Friends with benefits.... What's your definition?  

Nishka5 45F
23 posts
8/22/2005 10:57 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Friends with benefits.... What's your definition?

When I hear the term "Friends with benefits" I have a lot of varied thoughts that come to mind for a description of this title. I automatically think of two adults that aside from having an attraction for each other, they also have common expectations such as a respect for the others personal space, standing by their word when they say "No strings attached" and being upfront about their sexual health, even to go so far as showing proof of latest medical check up for HIV & STD's.
I can't speak for anyone other than myself, but I know that I'm not looking for "ever after" and have no intention of giving any kind of false impression of what I may be seeking. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I would be closed minded if I met the right one, I'm just not holding my breath for it to happen. I would love to meet one or two (more depending) guys that I could go out with, have dinner, catch a movie, maybe go dancing or out to shoot some pool that I could have sex with, secure in the knowledge that there isn't any hidden agenda behind our actions.
I can't imagine putting any kind of title on that kind of set up. I'm not expecting to be called his girlfriend because I wouldn't call him my boyfriend. We would just be two adults enjoying sex and maybe some other mutual interests & activities in a relaxed environment.
I guess my outlook on it may vary from others. I can't imagine expecting them to tell me where they went, what they did or who they were with when we weren't together. Well, maybe I should take that last part back, but let me explain. I would only expect any information like that if they had sex with another, and even then, it would only be for medical health reasons because I would show the same curteousy and respect for them by disclosing information for their safety. Let's face it folks, there are some seriously nasty & scary diseases out there and we as a society can no longer just accept someone saying that they're clean, providing proof of being clean not only shows but earns respect for themselves & others, or at least it does in my opinion.
For those of you who have read some of my writing should know by now that I believe in being straight forward and brutally blunt, even if at my own expense. I wasn't put on this earth to judge anyone and appreciate the same curteousy in return.
If there is anyone out there that agrees with my definition of "friends with benefits", have checked out my profile and would like to get in touch to discuss options, that would be great.

As always, I welcome any and all comments on my writing, be it the style or topic.

rm_mtnravyn 60M
890 posts
8/23/2005 6:09 pm

nishka (beautiful name) I would say you did a very good job of describing FWB. Most of the situations I have been in have been learning experiences for us both. There is always something new with a partner if you are willing to be open and experiment. By thte time you reach the stage of FWB hopefully you can talk about fantasies and possibitlies. The one caveat you mentioned is tied to respecting your partner. I would nevre do anything to put her health (or mine really) at risk. That shows respect for the gift you share trusting each other with the intimacy you do. I did look at your profile and maybe you should start that quest for a mentor (I do not remeber the word you used). Check out some of the groups on AdultFriendFinder as a starting point. Well written. Thansk for the opportunity to share

LookingForFunLov 51M

10/3/2005 1:26 pm

I think you nailed it on the head with one exeption. You never touch on the issue of intimacy. If you are friends with benefits that just get together and fuck once in a while then it seems like there is a real detachment and you may as well masterbate. So the qusetion I would ask is, "can you be fwb and still be intimate during sex?" By the way Nishka I'd love to try

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