In The Name Of God, Think What You're Doing!  

MissAnnThrope 56F
11679 posts
8/16/2006 8:26 am

Last Read:
8/22/2006 4:44 am

In The Name Of God, Think What You're Doing!

For the past few years, Hollywood has been remaking classic horror movies. In general, my attitude has been who cares, the movies have basically not done well, in a lot of cases, people discover the original.

The list of movies they've remade is long. Carnival of Souls, Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, House of Wax, The Omen, The Hills Have Eyes, The Haunting, 13 Ghosts, Psycho, Willard... the list goes on. It's not just horror movies. The Front Page has been remade twice, first in the 40s as His Girl Friday and then in the 80s as Broadcast News. It isn't a new trend. Bunny Lake Is Missing has been remade twice in the last few years, first as The Forgotten and then as Flight Plan. But now, they're remaking it again, with Reese Witherspoon in the lead.

But getting back to horror, I wish they'd leave movies alone. Wes Craven is living up to his name and is planning a remake of Last House On The Left. There are plans to remake Suspiria, Silent Night, Deadly Night, Uwe Boll is trying to get the go ahead to remake Bergman's The Seventh Seal. But none of these are bothering me nearly as much as the horror, the blight on humanity, the crime against cinema that's being released on September 1.

They've remade Anthony Shaffer's The Wicker Man.

To quote Sgt Howie, the main character of the original, "In the name of God, think what you're doing! Oh Lord, Oh Jesus Christ! Oh my God, CHRIST! No, no dear God! No, CHRIST!"

Christopher Lee and Ingrid Pitt have spoken out against this remake. Edward Woodward, who had the lead, refused a role in the remake. Robin Hardy, the original director and co-writer, (even though he didn't take a writing credit on the original,) sued to have his name taking off this project. They have good reason too.

Robin Hardy has been asking to see a script for the last year and still hasn't seen one, even though they told him it was on its way. He actually has the right to block the release in Europe, under a Moral Rights clause, having to do with owning copyright. So far, he's said he isn't going to do it, but I wish he would.

The original is a classic. It is a masterpiece. It was meant to be the anti-Hammer horror film, in spite of the fact Christopher Lee was cast as Lord Summerisle. While the company that made it removed it from consideration at Cannes for whatever reason, it was considered too risky, it won the Saturn Award that year. It was a hit with the critics and what audiences got to see it. The studio kept doing nasty things to it, chopping it up and it was years before an unedited version was around.

The original script had an amazing amount of research put into it and was very accurate into the practices of old cultures. The folk song sound track was researched too, everything sounds traditional. However, with current audiences, they're asked to think while watching the original and they consider the folk music, "hippie music." It was anything but and they do need to do some research into traditional music of Europe before making such claims. This was not a Peter, Paul and Mary or Pete Seeger soundtrack.

For those of you who haven't seen the original, the plot is a very basic mystery plot. A very chaste and moral cop, who is also a lay minister, is called to an island off the coast of Scotland, to investigate the disappearance of a 12 year old girl, named Rowan Morrison. She's been missing for months and the anonymous letter writer needs someone as good and moral as this particular cop, as the natives of the island are strange people.

Well, he's already got his own thoughts about the island, as they're allowed to sing and dance on Sundays there. When he gets there, he's offended by the fact that they've all grasped the paganism of their forefathers and there's not a Christian to be found on the island. He's also offended by the open sexuality of the people on the island, as he is a middle aged virgin, saving himself for marriage.

The original movie is very sexual. It takes place around the May Day celebrations on the island. The fertility rituals are in full swing.

Now the remake. From the commercials and the trailer, I can tell you it doesn't come close to resembling the original. We have it taking place on an island off of Washington State and it's a Dianic cult. Men? There don't seem to be many on this island.

The sexual overtones and the "hippie" soundtrack have been removed, in favor of CGI effects, blood and killer bees. KILLER BEES??? Oh, Neil LaBute, the man behind Nurse Betty got his hands on this project. He's directing and he rewrote the script. He said it's not a tribute, but a reworking. And rework it they did.

