...and you thought this'd be easy.  

NoodleFrontity 56M
11 posts
7/1/2005 11:33 pm

Last Read:
11/15/2006 11:48 pm

...and you thought this'd be easy.

I guess you could say this is my 2-bit guide to getting ahead in the chat rooms and on the site in general. I'm not claiming to be an expert - not by any stretch of the imagination, I've only been here for a short while myself. But, in that time I've managed to pick up a few tidbits & pointers. I'm now going to share these with anyone interested in reading them. Pay heed and see if you can pick up some of your own along the way.

First, guys: This isn't a free redlight district. You're not gonna get laid by simply stating "M XXyrs old in YYY lookin for a good time."

Correction, it might get you laid, but not here (and not unless you shell out some bucks too).

Let me give you some numbers. BTW, these numbers are based on Alberta only, and only includes men, women and couples (m/f). Feel free to interpret the stats anyway you want. I did, in a glass is half-empty kinda way.

The membership breakdown is like this:
80% men, 11% women, 9% couples

This is a bad sign for guys right off. It means there are roughly 8 guys to each girl. The ratio is about the same if you're looking to get into a menage à trois and that only works if you're willing to go MMF.

Jeez eight guys to one couple... is that a menage à dix?

What are those members looking for:
10% men, 75% women, 15% couples

Another bad sign. 90% of members are looking for something other than us guys. Somebody better help me with the math here, I'm sure I've got this next part wrong: If there's one girl to every eight guys then it holds that there'd be 10 girls to every 80 guys, right? And only 10% of members (one of those 10 girls) is seeking a guy, then it's like 80 guys to 10 girls but only 1 of them is willing... you might as well say 80:1.

Actually, now that I think about it - if my math is wrong, don't tell anybody. Maybe it'll scare off the competition and I'll have a better chance with the ladies

My point is, the competition is stiff (no pun intended), you're not gonna get anywhere by simply blurting out the fact that you're horny.

What else does this mean? It means the ladies get to shop around. They can pick & choose and take their sweet time about it if they want. And who would blame them? If the roles were reversed, wouldn't you be picky? I certainly would.

OK, so now you're probably asking "Tell me oh great one, what should I do with these marvellous statistics?" Well, ok, maybe that's not the exact question, but it's close enough.

A: Go to a chat room and lurk. Disable your screen saver, sit back and watch the conversations.

Try to get a feel for who the regulars are. And I don't just mean the ladies, pay attention to the couples and guys too. They're all a part of the game and just like in chess, if you ignore those little pieces on the side, you're gonna get burned. You can usually tell a regular because they're often greeted by other regulars as soon as they enter the room.

Once you've got the hang of reading the messages, look for nicknames, short names, and abbreviations that are commonly used. I've been chatting with friends & family on <insert commercial chat client names here> for years and yet there were a lot of TLAs (three letter abbreviations) that I didn't recognize here.

When in doubt, get off the lurkers couch for a moment, address someone who's just used the abbreviation you're unsure of, and ask them to explain it.
Yo hooChieMaMa, Newbie question: What's BBW?
If they don't answer, don't panic, they might've missed it. Wait until someone else uses it and try again. Or maybe just pay attention, you might pick up the meaning from the context in which it's used.

Once you've gotten a hang of following message threads and understanding all the short-hand, spend some time looking at the profiles. Just like with the regulars, read profiles for guys & couples too. Trust me, it can't hurt you to get to know who else is around. It also might work to your advantage. If a guy is in a different city then he's not really competition is he? But you're not gonna know that if you don't at least look at his profile.

Even if he's local it can't hurt to know your competition. Find out what about him that others find appealing. BTW, I'm not saying you should emulate your competition, no, no, no! You should always be yourself. But maybe there are aspect of your personality that are similar to his. Use them to get to know the regulars.

If you're paying attention, you'll probably notice something in those profiles. I'll bet you don't find a single one (male, female or couple) that says they're looking for someone who is dull and boring. Everybody values a sense of humour. Everybody also has a sense of humour, you've just got to learn how to express it in the chat room (and you'll learn that by paying attention).

There's another advantage to getting to know the guys. You're sitting at home, bored so you log onto your fave chat. When you get there you find that there's no girls around or they just don't feel like chatting. There might be a guy or two who's in the same boat as you and just wants some company to go shoot some pool or have a few beers. OK, so maybe it won't get you in the sack but it'll get you outta the dungeon.

When you get back online, you'll have something to talk about. And if others see that you've met with someone (regardless of gender), right away it'll drop a barrier that they may have had up before. They might reconsider hooking up with you for a similar kind of rendezvous.

In a way, I guess you could say your chat experience is going to be like sex. You get the best results if there's thought behind it and lasts a long time.


playfulwithyou33 56F
961 posts
7/2/2005 3:42 am

(passes him the virtual fruit tray) Hello, welcome to blogging! There is a blogger's group on this site--Blogger's of this friendly site. Additionally, it has a chatroom. (feel free to pop in sometime and say hi)

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