[/color]EXHIBITIONISM: It started ....  

NUBIEFREEDOM 65M
26 posts
2/18/2005 9:56 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

[/color]EXHIBITIONISM: It started ....

It started when I was 6 yrs old. The neighborhood girls gathered around in a circle sitting on the sidewalk. They sat "Indian Style" and every knee touched another person's knee. They said to me "Go away. This is for girls only". I slowly walked a few feet away, but I could still see what was going on. To my amazement, the girls were pulling their pants down or dresses upwards to exhibit their smooth and soft vulvas. I was excited and wanted to do the same...to show off my smoothness and make someone excited as I was getting.

Not to be outdone by those bratty girls, I created a stage complete with curtains. I invited some OTHER kids to be the audience at the free show. Behind the curtains I had a wheelbarrel full of water. A friend, a younger guy, and I undressed behind the curtain. It was really exciting knowing that we were naked behinds the curtain. And then.... the curtains opened and we were bathing in the wheelbarrel with full on erections. The audience squirmed in their chairs and wew amazed that we actually did it! And their reactions!!!! Outstanding! From that day on, I needed, looked for and found opportunities to be an exhibitionist.

Has this happened to you? How has it affected your life? AdultFriendFinder is the spot to do our nasty legally! I think I am going nuts with desire. I can't stop thinking of SEX KINKY SEX and more sex. Do I Need Help? Help! Someone help me....or... I need another orgasm?!


rm_toohotque 50M
179 posts
2/28/2005 2:15 am

Very amusing,,

I was first led to try exhibition after failing at socializing (generally.) In a trip to Las Vegas I went to my first strip club, "The Palomino" and was moved by the uninhibited women with gorgeous bodies (also very scented.)

Later I tried exhibition to a somewhat obscurred road and listened for activity in peepers,, very rarely was there anyone out there but IT did happen.

Adult women are very secretive about being interested in male exhibition,, they are scared stiff for what will happen if it gets around. Even with the internet there is concern,, reputations are very hard to get in the first place, throwing one away is like flushing money down the toilet.

Women are SO concerned about their reputation they would rather die than be caught peeping on male exhibition. Their option is to circulate THAT the exhibition is occurring to tarnish YOUR reputation, boosting theirs. "Social climbing" is the term.

Lookout!

Uninhibited freedom is a nice feeling,, the sense of danger is also tingling. It sure beats watching TV! Cheers!

I tried putting a shadow on the wall of my tent at a campground last summer to a single woman at the next site,, clanging pans or something happened when she was standing on the table to get a better view. We never said a word to each other, and I just took off on a few-day kayak trip.

-Queo0O0o


rm_toohotque 50M
179 posts
2/28/2005 2:51 am

I forgot to mention that as a child I developed very strong inhibition that resulted from fighting that I witnessed between my parents. Then it compounded in peer criticism when neighborhood boys caught me holding hands with the girl next door (I was about 4,) and chased me. I was setup to take criticism very badly because of my parents, I never sought help from them after experiencing the fighting. I didn't look to them for support, especially my father. Feelings for my parents were misplaced for my entire life. I was too young to recognize exactly what was happening, and chose to skip psychology in education opportunities.

Later, I recognized I had a problem with sex and girls. Exhibition shifted everything to a point that it is like I unlocked the door to some kind of energy. I am like a child in some way I dropped allot of fears regarding reputation, self esteem. Its hard to put a finger on it exactly, but exhibition became a curiousity that lead to activity that removed a psychological barrier. It began with the strip club Palomino in Las Vegas.

Now I'm ready to go to college. I had the IQ 145 at 17 got into a private college in St. Paul,, but had too many inhibitions. Of course now its too late for college, though I could sell my home and pay for it. (Hey, don't ever just take an offer for your home, got to think about it. Its crazy what can and will go wrong.)

-Queo0O0o


rm_toohotque 50M
179 posts
2/28/2005 3:28 am

I guess that the contempt I developed for my parents and their generation was SO strong (vietnam era in H.S.) that it was like a slingshot. There was bottled energy and experience that wieghted reasoning to find fault with SO much of the world around me that when I finally found private pleasure in performing exhibitionism, it was a preferable mental engagement. I have always liked challenges, but lacking true emotional support, I am setup to always fail. People around me even play this out, favoring to substantiate or accentuate my character faults, like its socially a better option than really expressing genuine feelings.

