Praise The Lord & Watch Out For Lightning Strikes!  

MissAnnThrope 56F
11679 posts
5/24/2006 8:35 am

Last Read:
7/9/2008 1:59 pm

Praise The Lord & Watch Out For Lightning Strikes!

Pat Robertson is back in the news. Not because he's claiming God told him a tsunami is going to take out the entire Pacific Northwest. Nope, that story just fell into the cracks, as we all know he's a complete whacko. This time around, it's all about his miracle protein shake.

Yep. Pat Robertson is claiming that drinking this protein shake for breakfast every day is one of the reasons he can leg press 2000 pounds. Nope, that isn't a misprint. The CBN website says he can leg press 2000 pounds. With no damage to his body. No steroids either!

I find his claim hard to believe. For one thing, his gym would most likely have to modify the machine to fit all the weights on. That's what Florida State University had to do when one if their football players decided to break the school record. When Dan Kendra went for the record, as a college athlete, he leg pressed 1335 pounds. The capillaries in his eyes burst. So, a college athlete in his early 20s couldn't do what a 76 year old televangelist is claiming he can do.

This means one of two things. God lifts weights for Pat Robertson, or he's outright lying, to get his followers to drink his shake. Isn't lying against everything he's supposed to stand for?

So dear readers, what sort of false claim to your super human powers would you like to make? I'm claiming that I ran out today, got all the ingredients for this wonder shake and right after I drank it, I was able to lift a fully loaded cargo van over my head! It was loaded with free weights, too!


MissAnnThrope 56F
11488 posts
5/24/2006 8:44 am

I almost forgot to give you all this amazing recipe!

8 oz of fruit juice, or skim milk, or water
5 TBSP soy protein
5 TBSP whey protein
2 TBSP apple cider vinegar
1 TBSP flaxseed oil
1 TBSP safflower oil
2 TBSP soy lethicin
1 tsp MSM powder
1 tsp glutamine powder
5 - 6 frozen (never, ever fresh) strawberries
Sweetener to taste, never sugar or Equal, though
4 - 5 ice cubes

Throw it all in the blender mix and drink.


rm_VoodooGuru1 49M
2053 posts
5/24/2006 9:01 am

Just made one, tastes like ass, but now I can lift a decent sized watermelon... with my cock!

I was thinking of the same thing yesterday after a visit to Dodson's place. They're all about the 10 Commandments, yeah? Well, which of these is addressed in the 10 Commandments: Homo butt-humping or lying?


MissAnnThrope replies on 5/24/2006 1:42 pm:
The correct answer is lying. Then again, committing the seven deadly sins will get you a one way ticket to Hell faster than breaking the commandments. Especially if you don't believe in Purgatory. Robertson is so prideful, he makes the common egomaniac look humble.

BTW, how do you know what ass tastes like?

DIVISION77 39M
8324 posts
5/24/2006 9:52 am

He was kidding, right?

I've hit 900lbs on legpress a few times in the past, and I have been doing this for years.

Pat Robertson is obviously reaching.....by a few hundered pounds at least.

At his age, even in the best condition, he probably gets around 200-300lbs for reps.....that's it.

DIV

"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur


MissAnnThrope replies on 5/24/2006 1:45 pm:
Yes, but you're how many years younger? Don't you know, he's been weight training since before you were born and has been building up to the one ton mark since he was but a wee lad? That he and Jack LaLanne have contests, but they don't publicize them, as Robertson always wins and he doesn't want to make LaLanne look like a pussy? When you're 76, you'll finally be able to press what he does!

I'm sure if he takes enough flack, he will claim it was a misprint and should have said 200 pounds. But he has a flock of braindead ultra-conservative Christians to impress.

PrincessKarma 43F
6188 posts
5/24/2006 10:22 am

I think someone told him an uncharitable lie and he fell for it

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma


MissAnnThrope replies on 5/24/2006 1:46 pm:
Well, you know at his age, no matter what kind of physical condition you're in, the eyes aren't what they were at 25. So, he couldn't see the numbers on the weights and fell for what he was told.

digdug41 49M

5/24/2006 10:32 am

dont even know who he is never heard of him. I guess this is why LOL

roaming the cyber streets of blogland


MissAnnThrope replies on 5/24/2006 2:07 pm:
You've never heard of Pat Robertson? The man who runs the 700 Club? The man who said fags are the reason NOLA was hit by Katrina? The man who is saying God told him a tsunami is going to destroy the Pacific Northwest this year? The man who said 9/11 was to punish this country for allowing abortions? The man who is calling for the assassination of Chavez? The man who said Ariel Sharon's stroke was God's punishment for him giving land back to Palestine? We have to get you up to speed on this man!

