My look back on Father's Day  

Nightguy_1961 55M
3324 posts
6/19/2006 12:10 am

Last Read:
6/19/2006 11:30 pm

My look back on Father's Day

As I post this, Father's Day has come and gone.

I hope all of you had a chance to spend time with your Father or could take the time to remember them if they have passed on from this plane of existence.

I am fortunate that I still have my old man with me. Granted, we have butted heads over the years, but I think now we have a great relationship. We live less than 6 miles from each other, and we talk on the phone when we can. Granted, he lost a little in his step, but he can still make you tremble when he walks the floor. He has always been willing to lend a hand to anyone who needed it, and I've always admired him for that.

He was working double shifts during the time I was born. My mom says that she woke me up one time, when I was about three years old...just so I could see him at least once during a three week period when he was busting his hump working at the paper mill.

During my travels, I didn't keep in touch with him like maybe I should have. Everytime I hear this song, it tends to remind me of what it's like when you don't touch base with your loved ones.


Cat's In The Cradle
Harry Chapin

A child arrived just the other day.
He came into the world in the usual way,
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay.
He learned to walk while I was away.
And he was talking before I knew it
And as he grew,
He'd say, "I'm gonna be like you, Dad.
You know I'm gonna be like you."

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
When you coming home, Dad?
I don't know when,
But we'll get together then.
You know we'll have a good time then.

My son turned ten just the other day,
He said "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play."
"Can you teach me to throw?"
I said, "Not today, I got a lot to do."
He said, "That's OK"
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed, and said,
"I'm gonna be like him, yeah,
You know I'm gonna be like him."

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
When you comin' home, Dad?
I don't know when,
But we'll get together then.
You know we'll have a good time then.

Well he came from college just the other day,
So much like a man I just had to say,
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while??" He shook his head and he said with a smile,
"What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys.
See you later, can I have them please??"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
When you comin' home, Son?
I don't know when,
But we'll get together then, Dad.
You know we'll have a good time then.

I've long since retired, my son's moved away.
I called him up just the other day.
I said "I'd like to see you if you don't mind." He said "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time."
"You see my new job's a hassle and the kids have the flu,
But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad.
It's been sure nice talking to you."

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me,
He'd grown up just like me.
My boy was just like me.

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
When you comin' home, Son?
I don't know when,
But we'll get together then, Dad.
We're gonna have a good time then.


My lady worries about me during this time of year. I lost my youngest son, due to a vindictive bitch and a sympathetic court. My oldest son & I haven't spoken civilly in several months now, so Father's Day could be just another day for me.

Except...

I have two exceptional stepsons who make it a point to call or come by to wish me a Happy Father's Day. They don't have to, because I came into their lives late.

But like yesterday for example, my youngest stepson called me at work around 7am...just to wish me 'A Happy Daddy's Day'. This Father's Day is special for him...for his first born came into the world in February of this year. My oldest stepson (brain dead, for those of you who remember him from earlier posts) wished me a Happy Father's Day just before I left for work.

So, how do I feel? I am a little down that my own blood doesn't or can't even speak to me; but I am uplifted by the fact that two fine young men, who could tell me to pound sand, regard me enough as a Dad that they wish me a great day each time this year.

So, a belated Happy Father's Day to all of you dads out there...and also to the Moms who have to be both Mom & Dad.

Later...

©NG61 2006



MamChelle 48F  
1443 posts
6/19/2006 12:16 am

an appropriate song...and glad You had a good fathers day...*hugs* c


Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/19/2006 12:47 am:
chelle,

It was strange...I heard that song on the way home Sunday morning...and the idea of the post started in my head...

Thanks....

