Dying To Be Thin  

MissAnnThrope 56F
11679 posts
5/18/2006 5:50 am

Last Read:
7/9/2008 1:57 pm

Dying To Be Thin

The results of an online survey conducted by the Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity at Yale were all over the news this morning. Seems people really hate fat people. I mean, really, REALLY hate fat people. Even fat people hate fat people.

Over four thousand people took the survey and the breakdown of responders were as follows:

3% were underweight
41% were normal weight
21% were overweight
21% were obese
14% were extremely obese

Nearly half said they'd shave a year off their lives to be thin.
15% said they'd shave ten years off their lives to not be fat.
30% said they'd rather get a divorce.
25% said they'd rather be sterile.
15% said they'd rather suffer from severe depression.
14% said they'd rather be alcoholics.
10% said they'd rather have a child with anorexia than a fat child.
8% said they'd rather have a child with learning disabilities.
5% said they'd rather lose a limb.
4% said they'd rather go blind.


OK, I can understand that people who have been battling their weight for years would give responses like they'd be willing to shave a decade off their lives to be thin. But people who say things like this are already suffering extremely low self esteem and a lot are depressed about their weight. But they'd rather have a child who was courting a heart attack with anorexia than one who needs to lose 20 pounds?

Look, I've been overweight my entire adult life. It is a battle. Diets do not work. However, if my clothing starts to get too tight, I put down the damned fork or change my eating habits. I start going for walks. I don't get thin, but I get to what's comfortable for me. I'm not so insecure that I'm dying for a supermodel body. When I get the fat comments, I realize I'm dealing with a shallow asshole whom I would probably hate in any case. But would I be willing to shave a decade off my life to have a slim, trim body? HELL FUCKING NO! That defeats the point of losing weight! OK, I don't have kids, I never wanted kids, so the sterile will work for me. Yeah, like that would be a sacrifice.

Yes, we women especially have heard from complete and utter self-absorbed assholes, "I'd do you if you were thin." Lines like that make me panic and want to run for the Haagen-Dazs, so I won't be in danger of losing enough weight to be attractive to such cretins. If I did manage to lose a shitload of weight and someone who told me that hit on me, my honest reaction would be, "You didn't want me when I was fat, you can't have me now that I'm thin. Suck it, babydoll."

But parts of this study really offended me and I know such answers came from the anorexic and normal weight people... Fat people are lazy. Yeah, there are just as many lazy thin people. Fat people are bad people. I swear, Karl Rove is giving us ALL a bad reputation. Hitler was thin. Rick "ratfink" Santorum is thin. OK, those are extreme examples, but you catch my drift. But even the fat people surveyed had these opinions of fat people. WTF? What ever happened to the stereotype of the jolly fat person? Now we're hateful and bad and lazy?

The doctor who conducted the survey found that thin people think it's easy to lose weight. That all people have to do is give up their desserts after dinner. But the morbidly obese people had already given up far more than that. “Most overweight people have made a lot of sacrifices,” Dr. Swartz said. “You'd be hard pressed to find someone who hadn't been on an extreme diet or pushed themselves in pretty extreme ways.”

Seriously, it's time to stop hating fat people. Yes, some do overeat. Some do have medical conditions, such as thyroid problems. Some balloon up from medication and find themselves trying to get thin the rest of their lives. The Depo shot is famous for that, as are various anti-depressants. Some people don't have the metabolism. I can't tell you the number of times they've checked my thyroid and told me that, for the thyroid levels I have, I should be able to eat anything and be thin. But not every fat person out there is sitting on the couch, watching Jerry Springer and stuffing their faces with candy. Some of us can't even eat an entire single serving chocolate bar in one sitting.

That said, I WANT A NEW SURVEY! One that excludes thin people. One that is ONLY people who are at least 25 pounds overweight. I have watched friends of mine who refuse to give up on the dream. I've watched a few of you on the blogs here try to track your progress. So to read a survey like this, after yet another night of not being able to sleep, well, it pisses me off.

PrincessKarma 43F
6188 posts
5/18/2006 7:41 am

*SIGH* Mind if I join you and the Haagen-Dazs? Or better yet, Ben&Jerry's Half-Baked... I can't count the number of times I've heard that "I'd date/do/bang/(insert word here) you if you were thin" crap.

On another note, the hatred toward fat people has increased exponentially in the last, say 20 years. And it's 95% aimed at women, too. I think it's a backlash against women in general, but I can't really prove it.

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/18/2006 2:40 pm:
OK, you dive into the Ben & Jerry's Half Baked and I can keep the Haagen-Dazs Dulce de Leche for myself!

You know, it really does seem to be aimed more at women. I've had men who make me feel svelte tell me how fat I am. I don't get that at all. Do they not have mirrors?

rm_VoodooGuru1 49M
2053 posts
5/18/2006 9:40 am

Wood you lik a partee hat? I do have one.

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/18/2006 2:42 pm:
Thanks, but if I gain another 150 pounds, I'll consider it.

dirtynastygirl2 54F

5/18/2006 10:27 am

I think the results were skewed with the normal weight folks. I also think they may be the idiots who would rather sacrifice a child for thinness.
I have met many women who have sacrificed their health for gastric bypass surgery and now regret the decision. It is the media that has screwed up joe public's general consensus that it isn't okay to be overweight and that somehow it makes a person's value depreciate. This pisses me off to no end. I am glad you wrote about it.
BTW You are a very sexy lady and what a mind!!!

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/18/2006 2:53 pm:
Thanks dirty!

You make some great points. Gastric by-pass can be very dangerous. I thought they only did it if your life was in emminent danger from your weight, not as a vanity thing. I have seen women on news shows talking about how they wish they'd never had it done. Then there are the people who are glad they had it done. But I can't understand the people who would sacrifice the health of their child, instead of their child being fat.