No longer is our main character a chaste man, but he's an alcoholic neo-con cop with a past with one of the women on the island. Seems the missing girl this time is his daughter. We find that out at the end of the trailer, when we hear a small voice ask, "daddy?" Now, in 1972 when the original was made, a chaste, middle aged man was an anomaly. It still is. However, neo-con cops are a dime a dozen.

Not to mention, in the original, you don't find out the deal with the wicker man or what it is until the end. In the trailers for the remake, you have him asking around as to who the wicker man is. Basically, it no longer resembles the original.

Another problem I have with this is Neil LaBute. Not just the way I can see he's destroyed the script, and thrown in the Hollywood version of paganism, but the fact we have a Mormon at the helm. So of course we're going to get that neo-con cop who sometimes goes to church good, neo-pagans evil and practicing satanism. As a matter of fact, the scenes from the trailer show they're turning it into a satanic thing, not an agrarian society entrenched in the old ways.

I urge anyone who plans on seeing the remake to see the original first. Which has a basically fair representation of the history of paganism in Europe, without any dogma thrown in, in spite of the fact the cop is a good Christian. It is a battle of cultures, not a battle of good and evil. No bad guys vs. good guys, it just was what it was.

To those of you who find the original slow, yeah, well, if you want slow, just throw in the American remake of Ringu or The Blair Witch Project and tell me that they're not slower.

Yes, my panties are in a bunch over this. So what you say, it's only a horror movie. OK, let's remake and miscast some classics that won other awards, and/or were critically acclaimed.

How about Raging Bull, with Keanu Reeves in the lead?

How about Network with Paul Shore in the Peter Finch part?

How about Bonnie and Clyde with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan?

How about A Streetcar Named Desire with Robin Williams playing Stanley?

How about Barry Lyndon with Matt Damon?

Any of you have any other suggestions?

John Huston once said, "There is a willful lemming-like persistence in remaking past successes time after time. They can't make them as good as they are in our memories, but they go on doing them and each time it's a disaster. Why don't we remake some of our bad pictures? I'd love another shot at 'Roots of Heaven' - and make them good?"

I wish Hollywood would listen

2daycowboywanted 45F

8/16/2006 8:59 am

LOL - imagine the world if they did!

Until later

MissAnnThrope replies on 8/17/2006 7:07 am:
Then we'd actually all go to the movies, instead of renting old stuff on Netflix.

keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
8/16/2006 9:02 am

I have never heard that quote before, but it certainly seems logical to me.

I'm still waiting for a "new millenium" Casablanca to be cast.

MissAnnThrope replies on 8/17/2006 7:09 am:
Well, I got that quote from his biography material on the IMDb.

Let's see... The new Casablanca... Oh come on. You know they'd use Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, or John Cusack and whoever the flavor of the week in Hollywood happens to be.

velvetgrrrl 39F

8/16/2006 9:02 am

I find that is one thing I have had the biggest difficulty with. The remake of horror movies. Even the Ring was originally a japanese horror flick called Ringu. And several countless others that have been remoade as well. I couldn't watch the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre it took away from the original. I did watch The Hills have Eyes because Wes Craven took an active involvement in HIS OWN MOVIE.
Taking the classics though like 13 Ghosts or House on Haunted Hill which was a fantastic film with one of my favourites, Vincent Price is a HUGE undertaking in my opinion. It blows my mind that they would take great classics that have their eerie almost innocent horror appeal, strong with the power of suggestion like Carnival of Souls and remake it into some type of "Blockbuster" in order to attract the newer generation of movie goers' Miss Ann I'm going to go find the original Wicker man as it sounds fascinating. I may still see the new one but at least I know where the original roots lie.

Hell is when u should have walked away, but u didn't.

MissAnnThrope replies on 8/17/2006 7:14 am:
Yes, they keep remaking Japanese horror flicks for kids who can't read. The Ring, Dark Water, The Grudge, I'm pretty sure they remade The Eye too. I completely forgot about the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake. I haven't seen that either. But why is Wes Craven remaking all his old movies? He's remaking Last House On The Left now. He's also announced a remake of the Nicholas Roeg classic, Don't Look Now. He's calling it, The Waiting. The man is truly living up to his last name.

