SSC or maybe RACK? Huh?  

Nightguy_1961 55M
3324 posts
6/4/2006 12:45 am

Last Read:
6/12/2006 3:26 pm

SSC or maybe RACK? Huh?

In a previous post, BDSM - What It Is That We Do, I brought up some of the terms that are used in the BDSM Lifestyle. Granted, I did not touch on every term, phrase, or acronym that we use in expressing our form of sexuality. But I'm embarrassed to admit I forgot one of the most important acronyms we use in defining our Lifestyle.

SSC - Safe, Sane, Consensual

Chances are if you surf some of the BDSM websites on the 'net, you'll see those three letters somewhere on the website. But what does it mean?

Safe - As a Dominant, I will make sure that all people involved in BDSM play will be safe. I will not engage in any play if I or anyone involved is intoxicated or unable to have a viable role in our play. I will be alert to any potential hazard in our play. I will be alert to my submissive's/slave's limits and will respect them.

Sane - All of our BDSM activities will be in the realm of the realistic. We will not perform any activities that could be deemed as extremely risky to physical or mental wellbeing.

Consensual - Everybody involved will be in agreement on what will take place. Limits will be defined and observed at all times. If, at any time, one person feels that something is not quite right, play will stop...with no repercussions or incriminations.

Give you an example of the above - I know of one member on this friendly site who has a fantasy about forced anal sex. She says she wants to be restrained and be ' ' anally. I know...a little extreme ( fantasy/role play is a delicate subject...too much can go wrong quick, and so it should only be played with two people who completely trust each other). If a Dominant were to work to fulfill her desire, he has to make sure that he has her well-being in mind at all times; how to restrain her, proper lubricant, etc, etc. A fantasy like this must be discussed from front to back, top to bottom. Safe words must be in place, so if she starts to panic, she can stop the play with just one word. SSC.

Sounds good, right?

But the critics will say, "Wait a minute, how can tying someone up and whipping them be called safe and sane? Sounds kind of contradictory, now doesn't it?" I am not going to lie - people can and do get hurt in BDSM...mostly through ignorance...but hurt nonetheless. So how can we say that WIITWD is Safe and Sane?

Well, that's is where a new word comes into use - RACK.

RACK - Risk Awareness, Consensual Kink. Those of us in the Lifestyle know that there are some risks involved when we play. Ropes can cut into skin, a crop or cane can cut, a paddle can bruise...things like that. But we accept those risks!!! Also, we don't expose anyone new to the Lifestyle to the extreme right off the bat.

For example, if you've never gone hang gliding before, you're not going to strap up and jump off of a 500 foot cliff.'ll start off at the beginning and work your way up, now wouldn't you?

Speaking of hang gliding, that kind of supports the concept of RACK...if I were to go hang gliding, I am aware that there is a risk involved in this endeavor, but I am consenting to take this risk to fulfill my desire(kink).

I hope the above has helped shed some more light on WIITWD.

Thus endeth the lesson...
©NG61 2006

Partyinaskirt 51F
754 posts
6/4/2006 2:18 am

so much to little time.
The in depth persona, the acceptance is more than I can grasp. how can I be so ignorant of these things so enlightening?

Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/5/2006 3:45 am:
It's not ignorant if all you've ever been told is "Doing that is wrong!"

Thanks for reading....

fancy_for_you 39F
3014 posts
6/4/2006 2:32 am


Posts like this are what bring me back to your blog. It is nice to hear from someone like you who actually knows what they are talking about. Since I have made it public that I am interested in this lifestyle so many have tried to pull the I'm a Dom crap on me but yet they can't tell me what SSC is so I tell em to get lost.

And critics need to step back and think. There are people out there who get hurt everyday by NON consensual sexual experiences. I myself have been through some of those situations. I much rather know what I am getting into than have those other things happen.

Thank you for being so informative for us that are thinking of joining your lifestyle. And so you know how much your blog and OC's blog have affected me please feel free to come read my blog about Something That Intrigues Me. And would readily accept any advice you have for someone interested in the lifestyle.



Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/5/2006 3:45 am:
Not a problem...I'll try to help in whatever way I can.....

rm_PeanutJackie 35F
1286 posts
6/4/2006 7:10 am

Another wonderfully informative post, NG. I would love to direct people to this post from my blog if it is okay with you.

"I am beautiful no matter what you say, words can't bring me down. So don't you bring me down today."

Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/5/2006 3:46 am:
Go right ahead.....and thank you.....

longtallandcute 41M
42 posts
6/4/2006 7:48 am

Or as Lois Griffin says.. The safety word is Banana..

"Wait a minute, how can tying someone up and whipping them be called safe and sane? Sounds kind of contradictory, now doesn't it?"

So does safe driving. That's why there's a training course and a licensing scheme. Or why surgeons have to have about 15 years of specialist training before they're allowed to cut people open and prod the purple wobbly thing. SSC ... *shrugs* ... I just call it responsibility.

Thanks for another good post NightGuy

Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/5/2006 3:46 am:
Thank you for reading it and commenting.....

curious082385 31F
4925 posts
6/4/2006 7:53 am

I love it when you do posts like this. I never knew so much of this. It's a fascinating glimpse into a tantalizing world.

Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/5/2006 3:47 am:
Thank you....and just how tantalizing is it becoming?

NSAAddict 42F

6/4/2006 8:06 am

Wonderfully informative NightGuy, I always learn a little more when I come here. Thank you.

Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/5/2006 3:47 am:
Thank, when are you going to give it a try?

HBowt2 58F

6/4/2006 8:10 am

knowledge takes away some of the strangness ....always a good thing...

Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/5/2006 3:48 am:
Thank you.....

LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
6/4/2006 9:58 am

    Quoting curious082385:
    I love it when you do posts like this. I never knew so much of this. It's a fascinating glimpse into a tantalizing world.
I feel the same way...TY...

Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/5/2006 3:48 am:
Thank you for reading.....

twirly_girl 47F

6/4/2006 10:49 am

I really appreciate all the information and sharing.
I've learned a lot from you.


Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/5/2006 3:49 am:
I am glad you enjoyed it....thank you.....

papyrina 51F
21133 posts
6/4/2006 12:46 pm

i enjoy you,you educate us in such a well phrased manner that i'm sure i'm not talking just for my self, but you say it in a way that leaves us all wanting to at least try this lifestyle once

I'm a

i'm here to stay

Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/5/2006 3:49 am:
Thank you, papy....I think you might find it interesting....

Whispersoftly5 52F
15176 posts
6/4/2006 12:51 pm

This is very interesting and helpful! Thank you!


Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/5/2006 3:50 am:
You are quite welcome....nice boots, btw....

Twister2bed 47M
617 posts
6/4/2006 12:52 pm

Takes notes...Thanks NG

Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/5/2006 3:50 am:
Glad you like it....thank you.....

MamChelle 48F  
1443 posts
6/4/2006 2:22 pm

*Applauds yet again* Thank You NG, i'd like to say to ((fancy for you)), that using initials related to the lifestyle IS a good test to pull on potential parties, who may not know all thay are pretending to know....because A/any who have dabbled even, seem to quickly pick up the lingo, most of the smarter wannabes, hopefully will study that before ever picking up the crops, floggers etc....LOL. *wicked smartassed grin* c

Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/5/2006 3:51 am:
Makes sense to me.....thanks......

fancy_for_you 39F
3014 posts
6/4/2006 3:37 pm


I must say I am glad to know it is a good way to test people. I myself don't know much yet but I am smart enough to go find the info on a site and then call the people later if I have to. Also I have NG's blogs now to refer to and OC to talk to. And I noticed I made some spelling errors on my own blog with some terms so bad Fuzzy who is gonna spank me for punishment? Oh wait I'd enjoy that to



Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/5/2006 3:52 am:
There are other forms of punishment besides a spanking.....We've such sights to show you........!!!

NGs_lady 64F
762 posts
6/4/2006 5:56 pm

Thank you My Love we have all learned from you in one way are another.

NGs_lady/ Lady Stee

Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/5/2006 3:52 am:
Thank you, my lady......

TheLilFondler 33F
2576 posts
6/4/2006 6:55 pm

*sits in the middle of the floor... hmmmmmmmm i just keep learning more and more here

i lost my virginity years ago.....
but i still have the box.....

Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/5/2006 3:53 am:


6/4/2006 8:14 pm

Answered many questions I have always had...thanks alot, as always you are appreciated! Smooches {=}

just a squirrel trying to get a nut

Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/5/2006 3:53 am:
Thank you....nice to be appreciated....

libgemOH 56M/52F

6/4/2006 8:30 pm

Thank you for yet more information to add to my intrigue...

And this subject is very similar to one that was brought up between us and a couple we have met that we actually consider friends rather than just fuck buddies. If we go through with our plans, this will be their first time in a sharing/swapping situation and Jim and I have found that we are more concerned with their well being, physically and emotionally, than with just getting 2 new fuck buddies.

We have all consentually chosen to halt the plans until such time as the 4 of us can sit down and talk about it and make certain they are comfortable enough to know that they can stop things at anytime without fear of hard feelings. I am glad to see that this is the custom also in the BDSM lifestyle and gives me a little more comfort in taking that "plunge." Thanks L!!! -B

Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/5/2006 3:54 am:
Good for the both of you, glad to hear it......and thanks....

bimble3 57M
49 posts
6/4/2006 11:36 pm

At the end of the day !!!! isnt it just down to "Common sense" as to how far to take things ?? Even With SSC or Rack, Surely it's down to the Dom to use His / Her Common sense ??? Now Basically I'm on About Don & Sub not necessarily SadoMach, although I Know this comes into it

Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/7/2006 10:38 pm:
Yes, it does come down to the Dominant's common sense...but the submissive has some responsibility as well.

Think about it, if a submissive has a lower back problem, but doesn't say anything to the Dominant and then gets tied in a severe shibari bondage tie which leads to an injury....who is responsible?

