The Final chapter  

Nightguy_1961 55M
3324 posts
4/19/2006 1:04 am

Last Read:
4/21/2006 11:31 pm

The Final chapter

For a previous look back at my journey into BDSM, please look at the following posts:
The Dark Sage reminisces on things gone by...
My first step on my Path along the Lifestyle.
My first mentor
My second Mentor

Thanks NG61

The Dark Sage picks up his quill and starts to write about the darkest time in his life,when he almost lost everything...


When I left Florida and returned to Virginia, it was like going from black to white. Remember, this is Pat Robertson/Jerry Falwell country. People into so-called 'kinky sex' are frowned upon...hell, people into sex in general are frowned upon.

I made the drastic mistake of remarrying in 1987. For some reason, I had this irrational fear of growing old alone. Before we were married, my new wife liked to play around some, so I figured I could ease her into BDSM gradually. Little did I know...

It wasn't shortly after we were married that the subtle process of 'changing me' began. We used to try different sexual positions in bed; now, it was either missionary or her on top. She started calling the shots, and I never even realized it.

There is an old biker fable about two ways to boil a frog: One way is to put on a pot of water, get it boiling, then throw the frog in. The frog jumps like mad and sometimes gets away. Then there is the other way to boil a frog: put on a pot of lukewarm water, but don’t turn on the heat. Put the frog in, he swims around, happy as hell. Slowly turn up the heat, gradually heating the water. By the time, the frog realizes he's being cooked, it's too f*cking late.

Well, I was the frog in part two. I cut my hair, changed my appearance...in other words, I became respectable...or at least, HER version of respectable. Sex became something I almost dreaded with her...as hard to believe as that sounds. Needless to say, I buried the Dominant side of my persona, thinking it was dead and gone for good. But it doesn't work that way. Getting rid of a part of your character as intrinsic as that would be like cutting out a lung, or chopping off an arm...sure, you'd live, but you wouldn't be a whole person.

I was miserable. It was during this time I found out I suffered from clinical depression. But still, I was faithful to the bitch, even when she did her best to separate me from my family and friends. I was promoted and moved up north to Toledo. It was there that my world damn near crumbled around my head.

I went to a strip club with some business associates and got a free pass for a return visit. I forgot about the damn thing and left it in my car. While I was on a business trip, she went through my car and found the pass. Within 24 hours, she'd packed her bags, packed up our infant son, and headed back to southwest Virginia to her people, leaving my teenage son home alone while I was away.

She filed for divorce and that's when my hell really began. Somehow, she found out about my BDSM activities and had them drug out in court. When the dust finally settled, I lost my son, lost my job, lost my house, damn near lost my mind, and almost lost my life. I remember sitting in the living room, with a pistol in my hand, ready to eat it. But the idea of my son finding me the next morning like that stopped me, plus...the Dominant side resurrected itself.

I came back to Virginia and started to rebuild my life, slowly, one piece at a time. It was during this time that I met my lady and things improved. We found out that we liked a lot of the same things, including sexual things. We got married in 2002, and last year, she and I decided to not only live as husband & wife, but as Dominant/submissive. It has been a dynamic process...always changing, never static. Since joining AdultFriendFinder last year, both of us have been fortunate to have made many friends who share the same interests as we do and we hope to meet and make more friends. The Journey continues on to this very day.

I hope that this has shed some light, not only on myself, but also on WIITWD. It is a tough Path to follow, but I think that it can be worthwhile. Thank you for joining me on this look back. Was it tough for me? Hell, yes. Was it worth it? I think so.

The Dark Sage puts down his quill and closes his journal...done with his history. He reaches to put out the candle, but stops...hoping his light will lead others along their chosen Paths.

©Nightguy_1961 2006


NGs_lady 64F
762 posts
4/19/2006 6:10 am

Thank you, my love. You honor me by saying things got better when you met me. I believe that we were put in the situation we were so we could meet and that one day we could become what we are today.