I wish they'd remake some crappy horror movies that could have been good, with a budget and people who can act. We've all seen those. Leave the classics alone!

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
8/16/2006 9:08 am

Schindler's List with Keanu Reeves would be good... "Nazi's......Whoooooa"

Patrick Swazye as The Godfather

Lorenzo Lamas in the remake of Scarface........Im killin myself here

MissAnnThrope replies on 8/17/2006 7:16 am:
OMG, you're as sick as I am! Why aren't we working on a script or a novel together?


8/16/2006 9:14 am

John Huston once said, "There is a willful lemming-like persistence in remaking past successes time after time. They can't make them as good as they are in our memories, but they go on doing them and each time it's a disaster. Why don't we remake some of our bad pictures? I'd love another shot at 'Roots of Heaven' - and make them good?"

I wish Hollywood would listen

Amen! said with no good VS evil overtones just in agreement

just a squirrel trying to get a nut

MissAnnThrope replies on 8/17/2006 7:17 am:
Or at least go back to making endless movies based on sitcoms. There are so many they haven't touched yet.

rm_connor696 60M
834 posts
8/16/2006 12:16 pm


Anything else I might say would simply be redundant.

MissAnnThrope replies on 8/17/2006 7:21 am:

keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
8/16/2006 12:27 pm

I saw three episodes of that BG series LoveSpell, and I agree with you. The characters were far more interesting and the acting is obviously superior.

(What the fuck is this shit..?? *rolls eyes*)

8/16/2006 12:37 pm

I haven't seen that movie (The Wicker Man) but now you have me curious so I'll have to check it out....The only thing Hollywood listens to is the "Sound Of Money"...Great Post...Ready


MissAnnThrope replies on 8/17/2006 7:25 am:
You have to see it. But as far as money goes, when a movie costs $25M to make and only grosses $50M, such as with The Omen remake, is it considered all that profitiable?

rm_Ptalk1155 34M
3450 posts
8/16/2006 12:50 pm

Horror movies suck regardless.

But I have to say Hollywood has run completely out of ideas. They're about to ruin two of my favorite trilogies (Indiana Jones and Die Hard) by putting out sequels.

And I really wouldn't care about them finally getting around to comic books, video games, and anime if they could stop using "artistic license" to take everything that was good out of the original in favor of the same dumbass Hollywood cliches. (The only exception being the two Spider-Man films.)

But the question of the year is really, how terrible is Snakes on a Plane going to be? I predict an instant cult classic.

MissAnnThrope replies on 8/17/2006 7:33 am:
Hey! Some of us like horror movies. They're not nearly as scary as the news, though.

Isn't Harrison Ford getting a bit old to play Indiana Jones? And there have been three Die Hard movies, so I don't see what another sequel hurts. But wait... In a few years, there will be the Indiana Jones prequel... Then you can really have nightmares!

I don't bother with the movies based on comic books. I think the only one I went to see was From Hell. I didn't even know it was based on a *ahem* graphic novel. The ones based on video games? I haven't bothered with those either.

Now Snakes On A Plane... I'm betting audiences are disappointed when they discover they're watching high camp instead of a standard action movie. I'm interested in knowing how a crate of snakes got into the overhead compartment to begin with. Then again, the TSA is in charge of screening...

cuteNEway 41F

8/16/2006 1:11 pm

sounds like a great movie! The old one of course. Why haven't you subjected me to it yet?

MUST find this movie and watch!!

MissAnnThrope replies on 8/17/2006 7:37 am:
You fell asleep during Repo Man! So of course I haven't subjected you to this.

But come on over and we can pop it in the player. Just don't expect to see the theatrial version too. The box set DVD will only play the extended remastered version. It's a known problem and one that they never fixed for people who own the set. Normally Anchor Bay will do recalls on stuff like that.

free2chose2 66F

8/16/2006 1:55 pm

Hate horror movies
Who shall take Clark Gables's role in "Gone with the wind"?
Nick Cage?

