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Sex and the Shitty
Sex and the Shitty
I have observed an interesting online phenomenon.
A male, desperate for sex and often for a good reason (he’s ugly, smelly, rude, full of shit, full of himself, or just has no clue how to treat a woman) manages to get a reply to one of his messages. He engages in some dirty e-mail talk and she rtesponds similarly.
Then starts nagging her for a photo. Chances are, he hasn’t posted one of himself, or just one of part of him (or what he claims is part of him), or one of someone far more attractive than he is.
The picture arrives and he sees she’s largish, or shortish, or oldish, or (damn it) just not the playboy centrefold he thought she was, which he feels he ‘deserves’. So now the situation changes. Now he thinks she’s not good enough for him. That he can do better.
You see, males rarely suffer from the body or appearance issues that females do. We all think we’re studly, handsome and attractive. We don’t see the beer gut as fat, no ‒ it’s a ‘variable capacity storage appendage’. We don’t see the B.O. or near terminal halitosis as a problem. “Hey, what’s wrong with those chicks ‒ they must be lezzos or something ‘cos they aren’t knocking each other over to get to ME!”
It’s TRUE, we men are quite blind to the idea that just like we want to have wild, steamy sex with a young nymphomaniac supermodel virgin (and her friends), so the reciprocal occurs with women. They, too, want good-looking, guys.
But there’s more than that. Guys can be really shitty about these things. Like dropping her like a hot potatoes just because she looks like she’s eaten one too many. The second he sees the pic, he stops chatting to her, or tells her some BS, or worse, tells her she’s ugly or whatever. Like he’s ‘lowering’ his standards by even talking to her. Actually, it’s the other way round!
It never ceases to amaze me how guys who’d be lucky to get a root from a hole in the fence, think they can treat women with disdain or as if they were ‘owed’ something from them. I can sort-of understand why women put up with it to a certain degree from ‘hunks’, as they at least get a good-looking shag. But the ugly ones ‒ why can’t they take the hint and go and buy a mirror or deodorant or something?
Me, I’m a sex object. You know what that means, don’t you? Whenever I ask for sex, women object!!!
Generally, I’ve found women are better at dealing with ‘undesirables’ than men. They try NOT to hurt your feelings. They also try not to give you the idea of stalking them as well!
I know, because I’ve often been on the receiving end of this. Not because of my looks, you understand. No, I’m GORGEOUS!!! But I understand that my profile and personality isn’t for everyone. Anyway, there’s plenty more fish in the sea, although I’m not really kinky enough to actually have sex with a fish (those blighters have TEETH)!!
But for me, it’s the eyes and the smile. If a pretty faced girl smiles at me with that spark in her eyes like she means it, I’m hers. Of course there are some limitations. I mean with me being so good-looking and all, there have to be limits. But I’m a realist, and they aren’t very strict limits.
There are only 2 kinds of women I don’t find attractive sexually (but not UNATRACTIVE, just that I probably won’t want sex with them, but still would have time for them) ‒ Anorexics / Bulemics; I can’t stand to see the damage to a beautiful girl that these diseases cause. And Really Really Big girls (disproportionatly large); I love curves, and even ‘extra padding’, but when those curves have curves and those ones have extra padding, then I’ll kiss you, hold your hand, take you out and see a movie with you, or the like, (I wouldn’t be ‘ashamed’ to be seen with you) but probably won’t want to shag you.
Of course, there are always exceptions. I’m not completely committed to that. I mean, well, if you can melt my heart and not cause me physical damage when you ride me like a wild cowgirl, I might be convinced. That and you actually offering. Yep, that’d do it!
A pretty smile, a cute face, and a willingness to roger me senseless wins my heart every time!
Aren’t I romantic!
At least I’m honest.
8/30/2005 6:26 am
God Damn you are an excellent writer! |
You sound like the male version of me.