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Does human emotional, physical and sexual maturity begin and end with masturbation?
Well, yes and no. Yes, because you should have some kind of maturity to handle the initial guilt of what you’ve done or fear that you might be caught. I could handle me being sexually solo -- I was physically ready, but I was emotionally ready, too. Again, for my being SOLO. And I was solo for a good seven years from my accidental introduction to the wonderful world of orgasm via the family vacuum cleaner hose. And I really knew how to give myself some doozies.
Mono-physical sexuality, I’ll call it.
But, while I became an expert on my own PERSONAL releases, I knew I wasn’t emotionally mature to handle having male-female bi-physical sex or engage in ANY bi-physical sexual activity when I first became “active” -- ha, sounds like a fucking disease. "Are you 'active?'" When it came time for me to fuck a woman, I just did it to do it and be done with it. I became "active" when I was 19 -- I was a late bloomer by society’s standards.
In this day, in our time, the age of bi-physical sexuality seems to be ever moving backward -- even though abstinence and virginity keep rearing their strange heads every few years. Shit -- I cannot do a thing about controlling what other people choose to do. And I have no kids myself, so I’m not out to save the world -- but this is what I have deduced over the years.
WE CANNOT DENY THE CALL OF OUR BODIES! Well, duh-fucking-doo-dah...But keep in mind that it’s a preparation for a greater calling if you can eventually mature enough to hear it. Well, that may be truer than many people would like to believe -- the pull of the need for guys to ejaculate might supercede the potential of personal “sublime” spiritual subtext. I’d like to talk about this in progressive steps.
For the guys, now (I’m not a woman, nor do I play one on TV): Guys and their dicks -- there are scientific, empirically-proven data of the biological male need to ejaculate. The male needs to purge his system every handful of days once he reaches healthy puberty (healthy meaning being able to jack-off several times a day without feeling guilty or getting caught) -- look it fucking up on the WEB if you don’t believe me -- that’s one reason why men masturbate so gaddamn much AND why we think about sex so much. We’ve got living, swimming sperm intermixed with dead swimmers. Expired and soured and curdled like little lifeless tadpoles -- right in our nut sacks.
When the sperm die (and the life cycle of a sperm cell is short -- a few days, really) the boy’s balls don’t want 'em no mo'. Remember that scene in Poltergeist? JoBeth Williams in that nasty-ass backyard earthy swimming pool maw? And all those dead bodies coming up and floating in the water? Imagine that she was a happy sperm, swimming by herself -- she would have felt much better had those bodies been removed in a prompt manner when they just started piling up. They should have been expelled from her -- from her own need to live and swim with living spermies. Look at what happened because she swam with the dead -- the little girl got sucked in a TV, a tree ate the little boy, a man pulled his face off and ate some maggots, and a saucy little midget medium came to visit and scared the ever-living shit out of everyone before they all went to live in the Holiday Inn.
Guys need to whack-off. Point of fact -- end of story. It was even just recently proved to be one of the most important ways of fending off prostate cancer. Not only do we need to get out decomposing pollywogs, we have to change the fluids in our chassis. It’s our own Jiffy Lube -- and the best part is this -- IT’S FUCKING FREE!! Not only that, masturbation should be encouraged and celebrated -- guys should be educated on this once they hit that MAGIC age. We’d have fewer teenage pregnancies -- poor former Clinton-appointed Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders tried and was summarily fired for actually coming up with a radical sex education program that spoke a modicum of truth and reality.
"Masturbate as much as you want, kids -- you’ll make more." Ha. It’s normal, first of all. It’s healthy. It’s good for you -- keep it private, of course -- but it’s good for your body AND mind. And I fucking mean it. It’s so simple, it’s so logical -- why we still have this need to wrap so much shame and guilt and manipulative cruelty around such a common shared act is beyond me.
Masturbation should tide you over until you are emotionally mature enough to start poking around in somebody’s dark, wet places. It’ll teach you how to meet your own needs at an early age, truly helping to stave off a premature sexual co-dependency (and, indirectly, emotional co-dependency).
Now, all the kids seem to be screaming that oral sex is not sex and completely safe. I think we should thank Bill Clinton for that. "By the time I leave office, all the kids will want to be doing 'Lewinskys.'"
What about good-old JACKING-OFF or finger DIDDLING? Even after you pass into young adulthood, it's still a great thing to do.