Just a thought....thanks & welcome to the Fortress....

bimble3 57M
49 posts
6/4/2006 11:41 pm

Save you going there NightGuy, the Link is to ME, which I have posted above because I Value A "Subs" advice Ie Salz !!!I Would CERTAINLY Appreciate some Advice to Make sure ALL are "Safe" Although I THINK I got it !!! But I would rather have an "Experienced" Dom let me know If I got it right, OR I need to do XYZ Before anything starts, as this side of Sex REALLY appeals to me !!!

bimble3 57M
49 posts
6/5/2006 4:49 am

Hi Nightguy, I DO know the difference between "Life" & Film !! I'm not that Naive !!! I Have looked intenseley at the "Net" for the "In's & out's" of this subject, ssc & rack, the use of "Safewords" etc etc and the possible "Repercussions" of this Fascinating sexual world.

I think Salz just thinks I've seen a film & want to try it !!!No hun, I've done A LOT more research than that !!!! But I thank her for her Input & concern AND the fact, she's Put me onto you !!

Your post, while informative, Is something I have Already seen & Taken notice of, of course, "Glancing" the S&M side of things, I'm MORE interested in the DOM side of things, so ANY "Advice" whether heard or NOT, will be greatly appreciated.

Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/7/2006 10:40 pm:
I'm glad to hear that...too many times, there are those who see an Ona Zee fetish video or read a Gor novel and then go out and say, "I'm a Dom" or "I'm a sub"...and it isn't that easy.

Find out in your local areas where any munches are...a group of like minded individuals....that is always a good start....


BadAssBlonde1 56F
4989 posts
6/5/2006 8:47 am

Give you an example of the above - I know of one member on this friendly site who has a fantasy about forced anal sex. She says she wants to be restrained and be ' ' anally. I know...a little extreme ( fantasy/role play is a delicate subject...too much can go wrong quick, and so it should only be played with two people who completely trust each other). If a Dominant were to work to fulfill her desire, he has to make sure that he has her well-being in mind at all times; how to restrain her, proper lubricant, etc, etc. A fantasy like this must be discussed from front to back, top to bottom. Safe words must be in place, so if she starts to panic, she can stop the play with just one word. SSC.

I don't think this is a delicate subject at all, NG. I have seen many have this fantasy and act upon it naturally. One thing to point out though, it was with people that have invested time in each other. That is the only way to reach the boundaries of trust. It is the responsibility of the Dominant to also direct the bottom, (I don't think this person is what I would call a submissive) and not allow topping from the bottom to occur. For this type of scene, there would need to be a great deal of ground work laid, not only in negotiations but in the physical manner as well. From Prep to After-Care. It normally takes more than two people, from what I have experienced. I always recommend with this type of play a body movement to end or stop, as not all are able to get their safe word out; thus making it useless. A few etc, etc, etc, to add.

For all Time,
Lady Hunter © Summer of 2006

After all the sex is gone, there is the mind - Lady Hunter / BAB

Copyright © House of Lady Hunter 1998-2009

Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/7/2006 10:44 pm:
I meant delicate as to the mention of the word ' '....I know one player from way back in the day who was assaulted late one night after she got off from work. She was okay, but for the longest time, she couldn't be alone in a room with just a man....she still carried deep scars from her attack.

I told the young lady in question that she would have to be able to trust her partner in this play implicitly and to communcate and stage out the entire play from start to finish. I hope they did okay, I was trying to find an experienced Dom in her area...but no such luck.

Thanks, darlin'....appreciate your catch the details I tend to forget....

bimble3 57M
49 posts
6/5/2006 1:01 pm

I'd Just like to comment on My previous comments ....... ignore them !! Since reading your Blogs, I have now a new, more informed point of view, thanks NG

Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/6/2006 9:26 pm:

Please forgive my tardiness in responding to you. I read your blog and I see that you have a genuine interest in this Lifestyle. I hope you understand that so many negative things have occurred involving BDSM, that those of us in it tend to be wary when new people are interested.

If you wish, I would enjoy emailing some information and websites I have recommended to others who are interested in BDSM.

Good luck on your's well worth the trip.

papyrina 51F
21133 posts
6/5/2006 3:07 pm

hehe i know i would

I'm a

i'm here to stay

spacecadet561 59M

6/5/2006 3:10 pm

Verrrry Interesting. This makes it a little less scary than the impression I've gotten from a few other bloggers. Thanks.


Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/6/2006 9:28 pm:
spacecadet...I'm glad that you've found my words interesting. Though on the outside, BDSM does appear scary....we like it.

Thanks and welcome to the Fortress....

TheLilFondler 33F
2576 posts
6/5/2006 6:36 pm

*returns to her spot under the table quietly looking at the floor....

i am sorry NG

i lost my virginity years ago.....
but i still have the box.....