GoddessOfTheDawn 105F
11240 posts
6/19/2006 12:46 am


~ nodz ~ in agreement with MamChelle




Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/19/2006 1:03 am:
GOTD,

Thank you...as always, it is a pleasure when you stop in for a visit

VTLakesideVixen 60F
458 posts
6/19/2006 3:14 am

Happy belated Father's Day, NG! Proudly wear your title of Dad--regardless of what has happened in the past, time has a way of healing us--and the goodness that you gave your youngest son when you
helped create him will yearn to reunite with its source--you NG.
The very fact that your stepsons see fit to take the time out of their lives to wish you well especially at this time of the year just proves what I said--goodness knows its own-even if not of its
own blood.


Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/19/2006 3:42 am:
Thank you VT...I appreciate that...

As I told another blogger in another post, "Time mends...but never heals a wounded heart. That's why we are so cautious about opening our hearts to others..."

Thanks again...

mycin62 54F

6/19/2006 3:21 am

I hope that you had a great day on Father's Day!! Remember, it doesn't always have to be "blood" to make a father. My own husband is more of a father to my two children then their own father and they know it and appreciate him for it. I know they go thru the motions for the "real" one, but their feelings are for my husband, they know who's been there for them all along and sounds like your step sons know that too.

Also, cherish the time you have with your dad NOW, you never know when he'll be taken away from you. I lost my dad when I was 27, and I'm your age now. Not a day goes by that I don't miss him, and still when I hear a song that reminds me of him, I cry.


Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/19/2006 3:47 am:
mycin, thank you

Well, there were some bumps along the way between me and my stepsons...but we've gotten through that...I hope...

Thank you for your comment....

angelofmercy5 59F
17881 posts
6/19/2006 3:30 am

That song has alot of meaning to many of us. Just reading the words I can hear it. I wish things could be different with your biological son....but thank God for the stepsons that love and honor you the way you deserve to be honored.


Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/19/2006 3:48 am:
angel,

I've always liked Harry's music...talk about a story teller with music....

Thank you..... Two days and counting.....

tillerbabe 56F

6/19/2006 3:31 am

Beautiful post NG...me thinks that one day your biological son and you will reunite, have faith in that..miracles happen in the most strange and unexpected wayzzz...


Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/19/2006 3:50 am:
My dearest tiller,

You don't know how glad I am to see you back here for a visit to the Fortress...you have been missed so much *wraps his cloak around her and hugs her gently*

I keep hoping that in about 10 years, he'll come looking for me...to meet his dad....

Thanks...and we're still burning a candle for Brian....

All our love to you

ohcurious14 59M
1683 posts
6/19/2006 4:00 am

I too consider this, a day i'd just assume come and go, for I have the same situation NG. For the 2nd year now, Father's Day was without a phone call from my kids. They have been shielded from the truth considering why I left my marriage and choose to only hear one side of the story.I lost my Father 4 years ago to Prostate Cancer so I only have some memories to get me thru the day. Your tribute to your father was very touching and definately appreciated by me.


Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/19/2006 11:07 pm:
OC,

It has gotten easier as time has gone on, but the hurt is still there every year at this time....

but we will survive...in the words of the Dead

Thanks....

libgemOH 56M/52F

6/19/2006 4:04 am

L, Happy Father's Day to you! For you, whether or not the honor occurs and no matter the source, it is deserved! -B


Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/19/2006 11:08 pm:
Thanks B

PurplePeach72 44F  
9199 posts
6/19/2006 4:47 am

Happy Father's Day!
I love this song, and it has special meaning to me as well. I think a lot of us here have estranged blood and that hurt never goes away, but we are here to help sooth the wounds and offer our empathy. Things have a way of working themselves out, and I pray it will be so woth you and your bilogical sons.
Hugs,
{=}LeeAnn


Kisses,
LA


Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/19/2006 11:11 pm:
Thanks you two

My lady keeps telling me things will work out eventually....well, here's to hoping....

