Hey, this is a sex site, isn't it?  

MissAnnThrope 56F
11679 posts
8/9/2005 3:41 am

Last Read:
10/2/2007 5:32 pm

Hey, this is a sex site, isn't it?

Yeah. Depends on the portal you come in through.

For those of you who haven't figured it out, this site isn't just one site. The Friend Finder Network has been buying up all sorts of sites. So, we have Passion.com, HotMatch, XMatch, AdultFriendFinder and for some reason lesbianpersonals.com. Why that one wasn't linked to OutPersonals, I don't know. Well, I do have a theory.

With the affiliates program, they state that they pay extra when women join up. Since they changed AdultFriendFinder to a purely sex site, they're having women leave in droves, because of the way we're treated by men and, they're having major trouble getting women to sign up. So, what better way to get it to look like there are tons of women on here other than to add a lesbian dating site to the mix?

Now, I'm so damned sick of the men who enter the chat rooms screaming that this is a sex site, all us ladies should be ready, willing and able. So, I took a look at the FAQs for each of the sites that feed into this site. That is, the sites I know about.

For Passion.com it says:

The purpose of the Passion.com site is to make it as easy as possible for you to meet people, using the power of the internet. At Passion.com, you'll find a community of people using the site as a tool to make connections and find partners for dating, romance, friendship, and a variety of encounters.

OK, I don't see anything there about it being purely a sex site. Do any of you?

Then I took a look at the AdultFriendFinder FAQ. I think I see a pattern emerging:

The purpose of the AdultFriendFinder site is to make it as easy as possible for you to meet people, using the power of the internet. At AdultFriendFinder, you'll find a community of people using the site as a tool to make connections and find partners for dating, romance, friendship, and a variety of encounters.

Hmmmm.... The purpose of the world's biggest swingers site is to make friends, romance and dating? Long story short, for everyone one of the sites, it says the EXACT SAME THING in all of the FAQs. So, to all of you who insist this is purely a sex site, oh no. It isn't.

AltumHunksUnite 53M

8/9/2005 7:11 am

The way this site is marketed to guys basically boils down to "Join A-F-F today, get laid by tonight!" Unfortunately, a lot of guys use this as an excuse to treat women like garbage.

It's a shame too. There are so many other fun things to do on this site that don't require sending a dozen messages to women telling them their pics are hot and that they need a good f**kin'. I've lost track of the number of friends, male and female, I've made since becoming a member, both through the group message boards and my blog. That is what separates this site from the mainstream personals sites... the ability for members to interact with each other on a friendly level, getting to know each other.

Oh well, welcome to Blogville. If you don't mind I'll stop by from time to time. Take care.

Being a fan of Moliere, I love your screen name.

Let me drive. I like the view

justsayhi2005 51F

8/9/2005 7:49 am

And actually, on the page where photos are posted it says by posting a photo and allowing AdultFriendFinder to use it in their newsletter you "increase your chances of finding your soulmate" No kidding!!!

tamethytension 54M
2320 posts
8/9/2005 8:09 am

Thank you for this post. Nicely stated.

For my own rant against 85% of the men on this site
(whi as you note are actively driving away a great
many women) see my blog Men of AdultFriendFinder ... Dial 911


PS> Welcome to Blogland where a higher percentage of the men are civilized.

nietchze 43M

8/10/2005 2:56 am

I think i could start my own website that promises blowjobs by pornstars carrying free bags of money for the people who sign up, charge 50 bucks a month, and i bet i would probably get a thousand $ a month....Personally after 6-7 years on A FF i think we need to start enforcing the laws of Darwin.

rdy2try4 51F  
3040 posts
8/11/2005 8:54 pm

Sorry, but I had to add this here also. If MissAnn wishes to remove it that is okay, but I thought some people don't read all the blogs. hehehe For those again that 'think' they know what they read...I do believe that anyone that believes they see the following add...is totally NOT realistic!!!

Okay, I am sorry, I left my phone post for a minute. I missed the call. I am now here ready to take your order and have that escort sent to your home FREE of charge sir!!!! Oh yes, you too can log into a site and get free, that is absolutely NO charge to you at all!!! one female or two for that matter, sent to your home with just the dial of the phone. Tell us what you wish to do to her, how you wish to experiment on her, what are your preferences, and we will find a custom built model to send over minus all the feelings and emotions that cause so much trouble when meeting up. There will be no communication, she will show up and drop her panties regardless of how you act or look. She will automatically get on her knees and do whatever bidding you ask because she has no brain and cannot think for herself. But wait!!! Don't call yet!!! If you call now and mention this ad...you can get one that will leave immediately upon you ejaculating with NO words what so ever!!! Yes, she will walk out the door with her panties not even on yet she will go so quick. There will be no follow up calls no nothing. You screw her and she flies!!! So...call now!!! operators are standing by!!!

Guys...even as a sex site...you are NOT going to get this!!!

For more info read my blogs also. I agree with MissAnn totally! Good job on the blogs.

pseudohippie 49F

8/16/2005 10:00 am

I don't care what you call it...romance, dating, friendship...it all results in a desire for sex in the long run anyway.