Nightguy_1961 55M
4866 posts
6/5/2006 10:38 pm

    Quoting lickmyballstom:
    " You amuse me, young man ".....(Ahem!).......Well then, I guess that makes us even? Cause I find you FUCKING HYSTERICAL! Like I just got done telling bimble or bumble fuck...whatever his name is? I am forced to take a shit on your blogs because the little princess is blocking me again on hers. If she would get off her fucking high horse? There wouldn't be so many civilians and innocent bystanders getting hit with flying debris and ending up as collateral damage?!! Word!
    Anyway, Night Guy, a moment of your time? I will give it up to you for showing, so far, the only sign of intelligence in her universe. Now don't get too excited! That doesn't mean we're going to go camping together up on " Brokeback Mountian "? LOL!!! But, when you noted that," I seemed to know her so well, it was like I knew her in real time and in regular day to day life "? Thank you, finally a flash of sanity and insight, and it didn't have to come from me this time?! LOL! You are absolutely correct on that one. I've been trying to talk sense to that women for almost a year now. It's like trying to pull teeth from a tiger in heat! As a matter of fact, I'm so emeshed with her I'm not sure where she starts and I end anymore? Can you talk to her and tell her that dealing with me on a junior high school level is never going to cut it, with me? If she acts like an adult I'll start treating her like one. And if she insist on playing these kinds of childish games. There will be more innocent people drawn into this conflagration? And more people will get burned! Word!
    I know with her it's like talking to a thick brick wall, but see what you can do anyway? If she let's me be on her turf, I won't have to soil yours? It's that simple guy?
    So you like famous quotes huh? I didn't think that one from old Abe applies to me, on account I'm such a genius and all around fascinating individual! But modesty doesn't allow me to speak any further. So here is my favorite. " Yea, though I walk through the valley, in the shadow of death. I will fear no evil, because I'm the BIGGEST BASTARD in the valley" ! (Wink)

Now let me see if I understand this are trying to use intimidation and threats of "sh*tting on other people's blogs", to use your own words, if TheLilFondler "doesn't get off her high horse"...interesting.

First of all, I don't know the young lady in question that well, I only know her through the blogs. Secondly, if this is your way of trying to impress people and win friends, I wish you luck...because I forsee a hard road in front of you....if you follow this course of action. Third...why do you hide behind a false picture? Honesty would probably go a lot further than what you're doing now.

A suggestion....why don't you create a blog of your own....and say what you want to say, when you want to say it? Think about it....

Do as you will...but since you are fond of famous quotes...remember this one:

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

TheLilFondler 33F
2576 posts
6/5/2006 10:38 pm

*climbs out from under the table quietly and speaks in a low tone.....

no one can comment on my blog and i will make no more posts to it either... it is dead now... now if you please be so kind as to leave me alone i would appreciate it... i will leave you alone if you leave me alone...

*quietly returns to her safe spot

i lost my virginity years ago.....
but i still have the box.....

Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/6/2006 3:47 am:
Please...whatever you do...don't stop blogging...don't let anyone keep you from saying what you want to say.....

Nightguy_1961 55M
4866 posts
6/6/2006 3:45 am

    Quoting TheLilFondler:
    *returns to her spot under the table quietly looking at the floor....

    i am sorry NG
You have nothing to apologize for....I'm used to me.

wickedeasy 66F  
25470 posts
6/6/2006 6:47 am

if i may

stalking someone is not loving someone and calling yourself someone's Master does not make it so

get a life young man - NO does mean NO



You cannot conceive the many without the one.

Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/6/2006 9:30 pm:
You know it....I know it....everybody knows it......except him....

Don't let it bug you, my friend....things are in motion even as we speak

ohcurious14 59M
1683 posts
6/6/2006 7:12 am

Geez NG, What in the hell did you do to deserve this attack from lickmyballstom??

Great quotes as well.

Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/6/2006 9:32 pm:
Don't worry about it, mi amigo...remember Age & treachery will always overcome youth & skill

and I'm a most treacherous bastard....just ask MasterDragon6494....oh yeah, that's right, you can't ask him.....he has been banned from both this site and alt...

gee...wonder how that happened?

TheLilFondler 33F
2576 posts
6/6/2006 8:20 am

    Quoting ohcurious14:
    Geez NG, What in the hell did you do to deserve this attack from lickmyballstom??

    Great quotes as well.
he is attacking NG because i turned posting off on my blog and i post here often...

i lost my virginity years ago.....
but i still have the box.....

Shameless_Biotch 48F

6/6/2006 1:57 pm

Wow.....that guy lickmyballs has so much anger, I would never feel safe even with a safe word.....I appreciate your reactions, though, NG61, it tells me alot about have given a vent but you have tried to calm the waters, and not be directly involved...tricky tightrope to walk, my friend....


I have been very interested in trying BDSM activities for some time now, and I have been taking it slow, using interview techniques,gathering info from many different sources, doing research... not just "jumping in with both feet " as I am famous for doing, and it has all finally paid off..I have found a friend whom I can trust to take me to those places where even totally restrained and helpless, I know "No means No" ...and where heights of sensation can be reached if I will only "let go" and go with it!

***How awesome to find out you can have an orgasm just by being spanked correctly!***

Thank you, NG61, for providing a safe space to blog about this fascinating and stimulating lifestyle....I will be watching for future posts!
*spank me!*


Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/6/2006 9:36 pm:
I don't worry about the angry young man, neither should Paul said, "When I was a child, I spoke as a child....but when I became a man, I put away childish things...". He will....someday.

As to your response, I am pleased that you have found that one person who can take you to such heights. There is much more, however, than just the spankings...I hope the two of you will explore those areas as well....