He owns CBN, the Christian Broadcasting Network. He's been a televangelist for years and also did his best to do the faith healing bit. He made a bid for the Presidency in 1998, but he did NOT do well in the Republican primaries, even in bible beating states. He claimed Bush derailed him, by creating the Swaggart and Bakker sex scandals that broke while he was running. The man is a hate monger, who encourages violence in the name of God and the United States.

dirtynastygirl2 54F

5/24/2006 11:02 am

Well I grew a penis..always wanted one! More fun to play with myself. I'll have to write him and thank him for such a blessing.

Personally I find him quite ignorant.


MissAnnThrope replies on 5/24/2006 2:09 pm:
Hallejullah Sister! Um, wait, you have a penis now. Brother? No, that's not right either...

I don't just find him ignorant, he's arrogant beyond a fault. Former employees all say he suffers from delusions of grandeur, on an actual mental health level.

HBowt2 59F

5/24/2006 11:41 am

super human powers....naw...just want to be a super human....


MissAnnThrope replies on 5/24/2006 2:10 pm:
Aw, come on! Join us and drink the Kool-Aid, er, I mean power shake! I had another for lunch and now I can lift a fully loaded 18-wheeler... With my tongue!

lifeisablast333 54M

5/24/2006 2:16 pm

Holy Horse Crap, maybe God helped him....LOL....I have a saying
" If it sounds like bullshit, then no way can that old fart leg press 2000 lbs!"....the REDNECK


MissAnnThrope replies on 5/24/2006 5:33 pm:
Yeah, it definitely sounds like bullshit to me.

flagg134 36M
1582 posts
5/24/2006 2:59 pm

Wow ann it really works I was able to leap over my building in a single bound. However the side effects are killer I had to sneeze and it just blew away everyone on the block and uprooted all the trees.

~Shakes Head~ I can't fathom how there are still people out there that listen to this guy. Its depressing how clueless and blind some people are.

RF


MissAnnThrope replies on 5/24/2006 5:35 pm:
Please tell me you blew away the clueless tourists in Times Square. You know the ones. The ones who stop dead in the middle of the sidewalk to take pictures of their entire tour group under some sign.

See, his followers don't know that it's a load of crap, as they're so broke from sending him checks that none of them can afford a gym membership.

papyrina 51F
21133 posts
5/24/2006 3:29 pm

wow there's plenty of crap in that mixture,i can lift 100 ilbs ,but i reguarly work out and that was before i hurt my knees mind lifing the weight didn't help them
what an idiot


I'm a

and
i'm here to stay


MissAnnThrope replies on 5/24/2006 5:37 pm:
*sigh* If you hadn't hurt your knees, well, I have furniture I need moved around. Maybe you should try the super shake and see if it heals your legs.

papyrina 51F
21133 posts
5/24/2006 3:30 pm

oops kilos


I'm a

and
i'm here to stay


MissAnnThrope replies on 5/24/2006 5:38 pm:
Oh my!

RevJoseyWales 69M/66F
14393 posts
5/24/2006 3:40 pm

I drank one of them and checked the tire pressure in all my cars. Yep, all four tires. Oh wait a minute, that wansn't the shake. It was...... Never mind. Oh hell, Ann, we're talking about Pat Robertson here. He and the truth have only a nodding aquaintence at best. PUT THE CRACK PIPE DOWN, PAT. I've lifted a lot of weights, and I can tell you true, 2000 lbs, well, Pat got some seriously good hallucinagenics, and took every fucking one. But we all know he a blithering idiot. Things must be rough at CBN. Even his "supporters" are starting to see thru him. Which is REALLY pathetic. And this is 'A man of God"? Is this what Christianity is really about? Is THIS their spokesman?

"McVeigh had the right idea, wrong address."

"This ain't Dodge City, and you ain't Bill Hickok."


