but I think you have already heard that this is not the place to be looking for the type of relationship that you want.
But sometimes you never know... You are a very attractive, intelligent, confident woman. Like anything else - finding the right person takes time and I wish you the very best of luck.


MrStyle4u 54M

11/10/2005 9:13 pm

I understand. I bet that out of those 10-15 emails, maybe (on a lucky day) only one is worth replying to. My guess is that the rest say stuff like, "You sure are hot. Write back to me."

Happily married? Generally yes, but my wife sure is "tired" a lot. That can be pretty frustrating. I doubt I could cheat on her, but dabbling on AdultFriendFinder keeps my imagination going. I'm looking for an email gal pal, not one nighters.


snowman0808 44M
6 posts
11/10/2005 9:35 pm

I am not that much younger than you!!!

I think you know that I have enjoyed the time I have spent with you and would love to hang out and do some "normal" stuff with you in addition to the "fun" stuff.....


rm_luke69iner 48M
3275 posts
11/11/2005 1:22 am

Keep looking Passion when you feel up to it. I can't be the only single guy around your age on AdultFriendFinder that is interested in a relationship. You might have to sort through a whole lot of liars but I would imagine that there are a few guys in your area that are really interested in a relationship.

Best wishes

Always,
Luke


S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo
.
~Dante~


ashtonseeksdemi4 39M
5 posts
11/14/2005 7:01 pm

Well Done, Carrie Bradshaw

I can definitely appreciate a well written young author with the audacity to strike from the hip in response to her shitty love life.

I applaud you for your courageous efforts in taming those that are weaker hearted in their lust of you and your prose.

But, I still find myself asking, why would one as bold, as brazened and as passionate as yourself...be lonely, even for a night?

Do tell. And let it be the truth this time, my dear.


ashtonseeksdemi4 39M
5 posts
11/16/2005 11:31 pm

I accepted your invitation, CB.

And, now, I have the luxury of this big white box with so much space to fill. Because I am a man that looks at the big picture with a glass half full attitude, rather than an almost empty demeanor...I feel obligated to share a peice more.

I enjoy your words and how you speak your thoughts. I do not have you marked as one with extreme care for the meticulous details therefore you are not "picky."

Rather, I prefer to picture you as one with enthusiam and desire.

For what else could you be without passionatelove?


pumpnmunch22 54M

11/19/2005 2:06 pm

Hi passionate


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