I'm Not A Heartless Bitch  

MissAnnThrope 56F
11679 posts
9/11/2005 10:11 am

Last Read:
9/12/2007 6:15 pm

I'm Not A Heartless Bitch


I'm not. Really. However, as I sit here with 9/11 remembrances on all the networks, I have to wonder if this is being carried nationwide, or just in the NYC area.

Yes, the bombings were the second biggest disaster in this country. Right now, they're trying to do something about the carnage in the Gulf Coast from the biggest disaster we've had.

Unlike most people in the NYC area, I watched that second plane fly into the second tower live. I was watching the morning news, as I do need my local news fix. All the NYC stations went out. I thought it was another blackout. No, all their transmitters were on top of that first tower.

So, I switched to the Philly stations, as I was in central NJ at the time and got both cities. I was shocked, I was speechless, I had absurd thoughts. I knew who was responsible right away, you could see it was deliberate. But my first thought was, "OMG, if my father was still alive, this would kill him." Let me explain.

My father was a Vice President for US Aviation Underwriters. They insure all the major airlines. He worked downtown. Everyday, he took PATH to the WTC. In 1993, he had just retired, I do mean weeks before the first attack. He just missed being in that carnage. But even before he died and after he was retired, a plane crash or accident would put him in a bad mood, knowing what it meant to his old company. Not just they'd have to pay a claim, but that it was tons of extra work for all involved. But I digress.

Back to 9/11. I sat there, in shock. Then I tried to call my sister. Of course, the phone lines were jammed, I couldn't have called my next door neighbor that day. I gave up and went back to watching TV.

I knew the people on the upper floors were screwed. The Spanish stations were actually showing people jumping from the upper floors, some hand in hand. I did have hope that the people on the lower floors would be able to get out. Then the towers crumbled. Those things were supposed to be built to withstand a 747 crashing into them, as they were going to tower over an area where there are three major airports and a bunch of smaller ones.

There was a report published in "Discover" magazine in either 2002 or 2003. I lost that copy when I moved and was just throwing away anything, as I didn't want to be bothered. Something was pointed out in that article. If the support beams had been properly insulated, instead of the bare minimum, which was spray on asbestos, the support beams would have been better equipped to handle the heat of the flames. That if they had used brick, the heat would have been better absorbed, and the support beams would not have buckled. But I'm getting off the subject again.

So, I've been sitting here watching the reading of the names. They've interrupted a few times, so Bloomberg could do some self-promotion.

Now, the crowd seems to be small. The entire city of New York has not come out to watch this. There's room for people to mill around, from what they're showing. Family and friends are reading the names of every known victim. It's very emotional and the media is taking every opportunity to exploit this, as it is a weekend.

I know I'm going to be flamed for this. But I have to ask. Is this really healthy for the family and friends of those who died? Is it healthy to keep ripping open the wounds? When does the healing begin? Do these people even realize how their pain and suffering is being exploited for a morbid audience? The newscasters are all saying this is important to the healing process. But what I see are people having their wounds ripped open again.

Some of the people reading do look like they've gotten past the pain and for them this is just something nice to do for their loved ones. But what happens, especially with the widows and widowers of those who died? What happens when they decide it's time to move on with their lives? What sort of crap are they going to have to take from the immediate families of those who died?

I ask this because, in all this time, not one person has said their husband or wife. The people who are reading names are all blood relatives. Brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers. There hasn't been one spouse or child of anyone who died reading the names from what I've seen. So I wonder, especially those who were married to firefighters or police who died.

But once again, I do have to ask, when does the healing begin? I'm amazed they're not showing the plane hitting the second tower as an overlay.

I'm not saying forget. I'm not saying this wasn't a horrendous act of war. But I am saying, by making a huge media spectacle, by cramming paranoia down the throats of everyone every year about this time, by making it a bigger deal with each passing year, we're doing what we weren't supposed to do. By making Ground Zero a tourist attraction for those with morbid curiosity, by not getting on with rebuilding, by making a bigger spectacle of things every year, by the media exploitation... On this level, the terrorists have won.

Feel free to flame away. I'm not saying forget. What I'm saying is, allow people to heal, instead of exploiting their pain.

rm_VoodooGuru1 49M
2053 posts
9/11/2005 1:30 pm

There's those that died, and those that were able to get out. I'm one of the latter. Obviously, I'm glad I got out, but my dad was a cop who died on the job back in '98 and the whole WTC thing fucked me up much more than his death did.

Those of us who spent that hour or so in utter terror surrounded by death don't want pity, nor even sympathy, but an occasional recognition of our pain would be so appreciated. I fucking guarantee you that there is no one on this planet who appreciates the sacrifice those firemen and cops made more than us.

Maybe it's because I don't live in the City, but I've never heard a mention of us.

Tell ya something else... those guys that died? They're still saving lives. There's been a couple times since 9/11 when it's been really, really bad for me - abyss type despair - ya know? And I would have - believe me - I really would have. But on 9/11, the universe said to me "No, you can't... that's not an option for you in this lifetime, not anymore."

I'm not allowed to because I got out with my life, and they didn't... I can't be the only survivor who feels this way, so I can't be the only life they've saved after the event.


StreaktheFreak 38F

9/11/2005 2:33 pm

i think that it is important to remember and take some time to focus on things that have happened but it is really sad that people are creating an atmosphere of reliving it all


justsayhi2005 51F

9/11/2005 4:33 pm

MissAnn,
I agree. This morning I turned on the tv and saw the ceremony and I thought omg these poor people are being made to relive this in public yet again. Memorial ceremonies and services are one thing but to have individuals have to publicly remember their loved ones is just too much.

