|Blogs > NYPublisher75 > The Truth About Cats & Dogs|
You Can Get How Much Out Of That Thing???
You Can Get How Much Out Of That Thing???
Let's focus on the basics of how a guy can pleasure a girl.
First of all, us guys have to grasp two simple differences between men and women (beside the bloody obvious):
1. There is truth in the old shopping analogy. Probably everyone has heard the jokes that men go into a store knowing what they want, they grab it, pay for it, and leave as opposed to women who will circle potential purchases for a while, evaluating if they truly want it. This boils down to the fact that guys have little patience and women have tons. This does come into play in the bedroom, as guys aim straight for the finale and girls (typically, but not always) like to take some time getting there. As the cute redhead in American Pie 2 says: "You've gotta pre-heat the oven."
2. If a guy has one orgasm during sex, then mission is accomplished. You can make a go of it again or just be satisfied with what you got. If a woman orgasms once during sex, then something is wrong. Women are orgasm machines. Literally. They can keep having them with no problems. The more they have, the happier they get.
So let's start with the basics, a.k.a. the aforementioned "pre-heating the oven". This is also called foreplay by many. And kissing is a good start.
Now when I say kissing, I don't just mean on the mouth. Most women share erogenous zones, so here are the basic ones (or the places you should kiss): on the lips, on the neck below the jaws, on the nape of the neck, on the inside of the wrists, on the nipples, in between the breasts, and on the inner thighs. Just start at the top and work your down.
And once you get to the breasts, you gotta be careful. This is where most guys start failing. Guys love breasts and women love guys to touch their breasts. Alas, most guys treat breasts like they are dough they need to knead. Some girls like this, most don't. The breasts can be very sensative, so listen to the lady and watch her body language; learn what degree she likes the contact at. Some enjoy a gentle rubbing of the nipples, some like a bit of tweaking, and some even love the full-on kneading.
Now we get to the really good part: clitoral stimulation. Yes, the clitoris. Lots of guys assume girls like vaginal stimulation (you know, from you putting your fingers in her vagina), but that doesn't really get a girl as hot and bothered as you probably think it does. Rubbing their clit, though... that's a different story. Don't know what the clitoris is, don't worry -- lots of women don't really either. For proof, check out this article:
But regardless of the author of the above article not knowing what it was, she knew she enjoyed it. Trust me, women enjoy it. But there are three types of women in this department, so you need to find out (one way or the other) which type you're with:
Type 1: "That's the spot... oh yeah!" Touch the clitoris full-on for pleasure. Yup, just place your finger on this little button and go wild.
Type 2: "It hurts if you touch my clitoris." Some girls have a very sensative clitoris. These girls require you to not touch the clitoris directly, but rather rub next to it. They get excited by the sensation of nearness rather than direct contact.
Type 3: "It hurts if I orgasm." Rare, but it happens. Some girls honestly feel pain when they orgasm. If this is the case, then you should gently and slowly rub the clitoris. She'll let you know when to stop and you certainly should.
So where is the clitoris? Diagram used as photo/icon for this post, so check it out. You can also view it at:
Now that you know where it is, what do you do with it? Well...
Start rubbing it, slowly, either with a finger or your tongue. Slowly build up momentum. If you do this right, five to ten minutes can pass with her growing towards orgasm. Listen to her voice and feel her body, as you can start to judge when she's on the verge of orgasm. When you think she's about to orgasm: STOP! No, really. Don't let her orgasm yet. She'll give you a really mean look (remember, you're probably the first guy in a while or ever to get her this close) and you deserve it. Feel like a bastard, but give her a loving smile.
Once she's calmed down repeat the above. Now you have to make a judgement call: you can either repeat the stop and calm down stage or you can let her orgasm. Some girls get almost violent when you tease them near orgasm twice and stop, some don't mind as long as they know you'll be working at it again. You need to figure out what sort of gal you're with.
So why all the stopping and starting? The clitoris likes stimulation. The more you stimulate it without giving it release, the more it desires release. You're making it more sensative allowing for quicker orgasms in the aftermath and you're building up that first orgasm to be huge and great.
Once she orgasms, don't stop rubbing her clitoris. Keep on that puppy and build the speed up. She'll keep orgasming and the orgasms will start getting closer together.
She should receive around 10 to 20 orgasms before you even think of penetration. No, really. That many and she can go for a good amount more. If you've done your job right, she'll be begging (literally) for you to enter her.
WARNING! Most girls hit their threshold of orgasms around 40 or so, which means you want to leave a decent number remaining for the actual "show" (intercourse). Some can go a lot longer, reaching as many as 100-plus which was described to me by my girlfriend at the time as "a wave of orgasms, one beginning before the last had finished." She loved it, obviously, but we had to stop as she was about to go into an epileptic seizure due to the excitement. So I don't know what happens if you go beyond that. Sorry.
The actual show. Penetration. Intercourse.
Now, you can go with the tried and true missionary position at this point, but it is a rather limited form. "How so?" you ask. Well, doggie style (for instance) allows you to reach around and continue to rub her clitoris while you're in the act. This way she's getting both buttons, as it were, pushed at once. Works well.
What works better, though, is cowgirl (girl-on-top). Not only does this allow the girl to control the speed and depth of penetration but it also gives her the chance to do other things. Did you know that a girl can get off during intercourse by merely rocking her hips side-to-side and/or back-and-forth? She most certainly can and cowgirl allows her the chance to do it. Plus in cowgirl you can still rub her clitoris.
Most important of all, though, is to listen to your partner. She might not directly tell you what she wants, but based on reactions you can start assembling a mental list of "dos" and "don'ts". Sometimes she might be in the mood for a quickie, in which case most of the above is useless, but most of the time she'll appreciate the added attention that "pre-heating" gives her.
Also remember not to blow all your knowledge at once. If you give her all of the above stuff on the first outing, then what do you do for a second act? Give her enough to let her know that you are a skilled lover, but not so much that the next time will be more of the same. I sometimes wait one or two months to utilize all of the above stuff, just to keep that feather in my cap for a future date.
12/14/2005 6:16 am
<=== waiting on the next installment plan to open up |
Not too shabby for Biology 400. <grins>
Of couse, not everyone operates on the same battery charge.