Nightguy_1961 55M
3324 posts
3/28/2006 2:50 am

Last Read:
3/30/2006 10:00 pm


Why am I so cynical about life in general?

One of the bloggers here, barbiebunny, had a post, Tagged and 6 things....., in which the topic of cynicism was bandied about. So I thought I'd put forth my reasons for why I'm so cynical.

Cynical - (adj) 1. Denying the sincerity of people's motives or actions 2. Sarcastic, sneering, etc.

--from Webster's New World Dictionary

I didn't start out in life being a cynic. I couldn't tell you what got me started. I do know that my elementary school principal told me that I was 'the only eight year old cynic he had ever met'. So I must have started pretty young in life.

I've always been a dreamer and a romantic at heart. I grew up reading the adventures of fictional heroes like Zorro, Horatio Hornblower, King Arthur, and the like; plus, I marveled at the exploits of real heroes like Wyatt Earp, Washington, Wild Bill Hickok, Audie Murphy, and other real life heroes. I always believed that the good guys always won, while the bad guys were sent packing.

But real life doesn't work that way, I found out quickly enough. The bad guys sometimes do win...and most people don't care. I became cynical at how people don't care about things like honor, justice, fair play, and such outdated notions.

Patriotism is only used if you want to get voted into office. Honor is used only when someone knows they are under the spotlight. Justice is for those who can afford it. Religion is used as a weapon to put forth someone else’s agenda. Medical care is for those who can pay the bills.

I guess I became a card carrying cynic when I had everything taken from me, including my son...and I had my personal life dragged out for all to see. When I looked around for help and advice, I was shunned...and these same people could turn around on Sunday, sit in a pew, and sing, "Oh, What a friend we have in Jesus".

From that point on, I turned my back on the world as a whole...not daring to share my inner feelings with anyone. Years later, I was lucky enough to find my lady, someone who had been kicked around as much as I, but who still had enough love in her heart to show me that not all in the world is bad.

So now, it goes like this:

I'm cynical about those who claim they are the 'real deal' me, don't just tell me.
I'm cynical about those who are in a rush to be 'a friend'...why?
I'm cynical about people who do things for the common good...c'mon, what's the catch?


I have regained my belief that love does exist...that two people can find each other in this 'slipped & bumped it's head' world...and that the good guys still win...if they don't mind getting their hands dirty.

NG61...still wary, but not completely hard hearted as he used to be

©Nightguy_1961 2006

libgemOH 56M/52F

3/28/2006 5:14 am

REALLY good post NG. Life can and does make us cynical but it take people like your lady and my man and folks who let friendships grow and develop rather than just rushing them along to bring back faith in humanity. But a little cynicism and a "show me" attitude are always a healthy thing to have, at least for me! I'm glad your belief in love has come back to you! -B

Nightguy_1961 replies on 3/29/2006 9:01 pm:

Thank you....I've always believed it's not the years, it's the mileage that makes up a person.

NGs_lady 64F
762 posts
3/28/2006 6:04 am

Thank you for what you said. I just saw what you tried to hide; hide from so many people. You had wonderful qualities that people wouldn't look at & you wouldn't show.

Thank you for letting me see them.


Nightguy_1961 replies on 3/29/2006 9:02 pm:
My lady,

You were just too damn stubborn to give up....that's why you were able to tear down the walls.

Love you.

Babel__Fish 45F

3/28/2006 10:51 am

I really liked reading this.. and it is true to a point but I believe that IF you let the others that have harmed/hurt/used or abused you in the past to dictate your life then you become one of them. I am glad that I do not see the qualities that you have discribed in others in yourself or your posting.

Looking forward to getting to know you better.... and send my regards to NGs_lady


Ps... you are my last post of the day and one that I wanted to read before logging off

Nightguy_1961 replies on 3/29/2006 9:04 pm:

I am honored...and no, I don't let other's dictate my life; but, as I've told others....words/comments/actions can change one's outlook on life.

My lady & I look forward to getting to know you better as well.

wickedeasy 66F  
25406 posts
3/28/2006 1:41 pm

hmmm, the common good -
that's me Night - and so many others that i know and work with

and while there may be some that are forcing an agenda or working the corner, the majority of us are just trying to make life a bit more "do-able" for those that are having a hard time

i have been told i am cynical as well - and i am: about politicians, zealots of any kind, etc.

but a closed heart doesn't allow folks to enter, does it?


You cannot conceive the many without the one.

Nightguy_1961 replies on 3/29/2006 9:08 pm:
It reminds me of a scene from The Phantom of the Opera

Raoul: Have you no compassion?
Phantom: The world showed no compassion to ME!!

Experience shows if you kick a dog one too many times, the dog will either cower or learn to bite...I just gave the world a ;!; and turned my back.

But that was then....this is now. And you're right, a closed heart doesn't allow anyone entrance.

MamChelle 48F  
1443 posts
3/28/2006 4:03 pm

*smiles ...hugs...and knows change is a good thing...*for the good of Ones life* no agenda here...just friendship. c

Nightguy_1961 replies on 3/29/2006 9:09 pm:
change is always good....though some people won't like some changes

barbiebunny 36F
5597 posts
3/29/2006 1:20 am

well im glad you shared your thoughts and explored your path more Im very happy about that!!!!

Its good to be...ME

Nightguy_1961 replies on 3/29/2006 9:14 pm:

Thanks, darlin'.....for making me take a hard look at my cynicism & what causes it.

Whispersoftly5 52F
15176 posts
3/29/2006 12:19 pm

I can relate to some of what you say. I'm so glad you and your lady discovered each other. From what I've read of your blog it sure sounds as though you both bring a lot to and compliment well each other in the relationship.

I started down the path of being a cynic, but ultimately decided not to let events of the past rule my present. In other words I try very hard not to rush to conclusions about a person or situation based upon my past experiences. However, the reality is they absolutely influence my thoughts - no way around it, those experiences are a part of me - influenced my overall personal and professional development. Now I'm a lot like you in that I want somebody to show me - talk is cheep - actions mean much more.

Great post - thanks for sharing more of yourself with us. Whisper...

Nightguy_1961 replies on 3/29/2006 9:17 pm:

My lady & I have always joked that the universe has been working overtime to bring us together.

My problem is, while most people give others a score of '100' & take points off as time goes by....I start people off at '0'...and give points as time goes by.....and I'm a tough judge.

Thanks for reading

Whispersoftly5 52F
15176 posts
3/29/2006 12:21 pm

P.S. and on a very non-related item - I thought you may want to see this post (you're mentioned in it).

[post 289024]


Nightguy_1961 replies on 3/29/2006 9:18 pm:
I accept my job humbly

*starts sharpening his implements of destruction*

PrincessKarma 43F
6188 posts
3/30/2006 8:37 pm

Need a hug? *offers hug*

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma

Nightguy_1961 replies on 3/30/2006 10:01 pm:

I'll never turn down a hug from a lady!!!


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