Holiday Mail Bag  

MissAnnThrope 56F
11679 posts
12/24/2005 10:40 am

Last Read:
7/31/2008 10:23 pm

Holiday Mail Bag

ah... The fucktards are rolling in, from all over the world this time!

From: looking13691369
Date: Dec 23, 2005 3:23 AM EST
Subject: hi

with all that crap i would deny your profile myself


This is from a married guy in Florida. Whose wife can't have sex anymore because she was in an accident and hurt her back too badly. Gee, I'm glad to know some married guy in Florida who is trying to illicit sympathy for himself and can't use proper capitalization or grammar thinks I don't belong on this site. I'm glad he doesn't run this site. If he did, it would be him and a bunch of bots, who he would talk to, thinking cute 19 year old girls really can't get dates and are dying to hook up with him. What is with these guys who think everyone should be looking for exactly what they want?

This next one, I don't even know what it means. I don't speak the same language he does:

From: bule_bali
Date: Dec 23, 2005 3:13 AM EST
Subject: 0ola

hi im edo from itali 32 years aku and i love make new friend for fun and new experient dnt esitate to contact me my hp (phone number that doesn't even include country code deleted) mandami un sms adoro olso sexphone. sono napoletano ed adoro il sesso. my iahoo (I assume he means Yahoo, that's deleted too) or we wil start contact wit chatting ok?(yet another IM handle deleted.)


OK, what country is this guy from? His profile says Indonesia, but he seems to be telling me he's in Italy? But he wants me to call internationally to have phone sex. That much I managed to pick up. Yeah. Hope springs eternal for some people. I can only assume he's contacted every woman in Europe and Asia on the site and now is spreading his wings to the United States. Watch out Africa and Australia, you're next!

Our next one comes from someone who seriously can't read:

Date: Dec 23, 2005 12:33 AM EST

HI, MY NAME IS JIMMY (phone number deleted) I LOVE OLDER WOMEN HOPE U CALL.....


This guy can't read. He's also expanding his horizons. This guy comes into the NYC room just about every day and says NOTHING but "Are there any women in Queens who want to hook up now?" Punctuation and grammar are mine. He also has a broken cap lock. Why did he write to me? I can only guess it's because I told him to shut up, if any women in Queens wanted to fuck him, they would have volunteered, so stop flooding the room. We all know any attention on a site like this means you want to throw yourself at a man.

This next one... Well, I'm guessing he's a Mormon:

From: ez_james
Date: Dec 21, 2005 9:59 PM EST
Subject: I understand

Without sounding strike me as the typical "east coast type". Although you are an attractive should consider letting your guard down a little, then maybe you'll find Mr Right. Not to say I'm anyway. But as you go'll tend to find more genuine, down to earth humans. Good luck on your search. In may find what you seek.


Typical East Coast type... OMG! There are liberals on this site! Get the gun!

WTF? Where on my profile does it say I'm looking for Mr. Right? Let my guard down... What does that even mean? My profile should say I'm willing to fuck anyone and everyone at a drop of the hat? Come and get it, boys, I'm willing to travel several thousand miles just for a fuck? This guy is in Colorado. Why is he even writing to me?

No buddy, you wouldn't be him. I am an East Coast liberal who has respect for myself and my body and I don't believe in women being barefoot, pregnant or being pigeon holed into traditional roles. Then again, you're a 50 year old man who's trying to impress the babes with your guitar and motorcycle pics. Two things I see as red flags as it means you're in that entire midlife crisis thing. Just go find a twinkie who's impressed by the bad boy image you're trying to project and leave women who have IQs over 90 alone.

This guy probably would have been better off letting me plug whatever he wrote into Babelfish, instead of interpreting for himself:

From: paulot38
Date: Dec 21, 2005 12:39 AM EST
Subject: bonjour

Je vous trouve attrayante ! J’aimerais vous l├ęcher les seins, en mordiller les pointes, sucer votre bouton et boire votre liqueur……I find you appealing! I would like to lick you the breasts, some to nibble the points, suck your button and drink your liquor…


er.... OK, I got out of this, he wants to visit the United States, so he can play with my tits and raid my liquor cabinet. My roommate and I don't tend to be drinkers, there isn't much booze around.

Does this guy think I'm going to be on the next plane to France or something?

I don't even know what to make out of this next one:

From: Grumpy331
Date: Dec 21, 2005 12:32 AM EST
Subject: A Pagan Hot Like in Misty's of Avalon

Hey Girl, talk to me, we are from the same relam, You want to talk Pagan, here I am, And I can produce!!! Let your imagination run wild!!!


