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Just Some Thoughts As I Relax this evening....
Just Some Thoughts As I Relax this evening....
I wonder how a man who is handsome, caring, thoughtful, unselfish, considerate, seductive, responsible, mature and has the gift of gab... can go horny for so damn long? I'll admit to myself that I am extremely selective... but one of the long standing thoughts I have is being married and struggling with the deal that my wife just does not embrace intimacy, passion, and pleasure as it should be in a marriage... I cajole her, buy her sexy lingerie, always make my desires known, and still am romantic in my pursuits towards her... so, instead of getting angry (animals go mad, humans get angry)... I think about myself and start to laugh at any number of things as I relax and reflect on my lovelife these past 32 years.... I had stretches in high school when I didn't get any punany... but when I graduated and decided to branch out of NYC... yes, I'm a Nuu Yawka for real and 4 LIFE!... My next stop was on the 'left coast' where I resided for 20 yrs... and damn did I get exposed to some good, bad, and indifferent sexual experiences.... more about those days another time... tonight I was just going through my jokes archives... some date back a few years... but they were the really good ones that still elicit a hearty laugh from me today.... for instance:
DICKOLOGY 101 --- From worst to greatest.
FELLA's which category do you think your lover, wife, or girlfriend has placed you?
LADIES some of this dick will make you well...you
figure it out.....
When the guy is extremely handsome. He says the right things, does the right things. When it comes to sex, he is lacking in this department. He sucks your tits too hard, kisses your mouth too long, stays around your neck forever, fingers you like a GYN Doctor, licks your
pussy like he was in a track meet and has a very small dick. You try to give him some head and only find that you are actually sucking a pacifier. This is so miserable. You think, "how can a guy so fine, so polite have weak game?" To top everything off ladies, how about just when in your mind your going to try to
get the best out of this even if you have to make
yourself cum and he beats you to the punch. DAMN, I cannot believe he came in 3 minutes!!!
This is funny dick. He eats major pussy. He eats it so good, your knees feel a little weak. It was good enough to make you shed a tear. Then he puts his dick in, for you to realize that you cannot really feel it!! His stroke is
UN-timing and non-rhythmic. You work with it by riding out on it as if you were in a Wild Wild West Movie. You hold your pelvic real tight and try to visualize the last big dick you had to get your mind off this less filling dick. It's funny because in the man's mind he'll say, that we just have big pussy's from having too much sex and that is why we cannot feel him. Only
for them to forget that the pussy is a muscle that accommodates the size of the penis. If she has had children already it will only shrink so much.
Well, how would we define this type of dick? You see, online they talk a damn good game. You meet and you fuck. The catch is you had an orgasm online, over the phone and a fake orgasm in person. But, there are some Internet dicks that are exceptions to this definition. Bottom
line____________. HE COULD NOT MAKE YOU CUM!!
I believe this dick ladies we all can testify to.
Whoa! This is the type of dick you misjudged. You saw some signs of weakness in this man. He always caters to you and really does not discuss what he can do in bed with you. When kissing him, you notice you make his knees weak. You
hold out on giving him some and tease him. You know what size dick he has because you have either A: Only gave him some mean-ass head. Or B: Stroked it while he was wearing pants or boxers. So, you thought in your mind, "I am going to pussy feed and whip him." Only to find he laid the "SMACK DOWN" on your pussy.
He had you in a figure eight. You were so overwhelmed that you could not even speak. Your whole pre-calculated fuck was down the drain. He had more game than you. He was like an energizer bunny that kept going and going. You could not even hang. Now you look at him in a different light.
This is the dick that pisses me off the most. You see, the guy you're sleeping with punishes your pussy. If he, had a bad or good day at work, "he punishes your pussy." If he, had
a good or bad meal, "he punishes your pussy." If he's pissed off at you, "he punishes your pussy." No matter what, "he punishes your pussy." It is easy to tell if the guy your with falls into this category. He always uses phrases like these when he is fucking you:
"DON'T RUN FROM THIS DICK!",
"AIN'T THIS SOME GOOD DICK?"
"TELL ME YOU LIKE THIS DICK!"
"WHAT IS MY NAME?"
"WHOSE PUSSY THIS BELONGS TO?"
"I DON'T HEAR YOU TALKING SHIT NOW!" and
"YOU LIKE WHEN DADDY GETS THIS PUSSY AND WHIPS IT?"
While all this is being said, he is literally smacking your ass, fucking your walls sore, sweat is dripping like it was raining and he acts like he is in a fight.