Now I have arrived at a stage where I assess whether a person is being genuine. In my own parents I get faked logic and fasads as they battle the guilt syndrome. I spare them the agony when I avoid them.

I don't have the guilt. I tend to be overtly honest about everything. This is awkward,, honesty is a very weird thing.

The way you arrived at doing exhibition is much different. Having that primodial reinforcement from a brilliant childhood experiment is very remarkable. Many parents will attempt to guarantee their children will not be so brilliant as children, (possibly unintentionally.) You had wonderful parents.

[blog Queo0O0o]


rm_toohotque 50M
179 posts
2/28/2005 3:46 am

What will YOU gain from expanding on your inclination? Weird,, I can't say that is necessary to actually gain anything, but then there is the RISK involved. I am an analyst, but NOT a psychologist. There are identities that can help isolate what is compelling you to RISK exhibition. It could be that it has always been a prime focal point in your life that holds significant energy. Its like a WELL that you need to keep drinking the water. (Oh boy,, better turn to Jesus,, I am a spiritualist. kidding)

The psychoanalyst will point out why you are oriented to keep drinking from the well you discovered as a child.

Its very complex,, and to change you will need to devote time and effort,, otherwise just let everyone know you are inclined toward reliving that early experience, so that they understand. Heh,, maybe they'll give you a special permit adjucating maximum punishment.

[blog Queo0O0o]


rm_toohotque 50M
179 posts
2/28/2005 3:53 am

You probably have a desire for being loved by many women. Unquenchable thirst that goes all the way to your childhood.

That must be it.

I am similar,, there is a yearning in me to at least find out that my exhibition is enjoyable by at least one woman at a time,, but
I think i also want to be free to go to the next, and the next and the next.... until I am finally satisfied.


rm_toohotque 50M
179 posts
2/28/2005 4:05 am

There is something worth contemplating why: I should want to be such a FREE menace to society. The honesty that can menace people boiling guilt to the surface that ruptures into anger is evident, at times. Why should I strive to be so FREE? Especially when others will not think I DESERVE such freedom! Iraq.

I am like a child as long as I can escape the clutches of the legal system, but when it gets a grip, the cold fingers will REALLY by trying to get a grip on me this time.

That's why I live way back in the woods in privacy, for now. That won't last too long unless I can find support as income.

I live in a little shack like Thoreau who placed his things so they could found in the pitch black of night. I might get a window this summer. We're wireless and off-grid. True menace to society at present. But lawful and honest.

[blog Queo0O0o]


rm_toohotque 50M
179 posts
2/28/2005 4:20 am

I really don't see much reason to respect the deceitful society. Its all so fake. The greatest minds will all tell you that they know almost nothing for certain. Yet we need certification in this country to screw in a lightbulb.

There is no reason. Thoreau would say the same thing. There is really nothing. Nothing to know, nothing to have and nothing to feel. Still we are here, alive.

When we can't see the Milky Way at night then we will have finally lost that freedom to look up and study IT.

I saw it clearly last summer on the 21st of June in Ely when polar air came down. Star were much more visible than normal. ALLOT MORE VISIBLE. Insanely.

It shouldn't really bother anybody that I am into exhibitionism. It doesn't compare as long as I can pay my way and avoid legal complications.

[blog Queo0O0o]


rm_toohotque 50M
179 posts
2/28/2005 4:40 am

I went kayaking with my dog near Ely outside the park once. I strapped a lawnchair on the kayak and the dog swam along beside me just 3.5 miles back into a place I found on the map.

It was great to get away. Kayaking was new,, we took evening excursions and in the morning I swam the dog around the small lake, still exploring his capabillities.

One evening we came back at sunset and a pontton boat was in the small lake. I jumped into the chair and pulled down my swimsuit. I had been tanning nude and was completely tanned. I got rock hard. The boat moved to a place that the breeze would bring it closer as darkness also encroached. They drifted closer and closer and I felt there was such a fine line of waning visibility that I was safe from being photographed. When finally it seemed they were getting a little close, they started the motor and gave a short TOOT on the horn as they turned away.