Holy mother of God. "Misty's of Avalon"? er... That was "Mists of Avalon", I don't remember any hot Pagans in that book, as a matter of fact, if you ask me, Marion Zimmer Bradley was ripping off "The Once And Future King". Granted, it was her first really mainstream book, in how many years of writing? But it was fiction. And hot Pagans in that book? Which takes place in the days before things like bathing daily and deodorant? Me thinks someone had a bit too much mead at the local solstice celebration.

My, there has been a spate in fucktard mail the past few days. What is it about the holidays that brings out the idiot in so many people? Or is it they just drink heavily and don't care what they say to women?

Fairy_Gothmother 41F

12/24/2005 11:29 am

Be careful, MissAnn... PK (aka CK) was slain by the knuckledraggers for posting emails she received for publication, as well as her own.

I think the fucktards come out in droves when they have days off for the hollydaze...

MisterPriapus 57M
6980 posts
12/24/2005 11:58 am

Ms Ann~

Love your Play-by-Play commentary! Too funny, even though these maroons start to make me ashamed of my Y Chromosome…

Btw, couldn’t agree more with your Once And Future King observation.

Happy Holidays, MsAnn!



Been a while since they last let me out into polite society. Resurfacing, catching a breath, & catching up.

And while I got my Broad-Brimmed Pimping Hat on, could I cajole all of y'all to Comment on, Alone In A Cloud? It's probably the best thing that I've written!



rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
12/24/2005 12:07 pm

I dont know but they are sooooooooooooooo funny. Raid the liquor cabinet. I love it.

caressmewell 53F

12/24/2005 12:10 pm

Just a typical mail day on A F F
Merry Christmas

TheLilFondler 33F  
2576 posts
12/24/2005 3:21 pm

LMAO i hear ya sweetie LMAO they forgot to send us the idiot convention memo

i lost my virginity years ago.....
but i still have the box.....

Pasting 55M

12/24/2005 5:04 pm

MissAnn, here's hoping you have a wonderful holiday.

rm_VoodooGuru1 49M
2053 posts
12/24/2005 6:10 pm

Maybe they're just used to more accomodating members, like eggnogslut.

But, god... DAMN it, MissAnn! Can't you be civil for one weekend, one DAY of the fucking year?!? Pour yourself some moo-cow fuck nog, put some Meyers Dark in it, and enjoy A Christmas Story or the yule log channel on your tele.

cuteNEway 41F

12/24/2005 8:37 pm

I have one observation to add...the whole "age is just a number" bullshit...that one tells me "I turned 18 last week" and the whole "call me if you want an EXPERIENCED man"...that tells me that the dude is my dad's age or older...~sigh~ where are the men my age that find me attractive? Do they even exist?? But I agree that stupidity tends to run even more rampant during the holidays...FESTIVUS FOR THE REST OF US to all TEEHEE!

xoxo to my favie genius!

digdug41 49M

12/24/2005 9:12 pm


roaming the cyber streets of blogland

MissAnnThrope 56F
11488 posts
12/24/2005 10:57 pm

Fairy, I've been doing it for months, I've even told a few they're about to have a starring role here. So far, not one has said a word.

Thanks MisterPriapus. And I really do think "The Mists Of Avalon" was MZB's big sell-out. She had a nice franchaise going with the Darkover books. A few were good. And Merry Christmas.

Thanks lianna. I'm still trying to figure out if I was supposed to hop a plane or not.

caressme, it's been a while since I got nasty or weird email. But the past few days...

TheLilFondler, you know, I tried to decode with my Cap'n Crunch ring. It didn't work.

Thanks Pasting. Have a Merry Christmas.

Voodoo, I was civil to them! I sent each and every one of them CupOfGoodCheer's phone number. I think she's finally getting that train under the Christmas tree.

cute, age is but a number. Send me the hot 22 year olds who can hold a conversation. And no... Experience means they've fucked dozens of women. Never a second time with any of them.

MaggiesWishes 60F

12/25/2005 11:00 am

My gracious, Miss Ann ...
Those are certainly some winners! NOT!!!
So, worth a good laugh, tho.

Merry Christmas, lady!

warm wishes & champagne bubbles

redmustang91 57M  
8660 posts
12/26/2005 2:28 am

Miss Ann you find the silver lining in dumb email! I am sure these charmers are each unique, just not very articulate. Can you help it that you drive men wild with your pagan lusty intellect? Just accept these moths are attracted to your flame... burn, baby burn!

header1979 37M
507 posts
12/26/2005 8:24 pm

just getting back from a trip.

Hope you had a Merry Christmas and wish you a Happy New Year.

As much as we would hope, I don't think the mail will change much in the new year.


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