Prof. Night's Guide to the different 'types' who enter the basement.  

Nightguy_1961 55M
3324 posts
1/15/2006 11:13 pm

Last Read:
3/19/2006 11:22 pm

Prof. Night's Guide to the different 'types' who enter the basement.

After careful research with fellow basement dwellers (and a few stiff drinks at the local pub), I've come up with a list of the different types of people who come into the basement that should be avoided at all costs!!! Not only are these types hazardous to your mental health, they tend to cause headaches, grinding teeth, and the beginnings of ulcers if engaged with on a regular basis.

The 'True' cyber submissive : (homo not worthius) Usually female, this type will wait until given permission to enter the basement (usually on their knees). They don't participate in a conversation unless asked directly. Protocol is not only a must, it is a way of do otherwise would cause the world as we know it to fall off its axis and tumble into the sun.

The I'm opposite of whatever you are(homos switcheroous): Usually male, this person has no clue about bdsm; if the lady is a Dominant, then he's a submissive. If it's a submissive lady, lo and behold! He's a Dom. Tragically, this constant switching back and forth leads to some found years later sitting in the corner, muttering to themselves, "I'm a Pepper, you're a Pepper..wouldn't you like to be a Pepper too?" So sad.

The bot (cashius machineaux): Not even human, this 'person' comes in and invites all those in the room to come to there website for 'hot webcam fun or chat'. More than likely, it's a reject from the latest Revenge of the Nerds movie who's found a quick scheme to part a fool from their money. Go to the website at your own risk...just be sure to have a platinum AX card.

The "WOW..LOOK AT THE TITS!!! person (homo spankus monkius) Usually male (hmmmm...I'm seeing a pattern here), this person is only in the room because a picture on his home page showed a pair of huge bazongas or a lush gluteus maximus. He will zoom in the room like a whirlwind and try everything in his power to get that lady's attention. Only known cure is to hit them with an iggy so hard, God blinks.

The "I've got a (particular size body part)" person (homo biggus in their mindus) Can be either male or female, this person comes in talking about a particular part of their anatomy, and how 'satisfied' we would be if we were to partake of his/her endowments. Chances are, the only breathtaking part of their anatomy is their over-inflated ego. No known cure...just be sure to wash your hands afterwards.

The "Gotta cam?" person (homo webcamus) Male or female, this person NEEDS you to dominate/submit to them, but only if you do it on cam. This person's ultimate fantasy: To be dominated by R2D2.

The "Pseudo newbie" (homo fakeus) Usually male, this type comes in, professing to be new to the room and looking for a woman to 'help' him learn how things are done. Tough to distinguish from the true newbie, what gives them away is that you recognize the name from the 1 millionth time they've come in the room...and used the same line.

And finally, my personal favorite:

The "IAMMASTEROFALLWORSHIPMEORIWILLKICKYOURASS!!!" (homo fullofbssus) This is the person who comes in and demands respect. After all, his name is capitalized, and he has either "Master" or "Sir" in his handle, so he MUST be a Dominant. If one dares to disagree with him, then the offender is labeled a moron, newbie, whore, etc. No need to even try to deal with this one, they are locked up in their own cyber reality in which they are God and all others exist to serve them.

Understand, the above was done very much tongue-in-cheek, with a dose of cynicism thrown in for good measure. If someone is still offended, then my advise is to get a life...this is all make believe anyway.

NG...sitting here LMAO at the fakers and poser in the cyber realm.

wickedeasy 66F  
25338 posts
1/20/2006 9:18 am

i am laughing so hard right now, i can't breathe - a brilliant piece of writing and so damn true -

that's why it becomes impossible for some to stay in the basement - and it worries me that the ones tht leave are the very ones i'd like to know

to all you posers and wannabes - this Man, NightGuy - is the real thang - look closely - observe well - and then, leave please

sends an enormous hug of appreciation to NG for calling it like it is

and for making me laugh


You cannot conceive the many without the one.

rm_ashara 58F
16 posts
1/20/2006 9:55 am

I have never read a blog before let alone post a reply. Truly insightful and gave me a good laugh to boot. Even in my short time in the basement I can name names to fit and also recognize their clones/brothers/sisters from other sites.
As in any chat room, I keep a bag with huge grains of salt beside me and apply liberally to most of the chat.
Thanks for the laugh today and your good humour in the room.

rm_DJSpin1000 59M
18 posts
1/23/2006 3:21 am

NG, right on the mark and hysterically funny, sadly there seems a never ending supply of the aforementioned types. ^5 to NG

wideglide1966 50M/40F

1/27/2006 10:42 pm

right on NG that was some of the best reading ive seen in quite a while

BadAssBlonde1 56F
4989 posts
2/1/2006 1:18 am

Fine read, NG. Darlin' that was write to the point! I do adore those snips *W*

For all Time,
Lady Hunter - Tippin' Over laughin'

Now where did I put that chainsaw? I forsee Renovations.

After all the sex is gone, there is the mind - Lady Hunter / BAB

Copyright © House of Lady Hunter 1998-2009

rm_jacina_n 43F
91 posts
2/8/2006 4:07 am

Was the funniest blog this one has ever read Sir. More so for being so acurate.

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