I realize that's not the point made here. Just wanted to throw that it, cause it's why we're all trying to find someone anyway. Sure, it's more fun and meaningful to share non-sexual experiences with your sex partner. Sure there are non-sexual delights to having a partner or just a companion. But the end game is sex.

Why people can't realize that desires surrounding sex vary as much as snowflakes? That's the real problem. No one knows how to match up their goals with the right person. If that were successfully occuring, no one would care about the neanderthals who think they can join, order up sex like a Big Mac, and go home later, burping.

sturgeon2005 60M

8/22/2005 6:46 pm

I completely agree with you. I have a normal profile on passions and it is not sexual at all maybe alittle romantic but not sexual, i have one on just friend finders that is neither. I am new to this and i can see there are a few different sites through freind finders so i am sure these long time users are aware of it to. and no it does not always end up in a desire for sex. Everyone is not addicted to sex . Some of use do understand that it goes along with a relationship

rm_uhhaa 76M

9/27/2006 4:33 pm

There are so many dating sites, with different approaches. It is a fact of life that we tend to bunch people into categories, according to where they are at a given time. If most people in a group have certain characteristics, we assume that all in the group are the same. We do that with race,especially, but it shows up everywhere. It's that "Birds Of Feather" syndrome. And since this really is primarily a site where people are searching for sex partners. some will assume all on the site are. One thing that I find as problem on this site is, so many women,as well as men. use the worst possible photos as their main photo, that it brings down the level of the entire site. I think if some were more choosy in selecting the photos, and save the extremely graphic for the bedroom, It wood raise the level of the site and perhaps increase the level of respect. I think we all need give more thought as to how to approach our search. First, I think, is how to present yourself in photos and comments,as well as Handles. And second, when making contact through the emails etc. we have to do less assuming and more thinking . We are all contributing to the total view of what this site is about. Unfortunately,when a site allows broad freedoms, they will be abused by certain types of people, as with anything else. When joining a site such as this, it is unrealistic to think all people using it will be respectful and sensitive. So we must enter with the knowledge that there will be abuse, and decide if we are willing to accept the bad with the good, if we want the advantages that the freedom on his site provide.

MissAnnThrope replies on 9/28/2006 8:21 am:
Some of us here are old timers and remember when this was the over 21 sister site of Friend Finder. Back when I joined, this was billed as the world's largest site for dating, romance, sex, swinging and marriage. I laughed hysterically at that last part when I joined. However, since I originally wrote this post, the site has changed more. They have added a lot more sites that funnel in here and most not for the better. They've added another lesbian site, to make it look like there are far more women on here looking for men than there are. If you read the affiliates program, the first option gives you more credit for every woman you get to join. Well, if they'd go back to the original advertising, than maybe they COULD get more women to join, instead of women being afraid of this site. I know if the ads were like what they are now when I joined, I NEVER would have joined.

This is fast turning into a fantasy site, instead of a personals site. With all the fakes running around using porn star pics, they managed to reel in more paying members in the form of men. However, this gives men a false sense of what type of real women are on here. They get strung along by the fakes, tell those of us who are real how imperfect we are, and you know what? While men sit at their monitors wanking off to pictures they can find elsewhere on the Internet, the women sit back and watch and talk about how stupid these guys are and then spread the word to all their friends to stay away from the undateable idiot who wants fantasy and not reality. It becomes a lose-lose situation for everyone.

The simple fact of the matter is, while people here are more sexual open, that gives men no right to treat us like free hookers. If the men who treat women like shit on here acted like that in a bar or even in a swing club, they would meet Mr. Bouncer and be on the street in no time flat. It has nothing to do with "birds of a feather" syndrome. It has to do with men who think women are second class citizens and they should be able to order us to show up on their doorstep at any time of the day or night to suck their dicks. However, when you turn the tables on these guys and tell them to get over to your house at 3 AM and service you, they all tell you how fat and old and ugly you are, then go back to harrassing the women who are more their type. They think they're allowed to have a type, but women aren't. That this is a giant whorehouse. That is the problem with the site and with the ads.

Now, I used to have a problem with close up shots of genitals. But you know what? I now consider it an early warning system. It's amazing how many close ups I've seen with obvious herpes lesions.

sorin_ro 36

2/22/2007 3:41 am


queenser 38M

3/28/2007 7:47 pm

I wish that I had gotten to this post a while back, because as you will remember, I once asked you about what other sites are funneled into A-F-F. As for being a sex site, well, from my end of things, the sexual pretense is what makes it so fun for me, but by fun I do mean the juvenile glee of best characterizes me. No disrespect meant to the site's womanfolk, but the fact is that even with the pretext of being a sex site, many users connect just for friendship, chatting, and hey, maybe even cock-teasing without the balls to deliver (tee hee!).

This said, nobody should regard this purely as a sex site. Take it in stride; maybe you will get lucky with some user connected for that purpose, but more likely you will get some hardy giggles at the expense of the desperation of users even more pathetic than myself!

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