Voodooguru, I can't imagine having lived through something so terrifying but I can imagine that at times it feels like it would have been easier not to. Thank you for sharing that, I'm sure it wasn't easy.


MissAnnThrope 56F
11488 posts
9/11/2005 8:38 pm

Voodoo, I'm really glad you made it out. However, the survivors are rarely mentioned. Unless they have a sensationalist story to share with the media and it's this time of year. I don't even want to know what it must have been like to be the last person out, knowing someone right behind didn't make it. Or the wondering of why did I make it out and not my friends, co-workers, etc.

I really do want to know of anyone did anything for the survivors. I know I would still be in therapy if I was one of the people who escaped, especially with all else that was going on. The families of those who died were compensated, some well, some not so well. But have there been any programs for the survivors who didn't deal well, or still aren't dealing well? I'm betting most of you have post traumatic stress syndrome.

SassyChris nailed it on the head. It has turned into a celebration. While the turnout in DC wasn't what Bush wanted for his little exploit the dead pro-war "Freedom Walk", it was a celebration too. It started at the Pentagon and ended at the Mall, with Clint Black as entertainment. The lyrics of the song he wrote for the occassion link the 9/11 attacks to Iraq and glorify the post-war actions in Iraq. You know, the war that's supposed to be over that we're still fighting and is getting lots of publicity, as opposed to the war in Afghanistan, which hasn't ended and is all but forgotten. You know, where we're supposed to be taking out Al Qaeda and the Taliban and searching for Bin Laden. No one seems to remember him, or the fact he ordered the attacks.

It's all a spectacle, a glorification and celebration of tragedy, to try to promote political agendas. Bloomberg is up for re-election this year. The primaries are on Tuesday. He used today to promote himself. Bush's approval rating is so low, in a Zogby poll, when asked who would you vote for, Bush or Carter, 50% of those polled said Carter. So, let's have a party on the Mall and exploit the dead!

Now, why doesn't the anniversary of Lockerbie make the front page every year or get massive television coverage? The families of those who were blown out of the sky meet every year in Arlington National Cemetery for a memorial. I don't see cameras getting every word of that. As a matter of fact, I don't think the media ever bothered to cover it. People from 22 states died in that bombing. Not to mention the hapless people on the ground in the town of Lockerbie, who were killed by debris. Where's the yearly celebration, er, I mean media event, er, I mean spectacle for those who died on the USS Cole?

I know there's been an annual memorial at Pearl Harbor for longer than I can remember. But where is the party atmosphere for that? Where are the cameras, the live coverage, the big name entertainers? There are none. It's done tastefully and with respect. The families of the dead are not exploited.

One thing really did bother me today. Each person who read names read 5 or 10 names, then ended with the name of their family member. Each one ended the same way. "You were my sibling/child, I love you very much and I miss you." They were obviously told to say that, as when entire families got up there, they were all in perfect unison on that. However, one guy who read the name of his brother said that and then ended with, "and I'll see you on Tuesday."

That really did send a chill down my spine and I really do hope he meant he's visiting the cemetery on Tuesday.


nietchze 43M

9/11/2005 8:53 pm

"This years WTC memorial is brought to you by Coca-Cola. At Coke, we believe being a free American means having a cool, refreshing beverage. Drink Coke, and honor those who died so you could drink it. Now back to Marv at ground zero......"


nietchze 43M

9/11/2005 8:54 pm

"This years WTC memorial is brought to you by Coca-Cola. At Coke, we believe being a free American means having a cool, refreshing beverage. Drink Coke, and honor those who died so you could drink it. Now back to Marv at ground zero......"........how long do you think it is before this really happens?


AltumHunksUnite 53M

9/12/2005 7:07 am

Hey, I understand the need to remember, but I'm with you in thinking that the coverage has been quite a bit over the top. Too much looking back and not enough looking forward. Too much a desire to find victims and not enough desire to find heroes.

Strange though... last year the media didn't talk much about 9/11, but this year they are.

Let me drive. I like the view


digdug41 49M

9/12/2005 1:34 pm

It's all a smoke screen to keep the people rocked to sleep and not to look ahead and move forward it just makes me angry that they would even have the families down there for that. I understand that you dont want the people to forget but yes they must move on with there lives because thats what there loved ones would want them to do
to live time to let that pain subside it'll never go away but dam let it subside

roaming the cyber streets of blogland


SensuousWoman3 55F
3106 posts
9/13/2005 6:42 pm

Interesting points, MissAnn. I also questioned the ceremonial events taking place in honor of 9/11. I didn’t think I was being thoughtless or callous, but simply, I truly do not know how effective some of these observations were and wondered the affect on the people who were affected by the events of 9/11. I admit, I still do not know today what those folks might prefer. But it did cross my mind if the time wasn’t nearing that it would be most appropriate to raise our flags and observe 10 minutes of national silence in honor of all those who survived, all those who didn’t survive, and all those to risked their lives to saves lives. I do know this, I am not thrilled to see politicians turn days and events such as 9/11 into their own personal “look at me” platforms.


redmustang91 57M  
8599 posts
9/17/2005 11:40 am

some observations: different people grieve differently. The concept of survivor's guilt is one I have felt in my oen mind. This sense that it is really not fair some other person just trying to go on with life died and I am going on through dumb luck of not being in the wrong place. I try to channel these feelings into positive energy to accomplish something useful but sometimes I am just angry and depressed. After 9/11 it took me a ling time to stop feeling angry and I do not want to repeat that experience. I try not to watch too much news as it just annoys me.


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