TheLilFondler 33F
2576 posts
6/6/2006 5:57 pm

*comes out from under the table*

first off just because you gave me an order doesnt mean i have to listen to it... the beauty of free will is i can do what i want especially when it has to do with MY blog... as for me being submissive you can accept it or not... but i am far from a door mat submissive... i will not let you walk all over me because i submit to one Man... that isnt how it works... and He does not even walk all over me... your thought on the issue are rather clouded and you are too close minded to fully understand it... but as i have always said i will do as i choose to... i dont have to bow down to you and leave my husband for you as you think i should... i would not feel safe living with you and sure as fuck wouldnt feel safe with my child being any where near you... now if you will please drop it and leave me alone i would greatly appreciate it... because all your doing in your attempts to make me look bad is make yourself look like a fool for acting as you have... i am sure everyone here would rather not know the gory details about why my blog has died now thank you and please have a nice day

*returns to her spot under her table

i lost my virginity years ago.....
but i still have the box.....

TheLilFondler 33F
2576 posts
6/6/2006 8:29 pm

please leave me alone before i go to the police...

to NG again i am sorry this bled over to Your blog... i really wasnt trying to make anyones blog a battlefeild... i was trying to handle it quietly and he just wont let me do so... *bows her head and retreats under the table*

i lost my virginity years ago.....
but i still have the box.....

Nightguy_1961 55M
4866 posts
6/6/2006 9:08 pm

    Quoting TheLilFondler:
    please leave me alone before i go to the police...

    to NG again i am sorry this bled over to Your blog... i really wasnt trying to make anyones blog a battlefeild... i was trying to handle it quietly and he just wont let me do so... *bows her head and retreats under the table* I've stated before, you have done nothing wrong as far as I or my friends are concerned. The evidence speaks for itself....that is why I left his comments up and have not banned him from my blog. His words cannot hurt me, nor any of my friends, including you.

Now what does concern me is the implied meaning to come find you in real time. This, in my opinion, is crossing the line and action should be taken. We have a network set up for information when two lifestylers are meeting for the first time in real time...we can find out all about the people involved...FYI.

The machinery has been put into place to get to the bottom of are not alone, remember that. All you need to do is click one button.....


Nightguy_1961 55M
4866 posts
6/6/2006 9:21 pm

    Quoting lickmyballstom:
    Replying to WickedEasy, " NO " you may fucking not! This is a private matter between the demented litte princess and myself. And I'm not attacking NG, not anymore anyway. He's kind enough to let me post my responses to my paramour. And the rest of this is addressed to the little one.
    See what you did?! You carried our personal shit out into the public again?! Just like I told you not to?! Yeah, you make a great submissive alright?! (hint of sarcasm) Why, don't you unblock the postings to your blog so we can go home and argue there like we always do. Wouldn't you feel better that way? Of course you would! The whole problem between you and I, is that you never listen to me? You would rather take orders from a balless wimp( your husband) or some cowardly weasel jackass low life, and call him " Master "? But, me? A smart, accomplished successful " MAN "? You want to run away from and tell him to " fuck off "?! Why, so you can wallow around in the mud with a bunch of shit bags? I think not!!!Are you out of you out your demented little munchkin mind? Oh, yeah, I forgot that's a retorical question isn't it? (that means self answering)
    You want to know what's going to " please " me? When I have your " Master " by his hand and I'm applying pressure to the lock I have it in and he's on his knees with his arm hyperextended, crying like a little bitch and begging me to stop. And you'll be there begging me too.(incidently, it won't be the first time I woman complained I was being too hard on her pussy? LOL! wink) Word!
    Now, what I want to know now from you baby, is? When are you going to get with the program and start listening to me? And don't say" never "! I don't want to hear that! I mean it!
    Love my girl!

First off, do not even think to speak to wickedeasy in the tone you're implying. She is my friend in real time, as well as the friend of many on this site. Best advice: leave her alone; she has as much right to comment, quote, whatever you do.

Second....if the young lady has told you no, let it go. All you are doing is giving yourself the reputation as a stalker and this what you want? Do you?

Third....From following the chronological order of this incident, the young lady did not bring this out in did.

Fourth...I did not ban you out of kindness, far from it. I just merely was giving you enough rope to hang yourself. Every comment, every quote, every word you've said...has been copied, pasted, and sent to the monitors of this friendly site.

Mermaidslut 49F

6/7/2006 9:49 am


*ahem*, now that I have your attention Tom,
speaking submissivley of course, I would like to remind you that
the beauty of a submissive is in the power they GRANT to the person they submit to, it is not the other way around.

For example, you are hoping to find a submissive that will submit to licking your balls, right??

Do you not have to TRUST them in such a delicate situation?

Is it in your best interest, to force anyone to lick your balls?

I know, that if you tried to FORCE me, to submit to you, yor balls would be mine. In more ways then one. In fact, I might even chose to swallow them..... so don't tempt me, please.

::::licking my lips::::

behind me.....

Now, I wonder what would be good to drink, to wash them down with... maybe a glass of champagne, to get the taste of blood out of my mouth.

Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/7/2006 10:02 pm:
*looks with quiet admiration at Mermaidslut*

No wonder the Indians turned over their prisoners to the women of the tribe.....damn!!!!

My compliments...except for one chew off a pair, he'd have to grow a pair first.....

Bladesong 40F
476 posts
6/7/2006 11:38 am

Thank you NG for another great post. I have been in the BDSM scene for a long time and would love to help people understand it but can never be as eloquent as you are. So I will keep coming to your blog and making comments to try and help people as well.

