Those Three Little Words  

MissAnnThrope 56F
11679 posts
4/24/2006 12:23 am

Last Read:
7/17/2007 9:05 pm

Those Three Little Words

This is a question for the guys. What is it about the line, "you seem harmless," that offends you so badly?

I learned years ago when I have one idea about sleeping with someone and they have another and aren't about to respect the word no, saying,"you seem harmless," cools their jets faster than a can of mace. Their entire attitude changes. They go from an idiot who thinks no means yes to a scolded child. Their shoulders even drop to a slight slouch.

What is is about us ladies uttering that phrase that causes guys to get their panties in such a knot?

rm_VoodooGuru1 49M
2053 posts
4/24/2006 1:38 am

(You seem harmless) = y
where: y > (You are a weenie)
and y < (You are a limp-dicked fatherless faggot)

MissAnnThrope replies on 4/26/2006 12:46 am:
I never knew there was a mathematical equation for that. Cool!

toothysmile 50M
16515 posts
4/24/2006 2:24 am

~looking up innocently~

oh, but I am harmless...

MissAnnThrope replies on 4/26/2006 12:46 am:
Why do I find that hard to believe?

scarzack 54M
1080 posts
4/24/2006 6:48 am

That’s funny.

You pose a question and tell the ladies how ‒ to. Damn your smart.

I would assume the phrase is so powerful because it is loaded with ambiguity and boundless implications.
The opposite of Harmless would be Harmful. No man really wants to be Harmful to a lady.
The double impact is carried in the implication that Harmless means he is Unable to harm and proving that accusation wrong would be a purposeful expression of Harmful Aggression. I think it is tied in with impotence but much more powerful

It goes beyond acknowledging that the behavior of a gentleman usually walks the fine line between Nice and Romantic. Causing a man to think can keep the seething hump beast at bay.

I could be really really wrong.

MissAnnThrope replies on 4/26/2006 12:47 am:
No, I don't think you're wrong. That actually made sense to me. Especially the implication that he's viewed as impotent, or a sexless creature.

8321 posts
4/24/2006 12:39 pm


The male ego is fragile.

You know this.

When you say "you seem harmless", it takes any semblance of pride the man has in his masculinity and trashes it. Men don't want to be seen as perfectly "safe", takes away some of the aura of danger and unpredictability.

If he's harmless then he might as well be your brother or the gay friend you go shopping with.


"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur

MissAnnThrope replies on 4/26/2006 1:02 am:
Nah. None of them are people I would want to be a gay friend to take shopping. The ones I use this line on tend to turn out to be total devoid of personality when you meet them in person. Who wants to go shopping with that?

blueguy1051 60M

4/24/2006 3:16 pm

Hard to be a he-man neanderthal when the lady thinks you're a pussy cat. Or so I surmise. Personally, harm is not what I'm trying to inflict ...

MissAnnThrope replies on 4/26/2006 1:04 am:
But what woman wants a he-man Neanderthal ? Guys on a macho trip bug the shit out of me.

NickRules999 39M
9462 posts
4/24/2006 4:40 pm

I've never gotten those exact words, but I have gotten, "you seem nice," or, "you sound nice," those phrases. This think it's the assumption that every guy on this site, be it in the chat room, blogs, IM, or email is an ass-grabbing pig.

Or maybe my profile pic suggests a not-so-nice-guy? I'm living proof of "don't judge a book by it's cover."

Come into my realm! You aren't afraid...are you?

MissAnnThrope replies on 4/26/2006 1:07 am:
I never considered "you seem nice" to be the kiss of death. That's one men try to disprove, as they do consider it the kiss of death. But it doesn't seem to be half as emasculating as "you seem harmless."

lifeisablast333 53M

4/24/2006 7:41 pm

cool, I will have to tell my daughters about that trick, I been telling them to say, " I have a Yeast Infection."

MissAnnThrope replies on 4/26/2006 1:08 am:
Heh. "I have a yeast infection" doesn't work half as well as, "I feel a herpes outbreak coming on." But that's a last resort line, if "you seem harmless" doesn't work.

greatnsexy69 46M

4/24/2006 9:15 pm

If I seem harmless to a woman I might as well be her doormat, because that's about how much she'll be thinking of me.

MissAnnThrope replies on 4/26/2006 1:15 am:
No, I don't think of the men I tell that to as doormats. They're just guys that won't take no for an answer and need to hear something that will cool their jets.

im_your_man77 39M
961 posts
4/25/2006 8:41 am

Wouldn't offend me. I would just think you had underestimated me, if that were so that would be when I would be at my most powerful. Surprise is a powerful weapon.

It all depends on the guy's mindset how he responds to such words.

MissAnnThrope replies on 4/26/2006 1:19 am:
Well, that's the point. The phrase in itself is a surprise attack. It's telling him that I trust him and expect nothing to happen that I don't want to happen. As a result, the ego and the penis both deflate.

teddybare426 58M
487 posts
4/25/2006 7:38 pm

Interesting post
Interesting comments

That really works?

Wouldn't need to use it on me, I know the meaning of NO.

I'm a teddybear. I don't feel the need to act macho. I don't define myself by that, so no fragile ego.

I agree with [I'm your man77] "suprise is a powerful weapon"

A truly powerfull man seldom needs to prove it.

MissAnnThrope replies on 4/26/2006 2:25 am:
It really works. Especially with the ones who keep dropping hints and don't quite get that you're changing the subject or moving away as they try to touch you.

BelievesAnything 54F
4 posts
4/26/2006 2:16 am

if You Seem Harmless is an insult, then why is she with you in the first place? A guy is either an agenda weilding dickhead in which case nothing you say - well except maybe that herpes comment thats just Wrong> is going to derail his mission.

Besides, if i'm going somewhere with a guy i dont really know, i aint gonna say oh god I think you may be the new The One and i so do NOT want you thinking of me as some chick you picked up in a bar or online who would.. ya know.. .... so to be sure you know that i am NOT that type of girl, i'm going to rationalize my willingness to be with you even though i dont even know your last name or home phone number by telling you "You Seem Harmless," and that way you will be thinking that i could be that heretofore elusive virgin princess cuz i obviously dont seek guys out for sex while i am thinking god i hope slams me up against the wall and....

hey voodoo.. you seem pretty harmless

24 posts
6/12/2006 2:46 am

My frend says that to people!

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