coming to terms with my sexuallity  

NeedMoreASS2006 49M
3 posts
7/2/2006 5:19 pm

Last Read:
10/23/2006 9:44 pm

coming to terms with my sexuallity

It's strange, until the last couple of years i really thought i was hetrosexual even though at times i was attracted to men. Even when people(a few women though mostly men ) that i met through mutual friends later told me that thier first impression of me was that i was gay. LOL How ironic is that ? When total strangers knew or saw that i was gay even before actually knew! Or maybe i did know,not consciously but unconsciously. Though i should have seen it for myself sooner cause i have always been more comfortable hanging out with the guys then being alone with women. I have always been uncomfortable around women that i knew were interrested in me for more than friendship. Perhaps that is why , when i did enter a realtionship with a women, that i sought out women that had vastly different interests then mine and had a dominate personality.Cause deep down i knew eventually it would not work out and we would break up . I tried too make one a go of it , i married her and stayed with her for almost 8 years, we divorced in 2002. I filed for the divorce though ironically it was not cause i told her i was gay. Though i think deep down it was a major part of my decission. I think deep down i was tired of hiding it. Granted i am not out shouting my gayness from the roof tops yet the closet door is unlocked and halfway open for anyone to look in. I am at a happy place in my life, i have found tranquillity , an inner peace in my soul and i stand at the threshold. Will i take that next step? I am unable to answer that at this time.

Who knows what future holds and my bring to us ..............


7/2/2006 7:18 pm

My oldest and dearest friend is gay and we've been friends since we were 16. I've been there through all of his trials and tribulations and then eventually, his self acceptance of who he truly is. He's been in a monogamous relationship for 5 years now and is truly happy. The best of luck to you darlin'. I hope you have great happiness in your life as well.

rm_Bill021000 66M
2 posts
8/22/2006 3:02 pm

I'm so glad that you've found tranquility. Nothing better than that.

What is the next step, to which you refer? A partnered, live-in (maybe) relationship with a good man?

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