Don't worry, be Happy

MissAnnThrope replies on 8/17/2006 7:38 am:
I love horror movies. And don't be silly. They're going to get either Johnny Depp or Ben Affleck to pay Rhett Butler.

TheQuietGuy2005 54M
2386 posts
8/16/2006 2:03 pm

The original is a truly wonderful, one-of-a-kind film. The sad thing is that I will have to watch the remake just so I can bitch about it properly.

You mentioned "Dawn of the Dead". I can't help being reminded of "Shaun of the Dead", not least because I watched it yesterday. It's not a remake but a very English spoof. I loved it ... though I suspect it may not travel well

MissAnnThrope replies on 8/17/2006 7:40 am:
Yeah, I'm going to have to see the remake to bitch properly too. I'll probably want to go on a killing spree after seeing it. Perhaps I should wait for it to come out on DVD...

I loved Shaun of the Dead. It made it here and did very well and is always on cable. It travels very well.

NickRules999 39M
9462 posts
8/16/2006 4:09 pm

I'm afraid that these guys aren't gonna leave anything else alone.

They better not touch Nightmare On Elm Street, coz who could fill Robert Englund's shoes in the Freddy role? No one!

They better not touch Friday the 13th, coz if they remake the first, they might as well remake the sequels, as well, coz the original killer was Jason's mother, but when we think of that film series, we think of Jason, hockey mask and all. Better to make a sequel. Plus, anyone can play Jason. He wears a mask.

They better not touch Halloween for similar reasons explained above. John Carpenter directed the first and co-wrote the second and third. He didn't have a hand in the sequels that followed. Plus, who else could play Dr Loomis? I coubt anyone but Donald Pleasance can, and he's dead. Film producers are better off making another sequel if they wanna bring Michael Myers to the masses again.

They better not touch Texas Chainsaw Massacre coz...whoops!! Too late! They already did it. The original was better. Though I liked R. Lee Ermy in the remake. He's a great pyscho redneck.

I loved Land Of The Dead. It was a great movie.

Come into my realm! You aren't afraid...are you?

MissAnnThrope replies on 8/17/2006 7:48 am:
Thanks for reminding me to add Land of the Dead to my Netflix queue. But that was another sequel, not exactly a remake.

Robert Englund is still playing Freddie. I mean, the one studio started that villian vs. villian franchise. Not to mention, I'm sure Wes Craven will make another Nightmare on Elm St.

Now, you've just gone and destroyed Friday the 13th for anyone who hasn't seen it yet. I hope you're proud of yourself, young man. The Halloween franchise continues, too. How many have there been so far?

When they decide to remake Theatre of Blood, I'm going to start firebombing movie production companies.

rm_AnOddGirl 57F
3469 posts
8/16/2006 4:56 pm

Yes, there is not a lot of originality left in HorryWood...

MissAnnThrope replies on 8/17/2006 7:50 am:
No, there really isn't. Originality happens in independent movies, it would seem, then the studios rush to do clones, instead of hiring creative people.

real36CgirlPA 37F

8/16/2006 5:36 pm

I actually liked the Texas Chainsaw "remake", but was pretty much a different movie. The Wicker Man remake sounds like pure diarrhea though.

MissAnnThrope replies on 8/17/2006 7:51 am:
I haven't seen The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake yet. But check the trailer on the IMDb for the new Wicker Man. It will give you fits.

Transblucency 44M

8/16/2006 7:47 pm

Horrible remakes are one thing; I also enjoy unnecessary sequels (Jaws II, Blair Witch Project II, Rocky II, First Blood Part II, etc).

I am waiting for Chariots Of Fire II: Tokyo Drift. It will have a techno remake of the Chariots of Fire theme song, Eric Liddell fall to his knees in the rain in slow motion to shout "noooooOOOOOooooo" at least twice, and his hot stripper girlfriend will say "Can't you see? You're pushing him too hard!"