I agree with your points for SSC and Rack definitions. However, one thing that I have found though is that SSC for one person is not necessarily the same SSC for someone else. That is often why contracts are signed when a BDSM scene occurs. This helps the people involved in the scene make sure they are on the same page. This also outlines the borders of the Safe Sane and Consensual on both ends and draws the hard lines as long as the contract is laid out properly.

Also along with SSC and Rack is that each individual has to protect themselves. When you take that risk on you have to know how to protect yourself. Just like when you go hang gliding you have to know how your equipment work and the safest ways to go aabout and doing the hang gliding. BDSM works the same way. Before you jump into it you need to know what your dealing with and the best way to protect yourself and those that participate with you. Contracts are good for this along with safety nets set up on first encounters. Often times though people forget about this or get too wrapped up in the Scene or forget to take care of themselves #1. I am not saying that there aren't abusers or people who also manipulate people or the system I am just saying that just like with life you have to be careful in a BDSM event/scene.

~It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved!

Be Good to those around you!


Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/7/2006 10:04 pm:

Granted, SSC for one might be vastly different for another. I agree that written contracts are very useful, along with likes/dislikes checklists...for both parties.

Negotiate, negotiate, negotiate....the key to what we do...

Thank you so very much for your comment.....

ButteryDelight 58F

6/7/2006 12:32 pm

* shakes her head in disbelief. * wonders if we are in the 7th grade again. Then, *clears throat. a new person to BDSM I don't know quite what to say. I do think lickmyballstom was rude and way out of line. What lilfondler does or doesn't do is one of his business.

Now to comment about your post ngguy. I have found your posts and your blog to be very informative and extremely helpful. I am glad that you write about these things and I thank you for writing.

Buttery Delight

Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/7/2006 10:05 pm:
Don't worry about him....his time is running out on this site....

I am pleased that you find my post informative...I hope I can continue to do so....

wickedeasy 66F  
25470 posts
6/7/2006 5:45 pm

spits and kicks the silly mess to the curb

You cannot conceive the many without the one.

Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/7/2006 10:33 pm:
uh oh....

if wicked ain't happy, ain't NOBODY happy!!!!!

RevJoseyWales 69M/66F
14393 posts
6/7/2006 6:11 pm

    Quoting lickmyballstom:
    Yeah, Right! Blah, blah, blah! And if my Aunt had a dick, she'd be my Uncle! LOL! Look, even before I got here and read this stuff, I realized I over reacted again?! I apologise for my insolence and rudeness to Wickedeasy, TheLilfondler and Night Guy 1961. I'm not going to cause anyone any problems. Not because I can't ( Lord knows I have the capablity ) but because it would be wrong! " I'm Sorry " There! Are you all happy now?! And no; I'm not worried about being exposed, or blocked, or arrested? I believe M.C. Hammer said it best once " Can't Touch This "!!! LOL!
    The little one just pushed my buttons again and caused me to fly into an irrational rage. I know, I need to work on my anger issues? I see how you're all cirlcling the wagons and trying to support and protect her, but did any of you really understand what she said in her last post to me? She implied that I would be a danger or a threat to her child?! That is really hitting below the belt! She has no evidence of that! So why say it! To smear me and make me look like an evil creep and herself more angelic? That's why! And anyway, it brings me to my main point I've been stewing about with her for a while now. You see how she was saying that she would never " submit " to my will, but that she will " submit " to someone elses by her own " free will "? Oh, I get it now?! If someone would ever hold " actual " power over her ass? That is definately NOT cool! But, she'll pretend to submit to someone if she " likes " them! How ridiculous is that? She says she wouldn't feel safe living with me. What she's really saying is she wouldn't feel safe running around with other men and living with me! And she's partially right, The " other men " are certainly not safe doing that! LOL! And I would put a stop to that imediately. But I would in no way physically harm her, ever. But, for her, being forced to be a responsible adult and be true and loyal to someone. In her way of thinking, that would be a form of abuse? LOL! And, then she throws her daughter up in my face as another example of why she shouldn't listen to me. First of all, if her daughter ever was a factor in any of her decesions or choices she makes? She wouldn't be living and behaving as she does. She puts her daugthers well being in jeopardy everytime she meets someone new for a date. Either by endangering her life by exposing her to a potential pedophile or if she is murdered by them? Her daughter becomes an orphan? So lets all give the Lilfondler a " Mother of the year " award! And you can all line up and have a swing at me the BIG BAD WOLF, why don't we??!!!! When it comes to TheLilfondler, ( I could use her real name if I wanted to, but I wouldn't be so mean)It isn't about what's right or best intrests for someone else? It's about what " she " wants to do! And everything else is incidentle! If she as to whore sympathy from you bunch of dolts to get rid of someone making her face an inconvenient truth? So be it!
    She once said that she would " never " kiss my feet! And if I knew she was abusing her daughter by her lifestyle choices, and she was trying to get away with it by chasing me away by using all her friends sympathy and means at her disposal? Guess what else would " never " happen?! LOL! Not only would she be held accountable, I would personally be there when they made the collar. Word!
    Oh, Night Guy, you have some intel that you and your friends like to share, uh? Well, just pray I never share all the intel I have on all of you?! LOL! Goddamn, I'm just to damn funny sometimes!!! Now copy and print this bitch for me, would you be so kind?! LOL!

