A series of Kinky jokes  

PassionateBeat 44M
156 posts
8/15/2005 5:40 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

A series of Kinky jokes


Prostitute Parrots
A woman had two female parrots who were always yelling, "We're prostitutes, wanna have a little fun?" One day, she was talking to her Preacher about this. He said he had two male parrots and all they did was read the Bible. He thought perhaps they would be a good influence on the two females. So they put the four parrots together. So, the females yelled at the male parrots, "We're prostitutes, wanna have a little fun?" One male parrot said to the other, "Put the Bibles away! We've made it to heaven!"

PassionateBeat 44M

8/15/2005 5:42 am

Affair with a dentist

Laura fell for her handsome new dentist like a ton of bricks and pretty soon had lured him into a series of passionate rendezvous in the dental clinic after hours.

But one day he said sadly, "Laura, honey, we have to stop seeing each other. Your husband's bound to get suspicious."

"No way, sweetie, he's dumb as a post," she assured him. "Besides, we've been meeting here for six months now and he doesn't suspect a thing."

"True," agreed the dentist, "but you're down to one tooth!"


PassionateBeat 44M

8/15/2005 5:44 am

Dead husbands

A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time.

"How wonderful! But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?"

"He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."

"Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?"

"He ate poisonous mushrooms, too, and died."

"Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband."

"He died of a broken neck."

"A broken neck?"

"He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."


PassionateBeat 44M

8/15/2005 5:45 am

SHaring a blanket

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train.

After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket."

The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better idea... let's pretend we're married."

"Why not," giggles the woman. "Good," he replies. "Get your own blanket."


PassionateBeat 44M

8/15/2005 5:46 am

Orgasm Condition

A man and a woman are riding next to each other in first class. The man sneezes and then starts screaming with extasy and pleasure.

A few minutes pass. The man sneezes again, and again screams as if he had just had the best sexual intercourse of his life. The woman is about to go nuts.

A few more minutes pass. The man sneezes yet again, and again is fully aroused.

The woman has finally had enough. She turns to the man and says, "Three times you've sneezed, and three times you've acted as if youv'e had great sex! What the hell kind of degenerate are you?"

The man replies, "I am sorry to have disturbed you, ma'am. I have a very rare condition such that when I sneeze, I have an orgasm."

The woman, now feeling badly, says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What are you taking for it?"

The man looks at her and says, "Pepper."


PassionateBeat 44M

8/15/2005 5:51 am

Ok... OK, here is the last one...
I know its not kinky but I like it

Generous drunk
A drunk staggers into a bar and says to the bartender,
"I'd like to buy everyone in the bar a drink and get one for yourself too!"

The bartender makes the drinks and everyone raises their glass
and yells "CHEERS!" and downs their drinks.

The bartender says "That'll be $37.50."

The drunk says, "Kiss my big white rear, 'cuz I don't have any money!"

This infuriates the bartender who then jumps over the bar and beats up the drunk and throws him out into the street.

The next day the same drunk walks into the same bar and says,
"I'd like to buy the whole bar a drink, and get one for yourself, too".

The bartender figures that maybe he was a little hard on the guy the day before and decides to give the guy the
benefit of the doubt. He makes the drinks and they all say,
"Salute!" and down the drinks.

The bartender says, "That'll be $42,50."

The drunk replies by putting his thumb to his nose, wiggling his fingers, and making a loud raspberry noise followed by, "I don't have any money and you can kiss my big white rear!"

This angers the bartender even more than the first time.
He jumps over the bar and beats the drunk and throws him out
into the street onto his face and kicks him a few times for good measure.

The next day the same drunk walks into the same bar, but before he can say anything the bartender says,
"Let me guess, you want to buy the whole bar a drink and I should get one for myself, too, right?"

The drunk replies, "No way, you get too violent when you drink!"


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