Ladies who have cheated on their man temporarily can say, "AMEN" to this type of dick. Ladies, this is the type of dick that makes you cry and
confess to your man you fucked someone else. The
guilty dick made you want to tell somebody. Guilty dick is in a class of it's own. Guilty dick makes you look and feel different about the dick you got at home. Guilty dick made you have multiple orgasms. Made you cry and you had no
clue to why. This dick is so intense, when it is being administered it sent you in a trance.
He has a slow long stroke, sweats on you, asks you if you're comfortable about six times, you started at 6 PM and it is now going on 9 PM and he is not tired and has not cum yet. He licks on your pussy as if he was a baby cat licking warm milk, he savors it like you're the main course meal, he smells it like fine wine and does not rush from the spot, he flips you over and begins licking your pussy from the back and your ass at the same time. He takes his fingers and inserts them in your pussy and looks at you, offers you a taste and begins sucking the juice/cum off of
his fingers. By now you're in shock and forgot all about your man. You act as if you want him to stop, but the walls of your pussy is screaming for more. He has at least two inches more than your man. Guilty dick makes you think
in your mind for a split second, "Oh Baby! I am sorry." Guilty dick in the end you try to avoid. When you're back with your man, you're
wondering why he cannot perform like guilty dick. You even have the nerve to get mad and then instruct him to do what guilty dick did to you.
This is good convenient dick. Easy dick. Dick you can call when your body needs a fix. You might as well call it "SPLAKEVELLIE." He gives you major head like GUILTY DICK and fucks you
like GUILTY DICK. Only thing is, you do not have a man, so you're not feeling guilty. Whenever
you call the dick is ready. His dick craves your
pussy. This dick is available anytime, anyplace.
GOD DAMN DICK-
Ladies, now this is dick that will definitely send you to hell if your not married to it. This dick is just like PLEASURABLE and GUILTY DICK. His dick is any where from 9.5 to 11 inches long and the circumference of a half dollar. This dick makes you numb, cry and pray all at the same time. While he is getting it doggy style
you look towards the heavens and say, "GOD DAMN THIS IS SOME GOOD DICK!"!
This is the gold mine dick. This dick is the dick that you commit yourself too. You do not cheat on it and you keep it a well kept secret. In fact, you constantly crave and feign for this dick. When you get this dick, you go through convulsions. This is the dick that makes you
EVERREADY. You call in sick from work for it. GOSH!!! This dick is so major it is OVERWHELMED
DICK, PLEASURABLE DICK, GUILTY DICK, and GOD DAMN DICK all in one. This is the dick that you want to put insurance on, just in case anything should happen to it. This dick makes you stutter while speaking and have you nervous for no reason.
I hope that those who read this you are both aroused and/or can relate and definitely humored too.... and if any of you ladies want to know which category I fit into I can only say that you have an open invitation to find out first hand...
I often think about weather I should feel guilty for seeking my desired pleasures outside of my marriage.... a lot. But I can say that I firmly believe that intimate pleasures aren't something that should be treated like a chore or item on a shopping list - LOL... and one should not have to put into a scheduler/appt book .... and I honestly believe that we all deserve these pleasures and a marriage committment in my mind only implies that everything being equal and fair of course, you don't seek these pleasures outside of your relationship unless you both in agreement... but on the contrary... if you're not getting what you need... then you owe it to yourself as a human being to seek it out for yourself... there is a certain ettiquete in doing so... like don't lie if you are married, say what it is... don't disrespect your spouse or home (I honestly don't believe that sex or lack thereof in a marriage is a reason to end that union), just handle your business... I learned early in life... "it's not what you do it's how you do it"... so, it's now 11:27pm EST.... think I'm going to put my rusty writing skills and write something erotic, suggestive, steamy, hot... most likely prose... if I think it's a good piece... I'll post it here on my next visit.... ... another thing that has been prevalent on my mind is the disaster/catastrophe unfolding in Louisiana and Alabama... my heart goes out to all those lost and those who are otherwise SOL... what I think about all this... in a nutshell... GOD just isn't happy with what people have been doing here in this country and one of his resources of gaining our attention is to allow these types of things to occur and I'm wondering if anyone is even listening to him??? He is speaking to our collective spirits... our selfishness, non-caring attitudes, malicious treatment of others, and a host of other things... we will either truly come together and take back our country or we will continue to slide into self destruction... freedom is about individual responsibility which amounts to collective accountability.