Thanks again.....

lacenleather2 105F
159 posts
6/19/2006 5:29 am

Oh my .Fathers day has come and gone , and I did get a wish from my son as I am both to him .I encouraged him to call his father, but I doubt that he did.I didnt call mine , havent spoken in about 5 yrs , and I didnt give it a second thought .However, here I am in tears and I guess that the distance is not as deep as I thought it was .So perhaps I will call and steel myself against his downfalls (alchol).
Happy Belated Fathers Day NG, I am glad that you heard that from stepsons, and hope that time brings your own blood kin closer.
lacen


Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/19/2006 11:13 pm:
lace,

I didn't mean to make you cry; far from it. I was trying to say that even when it seems like a bad day, something can make you look at it in a different light.

And yes, even though we think we're tough...the hurt still sneaks up and jumps us from behind...

*gentle hugs* Thanks

rm_1sexyroo 56M/56F
333 posts
6/19/2006 6:24 am

Dude I can so relate to how you feel. I don't really have a relationship with my father , I called the old freak well actually my two youngest called and were on the phone when I got home from work ( night shifts ) I told him happy fathers day , his response was that he needed to hang up so my younger brother could call ??? WTF anyway , haven't heard from the other 6 kids I have but the munkins I have at home were sure glad to see me , kinda got me to thinkin about what my kids will say about me when I am gone ??? I guess I just think too freakin much some daze.
I am glad that your "step" kids make you feel appreciated , I have found out the hard way ( 4 steps and 4 biological) kids are kids and I love em all as if they were my own and thats all that matters to me.
I guess what I am trying to say is that you have two wonderful sons who worship you be proud of them and hold them close and let their love help you to deal with the rest It works for me


Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/19/2006 11:14 pm:
1 sexyroo,

Never worry about what will be said after you're gone...too late to do anything about it. Now me, I plan on haunting my family, so....

Thanks for your comments, I'm glad you had a great day...and welcome to the Fortress....

ButteryDelight 58F

6/19/2006 6:28 am

Good post and good song NG. That song always makes me cry. Yet, when I look at the kind of father my husband has been to my two children I am happy that the past is not repeating itself.

I also hope your blood son chooses to renew a relationship with you before it is too late and you pass on. I will always regret that I did not see my father for 25 years and then I saw him for 15 minutes on the day that he died.


Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/19/2006 11:16 pm:
BD,

I am glad that your kids have such a man in their lives, as well as you...

My lady made sure that things were patched up between my folks and I, and I'm glad she did...

Thanks for your comments....

SmallTightKitty 57F

6/19/2006 7:28 am

I really have enjoyed reading your blogs, I find them interesting. I am sorry your blood sons have walked away from you. I have no idea how you feel about prayer but there is power in prayer so pray a little more for them, one hopefully they will return. It also seem that you and your wife have done great together for her sons love you it easy to see. Give her extra attention and praise too. She is a good woman I am sure.


Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/19/2006 11:17 pm:
SMK,

Thank you, and you're right...my lady is someone special, and I try to show her and let her know that everyday...

MWWwantsmore 51F

6/19/2006 7:32 am

That song is so true, kids grow up before you know it. My dad was not around when I was growing up. When he came around later in life I asked him why he never kept in contact. He said time just flew by and the longer it was, the harder it was to contact us. He didnt know how we would react. He still is not in my life much but he is still my dad.


Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/19/2006 11:18 pm:
MWW,

Good for you!!! I applaud you for asking the question that a lot of people wouldn't have the courage to ask. I hope that things continue to get better for both of you

TheLilFondler 33F  
2576 posts
6/19/2006 7:32 am

i wished a happy fathers day to the one that was there... i have no way to get ahold of my dad and dont know him all that well so i didnt get to call him but my step dad got the call around 5pm...

i lost my virginity years ago.....
but i still have the box.....


Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/19/2006 11:19 pm:
Little One,

Well, you are a tribute to your Dad....both of them. I hope that your biological father comes to realize that before it's too late...

