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How To Deal With The Depraved
How To Deal With The Depraved
There's a long-standing and constantly repeated list of three "rules" for guys regarding girls. If you haven't heard them, then you haven't been paying attention. While the wording or phrasing changes, the underlying statements are always the same.
Rule 1: Beauty is only a light switch away.
Rule 2: Girls are like buses: if you miss one, another will be along in five minutes.
Rule 3: Fat chicks are like mopeds: fun to ride, but you don't want your friends seeing you on one.
Some people have more than this, but these three are the common rules heard and passed along to future generations.
Now, ladies, you might be able to derive two simple statements from the above rules:
1. Appearance is important to guys.
2. Even to the exclusion of the first statements, guys will sleep with any chick he can.
And, to a degree, both statements are true. The male of the species is quite plausibly the most depraved creature on the planet. The problem for you, in trying to please a guy, is that we are far more complex sexual creatures than any of the above lets on.
When girls fantasize, they typically envision the person they're with and not the actual situation; guys fantasize the opposite way -- placing more emphasis on what they do than who they do it to. This is because guys are a fetishistic lot. Guys are raised to be more open in discussing sex and are encouraged by society to explore pornography from a young age. What this leads to is more attention to the details (or fetishes).
When I was young I had a Playboy calendar. While the twelve lovely ladies in it (thirteen ladies if you count the fact that one month had twins) didn't create my aesthetic ideal of beauty, they did create my concept of sexy. They all had one thing in common and I find that one thing sexy. Thigh highs and garter belts. I'm a sucker for 'em; they are sexy to me.
But not every guy would have been exposed to the same things as me, thus their fetishes would be different. Just as no two snowflakes are the same, neither are the lists of fetishes for a single guy the same as any other.
So, gals, here's my suggestion to you on how to best please your man: Find out what he likes and do it. How do you find out? You ask. Guys have little problems discussing their fetishes, so if you seem receptive to them then he'll have no problems sharing.
The exception, of course, are fetishes that guys consider (for one reason or another) shameful or silly. Your guy might have no problems letting you know that he would like to try anal sex with you, but he might feel uncomfortable letting you know that he prefers your hair in pigtails during intercourse. It's strange stuff.
Here's some basic stuff you can try:
1. Be an active sexual partner; don't just lie there. Some guys prefer you lying there and doing nothing, but he'll certainly let you know if this is the case.
2. Pay attention to his body language and read into it. If he seems to prefer doggie style, then chances are good he fantasizes about anal sex. If he pays added attention to your legs, he may prefer stockings or thigh highs on you. So on and so forth.
3. Trick him. Oh yes, one of the most effective tools is trickery. If you tell a guy that you have a master-slave fetish that you want to live out (with you being the slave and him the master) he'll probably divulge his fetishes during this role-playing or give you previously unknown insights into what he likes.
The most important thing you can do is be open to his fetishes. Give them a shot or try. If it's something that you really don't want to do for whatever reason, then honestly let him know. But in doing so realize that you might be condemning the relationship to some degree: you know what he wants and are refusing to give it to him. He probably won't be so honest with you about his most intimate fetishes in the future (and that might lead to your breakup eventually).
12/14/2005 6:12 am
mmmmmm.... (a silent conversation) |
... and reading minds is what we women do best!
::taking up braile is in the next lesson:: <grinning>