I'm on the Divorce Diet...  

MrRoarke2005 51M
103 posts
8/12/2005 10:19 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

I'm on the Divorce Diet...


People are funny. I know this cause I am a member of the club. Not necessarily an exclusive club mind you; walk upright, have an opposable thumb and can belch your name are basically the membership dues.

Why is it as you go through life, you find that you are in your best physical condition when you are single?

I suppose through the mating ritual, one must show their true colors in order to capture the attention of the opposite sex. When the capturing is done though so does the effort in staying condition.

Case in point, when I married my first wife, I was buff. I worked out 4 times a week and continued my body building training that I began in college. I had the fabled six-pack and 3% body fat ratio. When I got divorced, 5 years later, I was pudgy. I picked up 35 lbs and considered it a good workout to walk out to the mailbox 6 times a week.

Then once I was on the market again, I began working out again. Joined a gym, began running 2 miles a day, played softball in the summer 2 nights a week, played indoor volley year-round 2 nights a week, played basketball weekly year round indoors and pickup games nightly outdoors. I was back in form.

When I married this last time, I had fallen into the pudge again. A little slower than before because I kept some of my workout regime intact but had to give up some of it to make you for the new person in my life.

During this marriage, my wife was somewhat obsessed with diets. She tried everyone of them. Whether it would be the grapefruit diet or the raspberry diet or the bacon diet or several other pill diets. Why we have a full cabinet of these product (most of which are atleast half full). Now, she didn't need to lose a pound in my opinion but she felt as though that she need to lose 10 lbs before she was perfect. I should say that she was a size 5 weighing 125lbs and was 5' tall.

Well, when we decided that we were going to get a divorce, things changed for both of us physically. She is down to 100lbs and a size 0 and I'm regaining the shape of my pre-marriage self.

Odd, isn't it? We look our best when we are single and not when we are with those that love us the most.

MrRoarke2005 51M

8/13/2005 2:22 pm

One thing that i did mention to all my avid readers, the term of the diet.

How long must one be on this 'Divorce Diet' before attatinging the desired results? Typically 60days*. Although not all divorce dieters are alike so this may vary.

*The amount of time from petitioning the court to receiving the decree from the state.


MrRoarke2005 51M

8/13/2005 2:31 pm

Valley, nice post.

Sounds like the f/x was really a well fed/x. (insert rimshot* here please).

*For all those from the ALT.com camp that reference is not about licking the ass of another but the sound a drummer makes on a cymbal to indicated someone making a funny and to prompt the audience to clap or laugh on cue.)

This is where I'll insert concern for our larger readers, it is what is inside us that counts, ValleyRat. I'm sure that you realized that by having 3 beautiful children with her.

As far as me, if I get to the point of marriage again (3rd times a charm), I want to find someone that enjoys sports both watching and participating. Anything from canoing to basketball to rock climbing to jogging and so forth. Golf would be nice but that may just be pushing the envelope a bit much. For the record, though, I do not view sunbathing and eating sporting activities.


MrRoarke2005 51M

8/13/2005 6:45 pm

You are absolutely right.

The outside candy coating doesn't determine the level goodness inside.
There are more factors than that. For me, my wife (soon to be ex), is a hottie. She has always ben a hottie. Guys go out of their way to get a glimpse of her.

Another way to look at it,

If the looks were the key to a great marriage the AdultFriendFinder would lose over 1/3 of their members.

No there is more to it than that.

My post concentrated more on the fact that since we are to be placed back out on the market, we need to do a little over-hauling to our external self in order to attract the opposite sex.

In my case, I find myself working out more, eating smarter and sucking in my gut more while walking in public places.

Before, I was in the 'IN' crowd. Now, I fear that my membership will be threaten due to the divorce. See my next BLOG, "On the OUTS with the IN Crowd."


MrRoarke2005 51M

8/13/2005 6:48 pm

I should state too, that beauty comes in all sorts of forms to many different people. Not all prefer 6-pack abs and pecks that can do the jitter bug.

Whoever you want to attract that this the look you need to attain. As long as it is healthy. Some people seem to starve themselves in order to maintain a weight while others seem to eat as much as possible in order to gain weight. Whatever works for you and your health.

Lets face it, dead and diseased ain't pretty no matter how you look at it.


MrRoarke2005 51M

8/14/2005 1:52 pm

I'll disagree to a point on the cost of the candy shell. My candy shell doesn't cost much but I'll agree that it can cost a lot to keep it pretty. My wife loves things that sparkle. So her candy coating is very sparkly and that is where the upkeep comes in.

Now, mind you, most everything I bought her with the exception of the floating diamond hear necklace that she saw on Guiding Light...were my choice and pick. I truly love to buy sparkly things too. So her cost of upkeep (for her candy coating) was as much my doing as it was hers.

For instance, your candy coating looks mighty tasty too.

But the point being is that it is not what is on the outside that determines the overall flavor of the candy. It is the nougat that has has the final say so. If you don't like it then your not going to pick that candy from the box.

Keep in mind too, some candies reveal their nougat soone than others. Take a gobstopper for instance, it could take years to get to its center. All the while you are enjoying all the flavors along the way.

Thanks for the comment.


MrRoarke2005 51M

8/15/2005 6:49 pm

I like to think that I resemble a Twizzler.

I make Mouths Happy!

Ha!


MrRoarke2005 51M

8/17/2005 1:28 pm

My family is not a business, I ain't no pimp and my wife ain't no ho!

Just because we met like that doesn't mean you need to dig up our past and make it seem so dirty!

Just skiddin'

You are all business aren't you Anemone1. Well, I'm glad you have been able to keep your man's attention and vice versa, give the Smithsonian a jingle...they'll want to examine you two.

Oh, I don't mean that I never did my chores but in retrospect my body just doesn't look like it did when I got married 8 years ago. I'm not fat or uglier but things have gotten a little lax in past few years. All that good cooking plus no more (or rather declining interaction with my ratpack) physical action equals increased waistline.

My career began to take off too and so after 60-80 hour weeks, I found that only a quick round of golf or some bowling with the company league was all the activity I got. The last few years, we bought a home with an acre of property. This has given me some physical outlet but not the kind necessary to tone those abs.

Chopping wood, mowing the lawn, trimming trees and yes taking out the garbage. We even have a mini-gym out in the garage but that is just not the same as participating in sports. Sports, it is not like work...thus the term 'workout'.

I believe that we just get settled (key word is settled) in our lives and don't really purposely decide to gain weight and dress in the dark. Just happens. I remember the days when my wife and I would walk around the house naked. Now, we dress in the dark.

Well, I'm back on the courts playing an hour 4 days/wk of hoop, hitting the garage gym (I'm keeping the house) and eating less. it is a long road before me especially at my age.

Again, I appreciate your posts! You are a better person for being able to keep a consisten figure throughout marriage. It is a goal of mine in the future to find someone that is a bit more involved in sports and for me to do a better job with my body during marriage.

But that is a long long way off. Got to get back to my happy place with both mind and body first.


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