If I may, NG, I'd like to invite this individual over to my blog for some further discussion. And, if he's really going to be in Fondler's area, I'm not that far down the road, and would dearly love to make his aquaintence. Perhaps he could make a side trip? Sorry to interrupt, you have a really nice place here. Joe

"McVeigh had the right idea, wrong address."

"This ain't Dodge City, and you ain't Bill Hickok."

Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/7/2006 10:32 pm:
Don't even bother to get out of the hot tub....stay and enjoy yourselves....and thank you......

TheLilFondler 33F
2576 posts
6/7/2006 6:53 pm

ok you say i throw you into "irrational rages" which is your words not mine... now lets say hypothetically that i did move into your home... a couple monthes go by and we get into a bad fight... i wind up saying or doing something that throws you into one of those rages... how do i know you wouldnt hurt me badly or kill me? this is the best way i know to explain why i wouldnt put myself in that situation... and lets go a little further... if ya didnt kill me when i got out of the hospital you would say i am sorry but you shouldnt have said or done that... i promise it wont happen again... then a few more monthes down the road i do something that sets you off again and BAM i get hurt again... been there done that and refuse to put myself in that position again... do you know what it feels like to have your ankle snapped in 3 places because you accidently made a noise while taking a drink? i do and wont live that again... and he acted the same way you do... now i am not saying your abusive in real life but the pattern of your posts leads me to believe you are and that is why i dont care to ever have anything with you... as i have said i wouldnt feel safe ever... and i refuse to be put thro that again... i am sorry if that offends or upsets you but that is the reality of it... you can either accept it or not... that is your choice but remember karma is a bitch when ya piss her off so becareful sweetie... now please try to have a ncie day

i lost my virginity years ago.....
but i still have the box.....

Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/7/2006 10:32 pm:
Well said....I am proud of the way you stood up for yourself.....

Mermaidslut 49F

6/7/2006 7:24 pm


You make an interesting point about her child. Of course, you are not the childs Father, and have no business telling her what is or is not safe for that child. If YOU truly felt otherwise, I should hope you would have gone to the proper authorities. It is not appropriate that you tried to slander her in a public manner that she has no way to defend. Shame on you, you disturbed little man.

What you convienently forget to say, is how her being around YOU endangers that child. How her being around somoene as anger challanged as you, puts that child in danger - as witnessed by the very activity on this board (whether you claim it is abusive or not)

I respect her. Herstanding up to YOU, stating she will not submit to YOU. Yet you take personally, because you somehow feel you have the authority to judge whom she does feel safe around. Obviously, several others on this board feel YOU are the threat here. Not her.

Pack up your verbal abuse, go look yourself in the mirror now that you have had some time to coll down.... and seriously ask yourself why you can't get no satisfaction.

Ask yourself, why you feel so desperate you must hunt down someone, stalking them, in public, who is publicly telling you she would rather be anywhere else, with anyone else but YOU.

you need a spankie

.. for being such a bad boy... shame on you!

maybe you will be so lucky as to find somoene who will teach you to curb your impulses of scaring away those playmates who once found you so inviting.....

Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/7/2006 10:31 pm:

I have put this at an my final quote to him, if you don't mind.....and thank you for looking out for the young lady....

MaggiesWishes 59F

6/7/2006 7:43 pm

Stumped, confused and totally dismayed.
My warm wishes are sent to hug the hearts that hurt.

Dark One, You never cease to amaze me with your insightfullness and educational words that fit the puzzle so nicely.

Nods ... somethings just never make sense. Ya know?
warm huggies 2ya & the Lady

Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/7/2006 10:30 pm:
Bright One,

Your presense always brings a smile to my face...thank you...

Warm hugs to the Bright One.....

Nightguy_1961 55M
4866 posts
6/7/2006 10:25 pm

    Quoting lickmyballstom:
    "quod me nutrit me destuit"."What nourishes me also destroys me" -

    Baby,.......Remember what I said about " transference " Associating me with other abusive men you have known in the past? And you still try to claim " I don't know you "? I think the evidence is quite clear I " know " you all too well?!
    Let's not say " hypothetically "? Let's say you " move in with me " end of discussion! LOL! Well, I do admit I have had a temper now and then. And I have broken some bones in other people over the years ( but everyone of those motherfuckers had it coming!!!) But, in my defense. My ex tried to murder me and collect on an insurance policy. And I never beat her ass?! And everyone said I should have! I never knew my minister had that side to him? LOL! That's a joke! Well, actually, I was going to do something, but my best friend talked me out of it! Said I wouldn't like it in prison. And besides he wouldn't give me my goddamn bullets back! LOL! That's a joke too, I mean about me not liking prison? LOL!
    But seriously, baby, despite your past abusive relationships you have endured. That in no way implies that I would treat you that way. If there was a problem that was serious enough to generate that kind of anger in me? We would have to seek counseling for that. Because, you are correct in that if I were to just get angry at you all the time for something, even if I didn't physically harm you, there is a serious problem that must be addressed here? And fighting and arguing with one another is no solution. Now, does that make you feel better about me? I hope it does?
    I'm sorry to hear about your ankle. After were together, I'll go find that guy and snap " him " in three places. Then, " I'll " go have a drink! LOL! Holla! Besides, you're not giving me a fair shake, because you got mixed up with mister wrong, first! And now I have to pay " His " debts? And that ain't right!
    I don't worry about " karma "? I was dead once, I found it " liberating " LOL!