MissAnnThrope replies on 8/17/2006 7:53 am:
You know, I think you should pitch that sequel to the studios.

So are you waiting for the Phantasm prequel too? They'd better hurry it up. Angus Scrimm isn't getting any younger.

MissAnnThrope replies on 8/17/2006 7:54 am:
Oh yeah... Since we've had Pinhead in space, Leprechaun in space, etc, I think we need The Blair Witch in space.

lifeisablast333 53M

8/16/2006 8:38 pm

I agree.......the redneck

MissAnnThrope replies on 8/17/2006 7:53 am:

economickrisis 54M

8/17/2006 12:58 am

Its not only the remakes; I find it very hard to see much merit in most of the product coming out of the major studios, other than the work of a few very talented directors and actors. Its got to a point where I will rather risk wasting time on a potentially poor low-budget film by an independent than spend time watching a large budger remake rehash. Isnt it amazing how often the quality of the work is inversely proportional to the promotional budget.

MissAnnThrope replies on 8/17/2006 7:58 am:
But I bet you're looking forward to Snakes On A Plane simply for the camp factor.

The studios have lost their minds. They think that we're stupid enough that we only care about something based on something else. But if the movie is old enough, there are younger types who will think the rehash is wonderful. Like Identity. Everyone raved about how wonderful and original it was. It was And Then There Were None/Ten Little Indians with a little twist added. "Agatha who? Christie? Never heard of her." Ugh.

BaronessK 52F

8/17/2006 1:01 am

How about someone trying to remake a Hitchcock film? They couldn't do it, not without totally changing it, and of course at that point screwing it up beyond belief...into a horror about horror. There was a joke in Red Dwarf about a remake of Casa Blanca, and I find it rather a scary thought. Now the joke about there being a missing FIRST page to the Bible saying something to the effect that 'all persons living or dead are' fictional etc....okay, so I have a warped sense of humor!

MissAnnThrope replies on 8/17/2006 8:06 am:
You mean like Gus Van Sant redoing Psycho scene for scene, just adding some flashes of nudity? Or the fact there is a remake of The 39 Steps coming out?

The new Casablanca. I can see it now. Bruce Willis as Rick. Kevin Spacey as Victor. Johnny Depp as Capt. Renault. R. Lee Ermey as Ferrari. And making her triumphant return to acting, Pia Zadora as Ilsa. I just can't think of who to cast as Peter Lorre.

OboesHonedIambs 62F

8/17/2006 12:27 pm

Frickin' heretics, that's what they are! I can't believe they'd do that! If they're gonna do a remake, they should at least stick to the original story/plot

Instant Human -- Just Add Coffee

MissAnnThrope replies on 8/18/2006 6:48 am:
I agree. Something tells me they're going to be switching around the ending too. Now I have to decide if it's worth blowing $10 to see, instead of waiting for it to come out on DVD. The only reason I want to see it is to rant.

ErikSarcasm77 39M

8/17/2006 1:47 pm

Bad news, for you MissAnn, and you, nickrules.... I heard that Rob Zombie is making a "rethinking" of Halloween, in his own special way. Not entirely bad news, since he's such a classic horror master (which is why his films don't do so well, I suppose).

No mention of the Texas Chainsaw prequel? It's like a double whammy, a prequel to a remake...

Re: Americanization of Japanese horror... I found The Ring to be a helluva lot scarier than Ringu, Pulse made alot more sense than Kairo, but Ju-On blows them all out of the water. Never Saw the American Dark Water, and didn't really care for the original. I can't wait for the American Ichi the Killer and Battle Royale.. like they'll ever happen.

MissAnnThrope replies on 8/18/2006 6:52 am:
Heh heh heh... Can I get you a bowl of milk and some catnip?

I thought The Ring dragged, I haven't seen Pulse or Kairo yet, Dark Water sucked, Ju-On is being pushed down the Netflix list until I find my glasses, which are missing. Again.