MissAnnThrope replies on 5/24/2006 5:45 pm:
No, please... What were you drinking? And how was the tire pressure?

cuteNEway 41F

5/24/2006 3:49 pm

I can run a marathon on my hands while making my legs scissor and whistling Dixie in C Minor...

tee hee


MissAnnThrope replies on 5/24/2006 5:46 pm:
Damn it! You need another one! Dixie was written in a major key, not a minor key!

cuteNEway 41F

5/24/2006 3:54 pm

OH YEAH and...
PURPLE KOOL-AID ROCKS!!


MissAnnThrope replies on 5/24/2006 5:53 pm:
See, that's why you were singing in a minor key. You used Kool-Aid instead of fruit juice.

NickRules999 39M
9464 posts
5/24/2006 4:14 pm

I wouldn't trust Pat Robertson as far as I could throw him. I'd throw him, though.

Wasn't this guy reported to have embezzled money some years ago, or was that some other guy? I guess being a man of god, he gets to do that.

Come into my realm! You aren't afraid...are you?


MissAnnThrope replies on 5/24/2006 5:55 pm:
I think you're thinking of Jim Bakker. Who's dog had a $10,000 air conditioned dog house. When Robertson was running for President, he insisted people call him a businessman and not a preacher.

rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
5/24/2006 4:22 pm

I can't. Can't. Pat and Robertson in the same sentence. Sorry. Will return at another time.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


JuicyBBW1001 54F

5/24/2006 4:24 pm

sounds like a page outta the Oral Robert's school of publicity making class

Juicy


MissAnnThrope replies on 5/24/2006 5:57 pm:
Heh. If he doesn't drink this shake and leg press 2000 pounds, God will call him home?

rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
5/24/2006 4:24 pm

The man friggin' EPITOMIZES the worst kind of evil that exists and I aughgg --

oh man, someone pull me away from this tangent, puh-leezee...

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


MissAnnThrope replies on 5/24/2006 5:57 pm:
Don't hold back. Tell us how you really feel.

rm_Verticalman4 33M

5/24/2006 4:46 pm

I'm from a country, New Zealand, that has this modern system called metrics. Figured out 2000 pds is 900 kgs. No-one could lift that, let alone a pensioner.


MissAnnThrope replies on 5/24/2006 5:58 pm:
Yeah. I know no one can lift that. If a college athlete had the blood vessels in his eyes rupture at 1335 pounds, there's no way Robertson is lifting that weight.

RevJoseyWales 69M/66F
14393 posts
5/24/2006 6:07 pm

Remember I don't drink Ann. And the pressure was fine (I think)thank you. Remember the old Sam Kinison bit about God and Pat? He's truly an embarassment to Christians, Republicans (and it's REALLY hard to embarass either), AND humans. Just how stupid does one have to be to listen to him? Just WAY TOO easy a target.

"McVeigh had the right idea, wrong address."

"This ain't Dodge City, and you ain't Bill Hickok."


MissAnnThrope replies on 5/25/2006 6:15 am:
Yeah, but I still want to know what you were drinking when you checked the tire pressure, especially if it wasn't this miraculous protein shake.

I don't remember the Sam Kinnison routine, as a matter of fact, I had forgotten about him altogether. I don't get it, but people really do believe every word out of Robertson's mouth. I can almost see the horns growing out of the man's head.

rm_VoodooGuru1 49M
2053 posts
5/24/2006 6:47 pm


MissAnnThrope replies on 5/24/2006 4:42 pm:
The correct answer is lying. Then again, committing the seven deadly sins will get you a one way ticket to Hell faster than breaking the commandments. Especially if you don't believe in Purgatory. Robertson is so prideful, he makes the common egomaniac look humble.

BTW, how do you know what ass tastes like?


Seven Deadly Sins/Seven Cardinal Virtues, Purgatorio/Limbo are all Catholic concepts that Protestants (like Roberts) pay no nevermind.

I saw a supersize bumper sticker the other day in the middle of the deck lid on this car with no other stickers.

THE KING JAMES BIBLE
IS GOD'S PERFECT WORD!


I would expect to see something like this in Alabama, but not 'round these parts. Here it's bordering on being inflamatory given the huge Catholic population.

BTW, I know you know this and that 1998 was a typo, but Robertson ran in 1988.


