why do men half to be jerks sometimes?  

NC4GT2 46M/41F
31 posts
4/28/2006 1:51 pm

Last Read:
5/24/2006 6:14 pm

why do men half to be jerks sometimes?

no afence to all men, but my husband is really pushing my buttons today, recently he had lost his job, and it has been very stressfull, almost losing our house, well he landed 2 jobs, which im happy about things may be looking up? but i have a chance to get a job also, and he acts like he doesnt want me to work? seeing how much catch up we have to do, you think he would be happy, and encourge me? maybe im taking his vibes wrong? or maybe he doesnt want me to have indepence from him, but i need this extra income right now!!! thanks for letting me blow of so steam lol

rm_aqustic2 44M
1335 posts
4/28/2006 2:18 pm

hello nc4gt you header yea all of us men are jerks all right i think your husband may not just be thinking straight right now as you said you have just being through a stressfull time??? or maybe that fact he lost his job he thinks its his place to get things sorted???? then i am a jerk what would i know??? only kidding you, chill babe your on your way back.

49AK 55M
1823 posts
4/28/2006 3:35 pm

Having been out of work once or twice myself, I now understand something I didn't understand then. Being in a position where you're contributing to the finances of a household (whether in total or in part) and then finding yourself without a job is a very traumatic experience for a man. Even if he explicitly states that he doesn't feel defeated by the loss, every message he was sent by society from the age of two until today is that he's a failure without a job. When he gets things right (he lands two jobs) he sees his rightful place in the universe restored. Perhaps he feels a little threatened by the notion that he can't extract the family from it on his own... and so he can't gracefully accept your role as a working woman.

I'm not making excuses for him, just perhaps shedding some light.

I own my own business now, and I am not so proud that if my partner got a raise that I wouldn't be thrilled (she already works plenty).

LIBlonde97 40F
1028 posts
4/28/2006 4:32 pm

It's even worse when they whole to be jerks!

Maybe his pride is just getting in the way of your desire to help out.

Good luck!


elysianpleasure 47M

4/28/2006 9:33 pm

I think with losing his job... he may be feeling insecure and a little less masculine. We men are prideful creatures. And he may feel that you working and feeling you need to work is a sign that you don't have faith in him and his ability to take of your family. There is a great deal of expectation and pride in being a man. The more you push on it being necessary for your economic survival the more he will likely feel like he is failing... but then again what do i know..

Good luck... Elysian

piamatter 44F

4/29/2006 7:53 am

Hey think about temping. Many times they hire full time, but it will show him it is a temporary situation to help get out of the whole. It will allow you to decide if working and being a mom to all the kids isnt a hardship to any of you. God knows baseball, girlscouts, homework, and household chores can be overwhelming.

Trust your gut instincts. I ve been in this position. His manhood has taken a few hits and you might need to stroke it


want2tasteU1979 37M
6 posts
4/29/2006 1:42 pm

Maybe he is a little woried that if you get a job you want need him. After coming clean about cheating on him and him being out of work he is propably very insecure right now. But you should not let that stop you from helping out just talk to him. well good luck

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