Real Newspaper Headlines - Hilarious!!!  

PassionateBeat 44M
156 posts
10/1/2005 2:58 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Real Newspaper Headlines - Hilarious!!!

These are real headlines taken from newspaper articles... have fun and dont drink too much liquids while reading. Even, if you need to pee go now or risk making a mess !!!!

-Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

-Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

-Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

-Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

-Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

-Farmer Bill Dies in House

-Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

-Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

-Stud Tires Out

-Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

-Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

-Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again

-British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands

-Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms

-Eye Drops off Shelf

-Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

-Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

-Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

-Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66

-Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

-Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

-Miners Refuse to Work after Death

-Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

-Stolen Painting Found by Tree

-Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies

-Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter

-Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

-Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in `84

-War Dims Hope for Peace

-If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

-Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

-Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

-Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

-Deer Kill 17,000

-Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

-Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge

-New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

-Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

-Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

-Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

-Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire

-British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply

-Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

-Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees

-Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

-New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

-Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing

-Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing

-Air Head Fired

-Crook Who Steals Clock, Faces Time

-Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff

-Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni

-Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board

-Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

-Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction

-Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training

-Include your Children When Baking Cookies

-4-H Girls Win Prizes for Fat Calves

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