CSI Chronicles (customer service incidents)  

rm_MrDark71 46M
37 posts
8/25/2005 12:03 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

CSI Chronicles (customer service incidents)

As a former customer service representative for retail and service businesses I've been exposed to my share of the mundane and trivial.I will be frequently bashing providers of these services in the future I'm sure, but for now i would like to ^5 all of those who have to deal with us "the general public(idiot masses of cattle)". It's so hard everyday to apply your "Price is Right" smile and pamper the same asses you would like to kick from here to the moon, but we/they do.
As a former noodlechucker at a reknown Italian chain restaurant we affectionatly renamed "The Olive Pit", I can attest to the need for humor in an unpleasant working environment. This brings me to the point...about fucking time!
As employees we would have to oblige the corporate monster by providing free of charge a cake and choral arrangement for anyone who claimed it was their birthday. Like little happy zombies we tromp over to the table in a line clapping and delicatly bridge into a happy little number we called "the birthday song"..lemme sing
From the pasta we make, to the lasagna bake, we are here to wish a happy birthday......
We hope you will remember, the fun to last forever, we're wishing you a happy birthday....
It's like family and friends at "the Olive....well you get the picture.
Anyway one night of contagious birthday syndrome, one of my fellow "sauce and toss" team members bursts into the kitchen alley after a damn fine rendition of the birthday song and was stating how sick she was of the whole free cake thing(this means the cheap fucks don't order dessert reducing your already little tip). After a brief rally call "Crazy Christine" improvs a NEW birthday song in an impromtu perfomance to rival the Beatles on the roof of Apple records. She sang......
From the smiles we fake, to your Free fucking cake, don't you really wish it was your birthday...
We hope you can remember, your birthdays not til November, we're wishing you a happy brithday, WHAT THE FUCK??...a new song is born.
After the collective herd of tacky burgandy uniforms picked themselves off the garlic salt laced floor and put all their ribs back into place, she was rewarded with a standing ovation. The managers were in tears. Moments like these are the only things that allow us/them/we to get through another day of stupid questions,bad jokes, and dealing with Mr&Mrs.PainInTheAss and all their little shits.
So if we must perch ourselves on pedestals and belittle the very asses we are wiping, then lets remember when we ARE those ASSES to not allow these antics to bother us as well as make ourselves less of a target and more of "good customer"-LOL
Until next time....Shut the fuck up or I'll ram your breadsticks up my ass before serving them with a "Smile"

nietchze 43M

8/25/2005 9:10 pm

lmfao!! Shove breadsticks up your ass....Tyler would be proud my man. ^5

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