|Blogs > Owlwatcher > Nocturnal Submissions|
So, my birthday came and went without any fanfare, just as I like it. I'm somewhat ambivalent toward my birthday. Part of me doesn't want to acknowledge it because it should really be more of a celebration for my Mom. She's the one who actually accomplished something by carrying and birthing me, I was just there for the ride. But on the other hand, I would get a bit upset if my friends forgot. I haven't done anything for my birthday in years. I consider Saturday's concert to have been my birthday party. It wasn't complete without my other brother, but it was swell nonetheless.
Even though it's a year away, I never thought I'd dread turning 30. I never thought I'd be single going into it, either. Maybe that's why I'm bothered. I fear the testosterone drop most of all. I don't want to think my best athletic days are behind me. I still have things I want to accomplish and aging stands in the way.
I've been contemplating a move south. I attended Illinois State University and lived in the surrounding community for 2 years after I graduated. I love the area and never would stayed if not for my wife. When she got close to a job up here, I started looking here too. Now with her out of the picture, I'm free to do whatever I want, and I may want to return to Central Illinois. Actually the desire is strong, and it's fueled by my 2 best friends, who happen to live there too. As of right now, the only thing holding me back is employment. I need to have a job already set up down there. I don't want to move, then starve as I search for a way to pay the bills. I've applied for one job already, and another employment packet is in the mail on its way here right now. I'm confident I'll find work, I'm just impatient and want it now.
As Andy from the Shawshank Redemption put it: "Get busy living. Or get busy dying." I'm still young, right?