-


rm_toohotque 50M
179 posts
2/28/2005 5:13 am

Exhibitionism becomes a contest vs. society. The case for mental illness is in the balance. Even my own parents are working to get me committed, though they need to be playing a part that makes me think otherwise.

I need to outwit everyone and get a job with an employer is outside the circle.

My case involves a 1982 conviction for indecent exposure that I managed to live down, committing technical crime to earn a living. I built a house and lived in it, played golf at the country club, all the while secretly perfecting my exhibitionism in my thirties.

Of late I became healthier and more active. I actually SOLD the house with dignity paying off a tiny mortgage. The community circle has done NOTHING to finesse its case for mental illness after they were sure they had a strong foothold. I used ephedra and had halucinations, hearing voices when I took of 40 pounds in '00.

I'm still free and the difficult part is that my driving record is perfect and I paid all debts off with the sale of the house. Mental illness that they would love to substantiate is but a tiny glimmer except its hard to find work. I lived out the winter off-grid using a generator and will be able to make it awhile with lots for sale. Things really get crazy when I find work and sell a lot. Then I complete my remote cabin and recover my equity next year when I can sell it without taxation.

Look,, no mental illness!

Weird...

Its a game you probably don't want to play,, but it has its rewards. Its a matter of perspective.

-[blog Queo0O0o]


rm_toohotque 50M
179 posts
2/28/2005 5:36 am

I was on the edge before I figured out I had a potassium deficiency a year ago. I figured I was only getting about half the recommended ammount for a sustained period, and could pinpoint my highschool athletic conditioning as probably lacking in sufficient potassioum to maintain strength and fight fatique. I played 3 sports, was always active but eventually ran myself down though I never had that weakness thing,,[name for it]

Since I have been selecting potassium-rich foods I am improved in mental and physical health, both.

This was probably the turning point. I was screwed by the system for certain, but I figured out the potassium.

Checkout Nostadumus quatrain about 666 mark of the beast,,,

Well,, Potassium K is atomic number 19. Then it stands that a deficient potassium atom has 18 electrons. Check out the electron shells: 6 6 6

Decoded the quatrain should be interpreted simply as:

"Pottassium deficiency is a mark on society."

Where society is the "Head of the Beast."

I say:

"Pottassium deficiency is a black mark on society."

is the real meaning.

In general the WORLD has not accepted this interpretation in a publicized forum,, but I have disclosed it as THE interpretation.

Saved me from the cold steel mill so far,,, eventually it will get me too.

-Queo0O0o


rm_toohotque 50M
179 posts
2/28/2005 5:40 am

While I have the light,, look at the period of the giant volcanoes,, Yellowstone is something out around 265,000 years.

There is speculation that a twin star is returning into the solar system (to reawaken Yellowstone and the other giant volcanoes is my contibution.) Geologic evidence should substantiate that a period exists where the brown dwarf star usually excites the volcanoes. Has yet to be accepted by scientific community, but I threw it at them!

[blog Queo0O0o]


rm_toohotque 50M
179 posts
2/28/2005 5:48 am

Yeah,, I don't do real well in a classroom that expects everyone to compete to be in the top 10% (the actual corporate cutoff.) I just like to figure stuff out and learn things that I can use. Being in the top 10% is a bunch of crap,, from my perspective where I don't get rewarded even if I do pull it off.

[blog Queo0O0o]


rm_toohotque 50M
179 posts
2/28/2005 5:56 am

The game played with creative genius is that they are specially retarded, have problems but some learn to become extremely valuable for special abilities...

In my case everything I create is stolen from me,, I get fired when I accomplish something a little beyond normal. Its a matter of preserving that community circle of consensus regarding mental illness, or status of "specially retarded." There is conflict when I succeed at anything.

-


rm_toohotque 50M
179 posts
2/28/2005 6:17 am

I've actually written a letter to the President suggesting he lower the speed limit on state & local highways to 45 MPH.

Also told him to invade Brazil for environmental reasons.

And that the Milky Way is noticeably less visible where I live.


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