Geezus! He turns me into an idiot in 2.5 seconds  

NawtieBBWwantsit 45F
99 posts
3/23/2006 9:39 pm

Last Read:
3/23/2006 10:25 pm

Geezus! He turns me into an idiot in 2.5 seconds

Some got to read my last blog here on AdultFriendFinder, and got to read about me finding my first puppy luv, right here on AdultFriendFinder. Imagine the first time you discovered the opposite sex. That first person. Well for me, His name is "BB". (well not really BB but those are his initials )

Anyhoo, we've been chatting back and forth. First via email, then the phone, and he thinks its time I threw all caution to the wind and just fucked his brains out. LOL. So what's the problem? Believe me, It's difficult to explain.

Well to begin with, all I ever imagined getting from him, was a kiss. And now this is so much more than that lil peck on the lips.

Then there's the fact he turns me into a bumbling idiot in 2.5 seconds everytime I hear his voice. This is not normal Nay behaviour. No One turns me into an idiot but him. This fact alone completely baffles me. And I don't like feeling that way. I haven't heard from him in a week. Had a normal life for a whole week. Felt like I was finally back to my old self, for a whole friggen week.

Get that next email from him, and the whole rest of my day turned into one mishap after another because now i'm an idiot again.

For me, this couldn't be any worse. I like having control, being in control, of my life. 2 words from him and i'm not in control. I'm clumsey, forgetful, distracted, and stupid. -sigh- and everyone noticed it today. I got home around 8pm and went straight to bed. Laid there and thought about how I could change these weird lil events taking place. I have no clue, is what I came up with.

I lead a busy life, If it's not work then it's the different commitments I've made to community and humanitarian projects, within the community I live in. and today, everybody noticed 'somethings not kosher in the town of nayville'. And everybody has had to comment on it. "whats wrong with you today? you don't seem like yourself." or "you ok Nay? You seem a lil distracted."

I really didn't even want to sign online tonight. I didn't want to see another email from him. I didn't want to read it, but I did. And now I fear tomorrow will be just as fucked up as today is. And tomorrow is an important day for me.

So now I'm depressed.

Depressed, worried and sick. Literally.

I cannot fuck up tomorrow. I can't be forgetful, distracted or stupid. I have to be on top of my game, so to speak.

And I won't be. I feel it. I know it. And everything I touch will turn to shit just like today.

fuck. this sucks.

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