Just remember...I will always be here for you & with you.

With all my love, your wife, friend, lover, and respectful submissive,

NGs_lady


Nightguy_1961 replies on 4/19/2006 7:14 pm:
My lady...my soul rests easier knowing that you'll be by my side...no matter what.

sassybelle21 32F
13313 posts
4/19/2006 9:18 am

May the journey with your lady continue to be interesting


Nightguy_1961 replies on 4/19/2006 7:16 pm:
sassy,

Well, considering she's Cajun....the journey WILL be interesting

GoddessOfTheDawn 105F
11238 posts
4/19/2006 12:56 pm


what a gud post.... and great comments too....

you're lucky to have each other


Nightguy_1961 replies on 4/19/2006 11:28 pm:
GOTD

We are lucky indeed to have each other...thank you.

pandoo5 59M
398 posts
4/19/2006 3:32 pm

seems you are a brave soldier, brave I said because soldier knows he is their even if he dies just fight but brave one knows to fight it back and you did, some time it hurt to know even what people go through, I'll say you are lucky to build it back and have a beautiful wife and life you desired, we always learn from reading some times about life and other times NG and his wife.


Nightguy_1961 replies on 4/19/2006 11:28 pm:
pandoo5,

Thank you for your comments and thank you for visiting my blog.

caressmewell 53F

4/19/2006 3:36 pm

I hope one day I can find my "partner" as you have found yours.


Nightguy_1961 replies on 4/19/2006 11:29 pm:
It will happen when you least expect it...trust me on that.

wickedeasy 66F  
25462 posts
4/19/2006 5:06 pm

and that may be the very reason the word "bitch" was created

a journey is a series of steps - some forward, some to the side to discover new paths, and some back to discover the hidden treasure in lessons learned

You continue to inspire me

with love and admiration

easy

You cannot conceive the many without the one.


Nightguy_1961 replies on 4/19/2006 11:31 pm:
Glad that my words inspire you wicked

MamChelle 48F  
1443 posts
4/19/2006 5:34 pm

So much of what You have written reflect a similar story in my own life..perhaps i will find the courage to tell it. i also had to sit in a court room and have my life drug out and paraded by an ex husband....WIITWD ...stand! Sometimes that is what is most prudent, and only thing O/one can do. Be that light. Reflect, as You and lady are doing, the loving and good side of this lifestyle. The pic reflects the closeness and love that is Both of Y/you. i am so glad that is so obvious. *hugs and smiles* c


Nightguy_1961 replies on 4/19/2006 11:32 pm:
I know that there will be a special place in hell for those who take our most intimate secrets and parade them around in hopes of shaming someone.

angelofmercy5 58F
17881 posts
4/19/2006 9:12 pm

This was a beautifully written post...and the love and respect that you and your lady have for one another shines through. I am not in your lifestyle....but I find it fascinating to learn about. I'm so glad that you have each other....walking through life together is more fun than walking alone.


Nightguy_1961 replies on 4/19/2006 11:32 pm:
Thank you angel...glad you stopped by...appreciate your comments.

papyrina 51F
21133 posts
4/20/2006 10:30 am

thankyou for all these posts that have lead to this one
sorry that you went through such a bad time but just possible from that you found your lady and can now be happy together now and always ,hugs my new friend


I'm a

and
i'm here to stay


Nightguy_1961 replies on 4/20/2006 12:49 pm:
papy,

Thank you for reading...she is my best friend

*hugs*I'll always accept hugs from good looking ladies!!!

Whispersoftly5 52F
15176 posts
4/21/2006 2:49 pm

Thank you for sharing your experiences! They're incredible to read and very enlightening. I love the picture of you and your sweet lady!

Whisper...


Nightguy_1961 replies on 4/21/2006 11:32 pm:
Whisper...

I'm glad you like my writings...and the picture!

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