I have read and re-read your comments...and I see a pattern. You go from one sentence saying that you're not a bad guy and you didn't mean to cause problems...then in the next few phrases, you are in quite a rage, spouting how 'violent' you are and what you'll do to LilFondler's significant other, people here on the blogs, and others.

You have a problem, young man... You show all the classic signs of a serious mental problem and I urge you to get help soon. I would suggest you do a search for bipolar disorder because you show some of the symptoms in your writing: mood swings, irritability, delusions of granduer. My concern is when you hit the downswing of this pendulum...which can be catastrophic.

LilFondler has said no and to leave her alone...leave it at that. You call yourself a 'master'...but you show no mastery of your own self. Before you could even begin to be trusted with the submission of anyone, you have to get help. I don't know of anyone who would even think about meeting with you after all this, much less letting themselves get into a BDSM situation with you. You are out of control.

I see that your picture is gone....I figured as much. People relayed to me that they had complained to this site about your illegal use of a celebrity's picture. You obviously did not read my post Just a friendly should read what people say about you. One person even said that you've done this before on his a woman. That's sad, very sad.

Do you hear that? That's the sound of the bloggers in Blogville....laughing at you. You don't intimidate amuse them. You say you have intel on all of all means, use it. If you see my profile, you'll see the checkmark. This means I have been verified by this site...meaning the only false thing on my profile is my handle, Nightguy_1961. What's in your profile...the Battle Hymn of the Republic? That's sad, very sad...unless you plan on meeting up with a female abolitionist.

I gave you a chance to try to clean your act up, but even my patience grows thin after all this. This post was about information about the BDSM lifestyle, but you've turned it into your own little sandbox where you could jump around in your little shorty pants and throw a temper tantrum. I don't have time to deal with, once again, you are hereby banned. But I strongly urge you to seek some help...because you're fast approaching a serious burnout.


Nightguy_1961 55M
4866 posts
6/7/2006 10:35 pm


Well, here's to hoping that we can make that happen someday....

rm_kalanchoe88 54F

6/7/2006 10:58 pm

In my experience with the obsessed and abusive, I was told that even the smallest contact fed their anger and obsession. That the only way to stay safe was to end all contact (even third parties mentioning me or the situation to him). Maybe we could try ignoring "Tom", and refusing to pass on any information to him. Of course, still taking action in the real world to limit any threats. Just a suggestion.

Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/7/2006 11:48 pm:
He just needs to be shut down...that would be a first good step...then he should be identified so people will watch out for him...imho

Thanks and welcome to the Fortress....

Mermaidslut 49F

6/7/2006 11:18 pm

:::nods head to NG:::

Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/7/2006 11:49 pm:
*tips his hat to the lady*

libgemOH 56M/52F

6/8/2006 4:06 am

As a former victim of this type of intimidation, just like lil fondler, thank you! -B

RevJoseyWales 69M/66F
14393 posts
6/8/2006 7:48 am

I have reported this slime to AdultFriendFinder, as I hope many others have done. It's a small thing, but a start. There should be much appreciation to NG for the way he handled this. It is just a shame a real life soulution can't be obtained. It would be most satisfying, and relieving to Lilfondler, who derserved none of this. It is safe to come out from under the table now, if your true master permits. Joe

"McVeigh had the right idea, wrong address."

"This ain't Dodge City, and you ain't Bill Hickok."


6/9/2006 12:48 am

Looking at NG with deep admiration and respect...oh and wet panties.

Btw...mermaid too

just a squirrel trying to get a nut

PurplePeach72 44F  
9199 posts
6/9/2006 5:43 am

NightGuy you have the patience & wisdom of a saint, and I admire you greatly.

Your orginal post was great, educational, and entertaining all at once and it is the reason I keep coming back for more. Eventually, I'll get the nerve and $ up to go get my training session, but for now I am your avid pupil. Thanks for taking the time to try and educate the ignorant and protecting the weak.

I'm not so sure I have the patience or self-control needed to deal with idiots like the ones that show up here from time to time.

God Bless you!


shar1 55F
606 posts
6/11/2006 8:18 am

Thank you again for an honest, sane and informative insight into BDSM, hope you don't mind that I reccomend this to a few people.

Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/11/2006 10:19 am:
Not at all....please, be my guest...sorry about the child having a temper tantrum in my blog...hope it didn't disturb you too much...

rm_daveman45nz 56M
42 posts
6/12/2006 3:46 am


I have been very busy as of late, but I just wanted to say I agree with the way you have handled lilfondlers interests. She is a good person who deserves good friends.



rm_CuummDrop 48F
2591 posts
6/12/2006 8:32 am

Holy Hell...! Sorry NG, that Your're blog is going thru this...

Standing with You and the Oother's...

Now won't last forever, so use it wisely~c

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