|Blogs > Mun_Dane > Ordinary Things|
I was having a discussion with a co-worker of mine, another teacher, and the topic of the kids we teach and maturity came up. As in, "kids today seem so much more mature today than they did (fill in the blank) years ago."
Personally, I think kids today are a lot more adult than we were a decade ago. But that's not to say they are at all mature. Their whole lives are scheduled from preschool playdates to scouts to music lessons to soccer to varsity cheer squad. Either so Mom and Dad don't have to pay a babysitter (I suspect that actually of a few of my collegues) or to pad that all-important college resume (and the more important but less well known Parenting resume...."Oh your kid sings?? Well mine plays piano, violin, and cello, speaks 4 languages and is applying for his Eagle Scout..." (You know, THAT parenting resume). Kids are also exposed to more adult themes and adult material. Swear words are common on primetime TV, sex and drug use is rampant in movies. Kids don't seem to get a chance to be kids anymore.
Ironically, though, when these kids act like kids, when they get in trouble, when they screw up royally, they don't even get a chance to do some real growing up, because Mom and Dad turn around and fix it for them. There aren't any lasting consequences because Mom and Dad fix everything.
Personal example: A neighbor, and empty nester type, of mine growing up allowed me and my sister to use his pool when he was out of town during the summer. So my sister and I went over often. One day, while playing around his ppol, we accidentally broke a window. My mom expected my sister and I to admit we were wrong to him and his wife, in person, pay for the repairs from our own funds, and be restricted to home until it was repaired. We screwed up and were expected to make it right.
This is not the case today from most kids I see. Basically what we get are a bunch of little adults. Little adults without the maturity to deal with their lives and without the tools to understand the consequences of their actions. But every study that's ever been done, sociologically, medically, psychologically shows that kids are kids, not little adults. Their brains and bodies don't work the same way as adults. So when they try to be adults, it goes bad.
So are they mature, no. Maturity to me is the ability to relate approriately to a situation and respond accordingly. Maturity means accepting responsibility and understanding that the right thing to do frequently isn't the easy thing to do. Keeping kids from being kids actually strips them of the maturity most of us acquired simply by having fun with our friends, getting into trouble, and discovering the adult world at our own pace.
And for those that were expecting a talk about bewbies, sorry. Still haven't got around to that
11/15/2005 7:33 pm
Parents at times , push their child to do all kinds of activities, because they are living vicariously through their children. Just because you can procreate does not make you a decent Dad or Mom. We as adults need to protect our children and support them in their choice of activities. Give our children choices. Encourage them to think and choose for themselves. Children of this age, are forced to face issues , like sexual activity, severe violence in school, drugs much sooner than we ever had to. Having to face these issues, does not make them mature. They are still children who need all the adult direction we can give them. Be involved in your children's life, but let it be their life. Be a good example to your children, they follow what you do more than what you say. Set proper rules and set consequences for infractions of the rules. Be a good listener, be sure your children know you will listen to them and always will love them unconditionally.|