MissAnnThrope replies on 5/25/2006 6:18 am:
I really don't get the people who think the KJV is God's word. By the time that was written, the Bible had been through so many changes that the version it was written from was flawed. Was it an old man in a hat? You might have been driving behind Jack Chick.

I can't believe I made that error in the year. Yes, I did mean to type 1988. But you still haven't told us how you know what ass tastes like.

flagg134 36M
1582 posts
5/24/2006 9:36 pm

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/24/2006 8:35 pm:
Please tell me you blew away the clueless tourists in Times Square. You know the ones. The ones who stop dead in the middle of the sidewalk to take pictures of their entire tour group under some sign.

See, his followers don't know that it's a load of crap, as they're so broke from sending him checks that none of them can afford a gym membership.


Rofl how did you know I also got some of those jehovahs witnesses handing out pamphlets. That should make Pat Robertsons day. Strange though no one said "God Bless You" to me.

RF


MissAnnThrope replies on 5/25/2006 6:23 am:
Cool! Next time you sneeze though, could you get the Scientologists in the subway, please?

Transblucency 44M

5/24/2006 9:41 pm

Fucking Pat Robertson. Him, Falwell and Dobbo should be pleased because between the three of them, the saviour's name is rarely far from my lips.

Also, he should know that soy protein sucks.


MissAnnThrope replies on 5/25/2006 6:25 am:
The article that went along with the recipe said something about how animal protein is bad for you. Yeah, I have trouble believing Robertson is a veghead.

blueguy1051 60M

5/25/2006 12:44 am

Personally, I think that Robertson has an equal amount of honesty and integrity as Rush. I believe everything they say. After all, they're Christians!

Pass the kool aid, Brother Jones!


MissAnnThrope replies on 5/25/2006 6:26 am:
Would you like grape or cherry?

RevJoseyWales 69M/66F
14393 posts
5/25/2006 10:48 am

Grape if you please Ann. Sam did a bit about God tt Pat on his first HBO special (which, btw, was his best), and part of it involved waking him up at 3AM to check the tire pressures on his car. One of my all timne favorite comedians.

Please do not insult demons by referring to Robertson as one of them. Tehy do have SOME integrity, as opposed to pat, who has NONE.

Keep this up, and some people here will be calling YOU a godless marxist/communist.

"McVeigh had the right idea, wrong address."

"This ain't Dodge City, and you ain't Bill Hickok."


MissAnnThrope replies on 5/25/2006 11:11 am:
Nah, most people know Robertson is a sham. I never saw any of Kinnison's HBO specials, cable didn't come to my neck of the woods until the 90s. Well, the 90s was when they were willing to hook up those of use more than 100 feet from the road.

MissAnnThrope 56F
11488 posts
5/25/2006 11:11 am

OK, the plot thickens. It seems that WAS NOT a typo on the CNB website. Pat Robertson's publicist, Christopher A. Roslan, sent this to CBS Sports, as they questioned his ability:

"Pat Robertson worked out at the gym on an incline leg press machine with weights up to 570 pounds. Working with his physician, who was an amazing strength trainer, he worked up to 800 pounds, then 1,000 pounds. Then one day he was able to leg press 1,500 pounds one time. Then over the succeeding months, he trained with multiple reps of 1,200 pounds, 1,300 pounds, and 1,400 pounds.

"One Saturday morning, his physician said, 'I'll get you bragging rights. Let¹s go to 2,000 pounds.' Then he worked up multiple reps of 1,400 pounds, 1,500 pounds, 1,600 pounds, 1,700 pounds, 1,800 pounds and 1,900 pounds. When 2,000 pounds was put on the machine two men got on either side and helped push the load up, and then let it down on Mr. Robertson, who pushed it up one rep and let it go back down again.

"Mr. Robertson warms up now at 500 pounds, and was shown on television with Kristi Watts doing 1,000 pounds.

His doctor, by the way, has leg pressed 2,700 pounds. It is not nearly as hard as the authors of these reports make it out to be. We have multiple witnesses to the 2,000 pound leg press, plus video of the 10 reps of 1,000 pounds."


Transblucency 44M

5/25/2006 12:56 pm

They just can't help themselves, can they?

Frankly, when Pat Robertson does a single 2K press that's independently verified, I'll become an evangelical Christian.