One of the great things on which I pride myself is my ability to control my sexual urges through masturbation. If I’m stressed -- whackity-whack-whack. If I’m horny, and I’m not in a relationship (or if I am and they are not around) -- jerkity-jerk-jerk. If I just want to do something nice for myself, just me and myself -- and my thoughts and a towel (sometimes with some decent porn) -- Rosy Palm and Her Five Sisters, baby, yeah. Self-reliance.
Sexual Independence. SEXUAL FUCKING INDEPENDENCE! Christ, when you can accept the fact that you can please yourself on your own, you won't get wrapped up in SOOOOO much bullshit. And you become less of a clingy, co-dependant, ego-centric, selfish asshole. Sexual Independence is not about some false freedom to fuck and suck whomever or be fucked and sucked by whomever -- sexual independence comes from the self and only from the self. You, people. Every last damn one of you. That’s why it starts with masturbation.
That kind of freedom emerges when you realize you can essentially take care of your own sexual needs -- and I am talking about sexual release that has less to do with sexual chemistry and soul connection (a bi-physical sexual release) and more to do with just building to a great climax by your lonesome (mono-physical sexual release). Besides, sexual independence celebrates the fact that you can make yourself come better than anyone else. There’s positive power in that. It truly can be strength and character-building in the long-run.
Guys, if you’re making out, messing around, fooling around, dry humping -- whatever -- with someone, and they suddenly need to back away or stop the scromping because of some reason or another -- fine. You don’t NEED to try to make them feel anything other than OK for making that choice. It’s THEIR choice -- and their choice may have little or nothing (depending on how you had behaved up to that point) to do with you or your throbbing member. All you need to goddamn do, guys, is excuse yourself (if you need to leave -- and try to make it quick) and finish yourself off. THAT’S IT! Jesus, it just staggers me some of the stories I hear from women about the guys with whom they’ve been -- and I apologize more often than not as a representative of the entire gender for YOUR insecurities and lack of control and sexual bullying. STOP IT, you assholes; you're making it difficult for the rest of us.
Just have her wait a moment while you discharge your weapon -- hell, if she’s not crying or withdrawing from some emotional catastrophe, your partner may not even mind (the good ones -- the emotionally mature ones don’t) if you finished there and then in front of her. Remember, ultimately, you only control your own release -- it’s in both heads, guys. When you’re done, THEN you can talk or communicate or allay fears without being a pressure-cooked fuckwad -- not to mention the sheer confidence of you wanting to finish in front of her (or him, no judging) will, more often than not, make her want you to put it inside her. But respectfully, shamelessly, take care of your own needs if she's not willing to share her body in that way.
And women, that goes for you too. If you put pressure on your man to get you off, when you haven't done it yourself, you are playing with fire, and if you don't open yourself up to YOU, your relationship will fail. You are in charge of your own sexual gratification -- you then have the power to use the guy as your fucking hot tool. He needs to learn to control his release, you need to learn how to use him to your advantage. AND GROW TOGETHER!
But, ladies, if for any reason, you need to pull away...and the boy ain't finished...don't ever feel pressured to finish him unless that's what you want to do. And guys, don't expect it. Take care of it yourself... Unless something traumatic happens, ladies, give your guy a moment to come on his own -- he’ll be in a better mindset to be more emotionally available for you -- it’s them thar endorphins released in the brain. If you weren’t close enough, but he was worked up, then other measures might need to be taken. Someone either didn’t communicate or didn’t listen -- gals have a nasty habit of wanting guys to read their minds; guys have a nasty habit of thinking they can “conquer” anyone’s moral center of their tootsie pop because they didn’t “hear that."
But I digress.
Masturbation can be a truly preventative measure -- no holds barred. Pound your pud until it’s cud. Moo, men -- moo.
Before you play with others, you should play with yourself. Often. Frequently. And when you can play WELL with yourself, embracing your own mono-physical sexuality, then you will be able to take the first steps to playing WELL with others. There’s a big difference, people. Anyone can have something put inside them -- anyone can put something inside someone. But there is an art to it, a religious experience (if you will), when it is done with self-respect and love -- otherwise, it is a selfish act, in which case you might as well be playing alone. Self-love leads to sexual independence leads to sexual maturity leads to positive and healthy sexual experiences.
Masturbation can really start the whole of your sexual identity.
Now what's wrong with that?