|Blogs > MsBehavinGal > MsBehavin Thoughts|
He is crying. His pillow is soaked. The tears flow from his eyes. It has been many years since he has cried like this. So long .... She has given him the ability to do this. It is so wonderful. Truely it is. His feelings for her are finally emerging in all different ways. He realizes that he is truely in Love. The conversations that they have had before included the thoughts of Love between them. He had said that he loved her, now he has every bit of proof that he truely does Love her. In every possible way. She has brought Love, Beauty, Order and the Resistance to Death that he needed so badly. She should not feel bad for his tears that fall so easily, like the rain on a April morning.
The tears are not from injury or pain, but from healing and Love that she has given him. She is the most amazing woman that he has ever been able to Be with, Touch, Love and Care for. AMAZING. He is realizing it over and over again, to the extent that there is no way that it could be otherwise. The power that she has given him, has made his life seem worth living again. The tears represent that so dearly. He wants her to understand that, truely she must. For without her knowing what he has done and will so the tears must flow. Without them he may have exploded, killing every last part of himself.
As he grips the pillow and the tears turn to rage, rage at those that have not accepted him and his awkwardness. The anger that he released at times has been dangerous. Even to himself. The rage has resurfaced and he must deal with it. For without doing such, he can become someone besides himself. Control is essential, for she has given him the ability to control such strong anger towards others. Without her, he wonders what he was and how he was. HOW. It seems so far away, he wants to just run away with her and never look back. The rain is coming and he must find shelter. She is his shelter and Love. Every step of the way. She is extravagant, in every possible way ............ AMAZING.