Kama Sutra: How a Man Should Patiently Encourage a Woman's Confidence in Him  

NamasteDarling 61M
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3/19/2006 9:26 pm

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3/19/2006 9:27 pm

Kama Sutra: How a Man Should Patiently Encourage a Woman's Confidence in Him

All of the ancient texts on sexuality repeat over and over again the importance of patience on the part of the man. Vatsyayana, the author of the Kama Sutra, emphasizes this by saying that a man must be willing to put his own intrest in instant gratifucation aside. If a man is able to do this, according to Vatsyayana, the man will inspire deep and lasting trust in his partner, and her affection for him will bring out her deep passion and prove his patience to have been worth while. The following is an excerpt from Part III of the Kama Sutra.

...the man should begin slowly to win a woman over, and to create confidence in her, but should abstain at first from sexual pleasures. Women, being of a tender nature, want tender beginnings, and when they are forcibly approached by men with whom they are but slightly acquainted, they sometimes suddenly become haters of sexual connection, and sometimes even haters of the male sex. The man should therefore approach the girl according to her liking, and should make use of those devices by which he may be able to establish himself more and more into her confidence. These devices are as follows:

He should embrace her first of all in a way she likes most, because it does not last for a long time. He should embrace her with the upper part of his body because that is easier and simpler. If the girl is grown up, or if the man has known her for some time, he may embrace her by the light of a lamp, but if he is not well acquainted with her, or if she is a young girl, he should then embrace her in darkness.

When the girl accepts the embrace, the man should put a sweet her mouth, and if she will not take it, he should induce her to do so by conciliatory words, and entreaties. At the time of giving this sweet he should kiss her mouth softly and gracefully without making any sound.

If the girl is familiar with the man, she should sit near him, without saying anything, The man should then touch her young breasts in the sounding way of pressing with the nails, and if she prevents him doing this he should say to her, ' I will not do it again if you will embrace me', and should in this way cause her to embrace him. While he is being embraced by her he should pass his hand repeatedly over and about her body. After her confidence has increased still more, he should feel the whole of her body with his hands, and kiss her all over; he should also place his hands upon her thighs and massage them, and if he succeed in this he should then massage the joints of her thighs. If she tries to prevent him doing this he should say to her, 'What harm is there in doing it?' and should persuade her to let him do it. After gaining this point he should touch her private parts, should loosen her girdle and the knot of her dress, and turning up her lower garment should massage the joints of her naked thighs. He should also promise to be faithful to her in future, and should dispel all her fears with respect to rival women, and, at last, after having overcome her bashfulness, he should begin to enjoy her in a way so as not to frighten her. So much about creating confidence in the girl; and there are, moreover, some verses on the subject as follows:

'A man acting according to the inclinations of a girl should try to gain her over so that she may love him and place her confidence in him. A man does not succeed either by implicitly following the inclination of a girl, or by wholly opposing her, and he should therefore adopt a middle course. He who knows how to make himself beloved by women, as well as to increase their honour and create confidence in them, this man becomes an object of their love. But he who neglects a girl, thinking she is too bashful, is despised by her as a beast ignorant of the working of the female mind. Moreover, a girl forcibly enjoyed by one who does not understand the hearts of girls becomes nervous, uneasy, and dejected, and suddenly begins to hate the man who has taken advantage of her; and then, when her love is not understood or returned, she sinks into despondency, and becomes either a hater of mankind altogether, or, hating her own man, she has recourse to other men.'

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