The Wisdom of the Kama Sutra: Extra-Marital Partners  

NamasteDarling 61M
7 posts
2/27/2006 3:20 pm

Last Read:
3/26/2006 9:24 am

The Wisdom of the Kama Sutra: Extra-Marital Partners

I hope this blog does not make me come off like I'm trying to pretend that I'm an expert on this stuff, cause I know that I'm really not...I am very interested in learning as much as I can, though. Thanks for bearing with me.

Like many people, I used to think that the Kama Sutra was only about getting yourself tied up into knots with as many sexual positions as possible. Actually, though, only a small portion of the Kama Sutra is dedicated to different sexual positions. Most of it is about the correct, ethical way to enjoy physical pleasure as a sacred act, without hurting anyone else, or violating one's own 'dharma' (truth, or one's unique spiritual path). It also covers a variety of techniques of pleasure and seduction.

In recent years, as it became more and more evident that I would not be able to enjoy the rich sexual life I had once had without going outside of my marriage, I was devastated by the thought of being unfaithful. I still am, but I've come to believe that it would be less destructive personally, and to my partner, to be occasionally unfaithful, than to abandon her to her problems altogether. I have found comfort in ancient writings, like those in the Kama Sutra, which take the idea of extra-marital sex as something that is natural, and to be expected. Such behavior does not suddenly grant the wandering husband license to be cruel and thoughtless, but, rather, it is expected that the unfaithful husband will be even more kind to his wife, and constantly be trying to make up to her for his wanderings, and shower her with added gifts and attentions. In addition, the Kama Sutra does not even consider a married man having sex with a single woman as being adultery. Adultery is only when a married man seduces a married woman into extra-marital sex. The single woman is free to have sex with as many married men as she likes, and the married man the same with unmarried women.

I am very interested in hearing feedback from other members on this topic. Is it always cruel and stupid for a man to have an extra-marital affair? Is a man always a creep and a jerk if he has sex outside of his marriage? Must a man endure forced celibacy, or abandon someone he loves, rather than take a lover? Thoughts?

Darkpassion 57F

2/27/2006 4:06 pm

It's different for every situation. The drives of the partners can be very different. It is selfish/cruel of one to make the other resign to a life of celibacy. If you go out side your marriage for sex you must as you rightly say not disrespect the other partner. Single women should learn that a married man is not going to leave a secure home to start again with you. Be happy in the moment.'Affairs' are not for everyone. I would advise open communication. It's not the extramarital sex that causes the problem it's the deceit and lack of trust. Be open about what you need, communication is the key.

keithcancook 60M
17865 posts
2/27/2006 5:10 pm

Morality is subjective. My exwife taught me that.
Good luck!

Blog On!

saddletrampsk 54F

2/27/2006 6:38 pm

interesting post..I battle with my choice to have sex outside of my marriage.each situation is different..there really is no black and white..only grey

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