Thanks...

rm_shannee2006 52F
3355 posts
6/19/2006 8:24 am

I've been witness to the pain that my husband feels about the many tradgedies he's had as a parent. It is hard to watch sometimes...but I'm always so in awe of the fact that he sets that pain aside and enjoys my son and that he's embracing the opportunity that he's had with his son in the past year or two. Father's Day wasn't purely joyful for him either because his daughter and he are estranged. I am so glad that you have your step children. My husband learned to take the joys of parenting where they came from and did his best when opportunities came with his kids. It seems like that's the best anyone can do. But I know that it doesn't make it any easier for him and I'm sure that it doesn't for you. Bless you Dad.

Yup...this juiciness is from me....

S


Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/19/2006 11:21 pm:
shannee,

You know what it is? Us guys have it drilled in our heads, "Never let them see you sweat! Keep a stiff upper lip!!! Don't cry!!! Never show your feelings, it's a sign of weakness!!!"

And people wonder why a lot of us men are drunks, drug dependent, depressed, or just plain wrecks?

Thanks and I salute your husband....

MaggiesWishes 60F

6/19/2006 10:21 am

Heart felt huggies to ya, Dark One.
I so love that song, too.

just me.


Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/19/2006 11:25 pm:
Bright One

Thanks...hugs are always welcome here at the Fortress

NGs_lady 64F
762 posts
6/19/2006 10:29 am

Thank You My Love I do know the boys think highly of you. Yes I do worry,but thats my job is it not. I know how far you have gone to make it work out with your son and I'm sorry he is the way he is. I just hope he will relize what a wonderful man he is missing.

Hugs, love and respect

NGs_lady / Lady Stee


Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/19/2006 11:26 pm:
*quiet smile*

Yes, my lady, it is your job to worry...I just wish you didn't do your job so well at times....

There is always hope for the future......

lightswitch1963 69M/53F

6/19/2006 11:50 am

I had to learn that song in school, I can't make it through it without crying. Sounds like your step children make up for your son. When I met Mr.L, I had been a single mother for years, the men in my life said she wasn't theirs....so they had no responsibility. She was 11 when we moved in. She started calling him Dad. My mother told her he was just a step, and she lit into her grandmother. I know it is different with everyone....but we don't use the word step. I'm glad you have those boys in your life.

We'll leave the light on for you.


Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/19/2006 11:28 pm:
lightswitch,

My stepsons and I use the word 'step', but it is only in conversation with strangers...we are more like friends than anything else, which is what we decided on when I first got together with their mom...

Thanks.....

HBowt2 59F

6/19/2006 12:59 pm

funny how family is not always blood.....


Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/19/2006 11:29 pm:
HBowt,

Isn't it though? There are times when I am closer to friends than to my own family, my lady an exception of course...

Thanks....

wickedeasy 67F  
26768 posts
6/19/2006 1:28 pm

eventually, children grow to adults and see the reality of their lives

and hopefully reassess who said what etc.

hang in my friend

hugs

WE

You cannot conceive the many without the one.


Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/19/2006 11:30 pm:
wicked,

Well, there's always that hope for the future...

Thanks...

Whispersoftly5 52F
15176 posts
6/19/2006 1:41 pm

This is the way it is for my step-father. He walked into our lives 9 years ago and is more of a father than I've even known in my life. We celebrate him everyday, but especially on Father's day. We are honored to have him in our lives and I expect your step sons feel the same about you. It doesn't take blood lines to be a father. If they love you enough to honor you with calls and attention you ARE their father. Descriptive terms such as step father fall meaningless in such situtations. Kisses and hugs. Whisper...


Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/19/2006 11:31 pm:
Whisper,

Well, with me coming into their lives so late, I really didn't think the bonds would be formed.

I'm happy to say I was pleasantly proven wrong with those two....

Thanks....

LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
6/19/2006 9:55 pm

That's one of my favorite songs too NG...happy belated Father's Day. Just keep in mind that things have a way of changing...so just be the man you were born to be...your "blood" may need and want that one day.

lustytaurus


Nightguy_1961 replies on 6/19/2006 11:36 pm:
Thanks LT,

You do the same...be who you are destined to be.....

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