MissAnnThrope replies on 5/26/2006 8:37 am:
Heh. A friend of mine told me he wants to see Robertson do a 2000 pound leg press, just to see his spinal cord pop up through is skull.

Transblucency 44M

5/25/2006 1:00 pm

Actually, I'm skeptical that he can manage 500 lbs. I've seen how that dopey fucker dodders around the set of the 700 Club.

Of course, I realize now that it's because of the muscle stiffness he's feeling after his 2K press.


RevJoseyWales 69M/66F
14393 posts
5/25/2006 4:41 pm

Shame, you'd LOVE the first one. It's out there on VHS I know. Nah. I know from my experience in the rasslin' business, 1000 is a lot of weight for ONE rep, much less the numbers they're talking about. Do these people REALLY expect anyone to believe this? Yeah, I guess they do. They're called Republicans. Is Pat a "compassionate conservative? Just wondering. Joe

"McVeigh had the right idea, wrong address."

"This ain't Dodge City, and you ain't Bill Hickok."


MissAnnThrope replies on 5/26/2006 8:38 am:
The people who believe him are the ones who sent him a check and found their hemmeroids cured!

RevJoseyWales 69M/66F
14393 posts
5/25/2006 4:57 pm

If you MUST know. What we call "Portobello Tea" Admittedly this goes back a couple years or so. Have a great weekend! Joe

"McVeigh had the right idea, wrong address."

"This ain't Dodge City, and you ain't Bill Hickok."


MissAnnThrope replies on 5/26/2006 8:39 am:
Portabello, eh? Uh-huh... I believe they're the shrooms you were using.

TechSteve 49M

5/26/2006 5:13 am

My drink is better.

After I blend a mix of exlax, pepsi, gatorade, and some green tea, I am able to beat a hummer going up on a mountain on my bicycle. LOL

The only thing that works to get you more fit is to eat right and gradually challenge your body.

These shakes, bars, pills, etc are there to separate the gullible from their money.

Steve


MissAnnThrope replies on 5/26/2006 8:40 am:
I'm guessing there's a men's room at the top of the hill.

RevJoseyWales 69M/66F
14393 posts
5/26/2006 10:59 am

    Quoting TechSteve:
    My drink is better.

    After I blend a mix of exlax, pepsi, gatorade, and some green tea, I am able to beat a hummer going up on a mountain on my bicycle. LOL

    The only thing that works to get you more fit is to eat right and gradually challenge your body.

    These shakes, bars, pills, etc are there to separate the gullible from their money.

    Steve
Nah, I'll stick to my "tea". Yes Ann, you are correct in sussing the code. And yes you can make 'shroom tea. Trust me.

"McVeigh had the right idea, wrong address."

"This ain't Dodge City, and you ain't Bill Hickok."


teddybare426 58M
487 posts
5/27/2006 8:49 am

Missann

Refer to your quote about curing hemmeroids........

I thought people like him caused them, not cured them[he's a pain in the ass]

If he really did try to press much weight, his would look like a banana. Among other side affects.


Transblucency 44M

6/2/2006 7:20 am

OK, so I got the definitive answer on the leg press thing (if anyone still cares).

There's footage of him doing 1000 lbs on the 700 club, and there's a photo of him doing 2000 doing the rounds.

Surprise, surprise, there are some serious problems with his claim.

The video footage shows him moving the plates - but in a really short `up-and-down' range of motion. Rather appropriately, in little jerks if you will.

A leg press is supposed to be legs all the way down to your chest and back up. He's hardly bending his knees. It's like doing a press up with your knees on the ground - it's not really the same excercise.

He's also assisting with his hands by pushing. The fact he can move them at all is reasonably impressive, but he's really not doing a leg press, or threatening any power lifters.

And in the pic where he's "pressing' 2K, the safety bar on the rack is visibly engaged. You know, the bar that allows you to take full control of the footplate by giving it its range of motion under the weight.

If you can't take the safety off, you're not using the machine.


MissAnnThrope replies on 6/2/2006 10:48 am:
This is too good! Thanks! Now I want to see the footage myself, so I can make fun of the man while I watch!

BLUEMOONPASSIONS 57M/52F
24 posts
6/12/2006 2:56 am

A friend he lifs weights ad says he dose not think so!


MissAnnThrope replies on 6/13/2006 11:30 pm:
Heh. Well, the pictures and video show he can't. Your friend is right.

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