Now, you know if they redo Ichi the Killer, it's going to be a mafia movie and not a yakuza movie. It's going to have Ray Liotta, Joe Pesci, they're going to CGI in Bruno Kirby...

bustybettyboop 50F  
59325 posts
8/17/2006 10:56 pm

i love horror movies! i've been getting into horror movies that aren't made in the us lately...anatomy was awesome(german i think),creep was good(it was english i believe)same actress in both movies..i think they did voice overs on anatomy. such great movies..the kind that make u think..shivers..that could really strangeland..but i love love vampire movies!!! hugz,busty

..just join me on my blog bustybettyboop and still looking for some hot,sexy,creative contestants for my next contest...come join us! need a blog mentor or want to be one?

MissAnnThrope replies on 8/18/2006 8:14 am:
The version of Anatomy that I saw was dubbed. I haven't been able to find a version with subtitles. I haven't seen Creep yet, but wasn't it the actress from Run Lola, Run?

I used to love vampire movies. However, it seems like they've been embracing Anne Rice's vision of vampires the past few years. I don't care for her and I feel like she has a lot to answer for, from vampire goths to acting like she's being paid by the word to write. One you should try to find, IF you can find it, is a little Canadian vampire movie called Blood and Donuts.

ErikSarcasm77 39M

8/18/2006 3:52 pm

Lovin the horror movie thread here, Missann... Yes, Creep was the one with Lola in the subway... her name just won't come to me and I'm too lazy to websearch it, but you're correct. It's pretty generic, though there are some decent tortures, killings and jump-out scares. Nice scenery too...

Meant to ask you, who in their right mind is thinking of remaking Suspiria? Would anyone but the most hardcore horror fan even appreciate such a thing? I mean, you know they're just going to strip it of the best gore scenes (knife to the heart, daggers in the eyes, etc. ) and of course without Argento's atmosphere, what's left? A very generic plat about witchcraft... another Wicker Man, it would seem. Another Texas Chainsaw Massacre. And you KNOW they'll actually be an ending, not just Argento's classic scare-kill-roll credits scenario. Ohh, that bugs me.

MissAnnThrope replies on 8/19/2006 11:25 am:
I'm going to have to add that to my Netflix queue.

I can't remember who's behind the remake, but it wouldn't surprise me if it was Wes Craven. I do know I heard people complaining about it sometime in the last month on the horror boards, that there was something about it in a recent issue of Rue Morgue. I haven't seen that magazine in months, as I haven't been able to get anywhere where it's sold. Yes, I am too lazy to subscribe.

I'm also sure these new remakes are going to have endings that open them up to sequels, too.

greatnsexy69 46M

8/20/2006 10:08 pm

Well I guess this type of movie is the only thing Nic cage can do, He's a little old to be the young hottie, yet he continually chases the big blockbuster flick when not too many actors in their 40's can still do that.

Personally I don't like the remakes, and sometimes I question their sanity. But it's a business. Lately when I go to blockbuster (wasn't cable On demand services supposed to have every movie imaginable?) I'm always looking for the indie flicks. I still like the big summer blockbuster action flick if it's done well, but that hasn't happened for awhile.

MissAnnThrope replies on 8/21/2006 4:09 pm:
Hey, a bunch of them are 40 or older. Johnny Depp, John Cusack, Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Antonio Banderas, etc. Some are just aging better than others. Nicholas Cage was never really leading man material, if you ask me. But he is on his way to being the king of remakes.

Yes, On Demand was supposed to have every movie ever made available at any time. However, I'm sure Blockbuster, Hollywood Video and Netflix all got together and lobbied against that. Then again, isn't Comcast expensive enough without every movie ever made being available? I haven't been in a video store since I got my Netflix subscription two years ago. I never cared for Blockbuster anyway, as they were always expensive, the return policy was a joke... Three days? More like a day and a half. Then the fact they didn't want to carry unrated moviess and if there was an edited version of any movie out there, that's what they carried, not the original. To protect the children. Shouldn't parents be doing that when it comes to video rentals? How do the children get there without mom and dad?

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