Part of that was, when people see a fat child, even if the kid is glandular, they do blame the parent. In some cases, yeah, parents let the kids eat too much junk food. However, kids who are forced onto diets will sneak food when no one is looking. Or they'll eat shit at their friend's houses. It used to be, parents would call other parents and ask if the visiting kids can have whatever kind of snack. No more. Parents are too busy to care.

blueguy1051 60M

5/18/2006 10:40 am

I'd rather be sterile than fat ... but I'm already sterile, not much of a sacrifice ... sigh ... guess I'll just have to exercise more ...

Advertisers and the media use beautiful people almost exclusively to promote positve images and fun. I guess fat folks don't go on cruises or drink beer.

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/18/2006 2:54 pm:
Fat people don't go on cruises or drink beer... Um, on what planet?

JuicyBBW1001 54F

5/18/2006 2:04 pm

Hmmm I wouldn't die to be thin, but it would be nice not to be laughed at on the street or passed over for dates.


MissAnnThrope replies on 5/18/2006 3:04 pm:
See, being passed over for dates by the shallow doesn't bother me. I've also learned to avoid feeders, who want to see me gain 100 pounds or so. While I don't get gawked at in public, I have been known to say to indoctrinated children who ask their parents why I'm fat, "because I eat children who ask too many questions."

RevJoseyWales 69M/66F
14393 posts
5/18/2006 2:46 pm

Well, Ann, I wouldn't give up 10 years to be thin. I may not have that long left. I know what you mean about the antidepressants and weight gain. Bitch is when you suffer fromn depressive eating too. Can't fucking win!. I've been fighting the problem for quite sometime, and am still in the thick of it. I'll probably wreck my health trying to ge the weight off. But maybe I'll leave a desirable corpse. Ahh, fuck it, probably not. Strange thing is, I eat very little sweets, and am resonably active at work. but I'll keep trying. Being old, married AND over-weight really puts my balls in a salad shooter when it comes to women. Joe

"McVeigh had the right idea, wrong address."

"This ain't Dodge City, and you ain't Bill Hickok."

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/18/2006 3:10 pm:
Joe, it's actually the old and married. As PK pointed out, most prejudice against fat people is aimed at women.

I wouldn't even shave a year off my life to be thin. What if I'm scheduled to be hit by a bus or 18 wheeler in something like 14 months? Then I'm really screwed.

8321 posts
5/18/2006 3:00 pm


It's all about societal norms.

People who are overweight, regardless of the severity are pressured to be a certain way based on perception.

It affects them in some way in order to agree to make those type of sacrifices.

Some want validation from the opposite sex, others want to feel healthy, and others just want to be treated like a human being for once instead of a circus oddity.

It's actually pretty easy to understand why people would go to such extremes to be at their physical ideal.


"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/18/2006 3:25 pm:
Div, I'm willing to bet that most of the people who said they would be willing to die 10 years early, lose a limb, go blind or have a child with problems were thin or average. In general, women want to be thin to attract the opposite sex. Most of the ones I've met in my life, that is. Perhaps it's the fact I fall into overweight instead of obese or extremely obese. But what is feeling healthy? There are people who are healthy who are overweight, there are people who are sickly who are normal or underweight. Being 10% underweight is just as bad and puts as much strain on your heart as being 20% overweight. But tell that to some pro-ana chick. The same applies to alcoholism. I have a family member who was to the point where normal food couldn't be ingested, only booze didn't make her sick. She was down to 89 pounds and dying when she went for treatment.

Some people aren't meant to be thin, no matter what they do. Diets don't work. You go off the diet after killing yourself to reach your goal and you start eating like a normal person and the weight comes back. It becomes a never-ending battle.

I still want to see the demographic breakdown on those reponses.

ElegantGreenEyes 55F

5/18/2006 3:21 pm

Last acceptable (and dare I say - encouraged) prejudice.

Don't *even* get me started

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/18/2006 3:30 pm:
I thought blonde jokes and prejudice were still encouraged... *ducks*

redmustang91 57M  
8576 posts
5/18/2006 3:23 pm

Prejudice against fat people is one of the few socially approved prejudices, as race, sex preference, gender, religion and ethnic origin prejudice is taboo and illegal! Women get more flak then men on all areas of appearance, but guys suffer rejection on over and under weight grounds as well! My issue with too much weight is the health effects such as increased risk of diabetes Type 2, cancer, heart disease, etc. I saw one study that claimed for people over 60, being ten pounds over ideal weight was better for longevity than being ten pounds under weight. More safety margin if sick was the theory. I prefer a woman with ten extra pounds, as I think she is more willing to eat, drink and have fun, and not obsess about her appearance, and will be more sensual. She also won't be down on my few extra pounds I hope!

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/18/2006 3:44 pm:
red, a few pounds overweight is healthier than underweight. This is something they've known for years. Especially if you're underweight due to anorexia. You can be a perfect weight, but if you have some congenital heart defect, you're just as screwed. I've seen perfectly thin people die of Type I diabetes die at 30. Most were diagnosed at two or three years old. As far as cancer, what type of cancer? Some are sexually transmitted, such as cervical, anal and penile. Some seem to be mostly genetic, such as Hodgkin's, breast and testicular. Smokers and coal miners of all weights are more likely to get lung cancer. Sun worshipers are more likely to get melanoma. So something like that really does depend.

ElegantGreenEyes 55F

5/18/2006 3:25 pm

I should have read ALL the postings before I responded

I had gastric bypass surgery in November, 2004. The best thing I ever did for myself; it restored my health. Yes, GBS is dangerous, but I'd like to point out that one of the MAIN reasons it's dangerous is the same reason that open heart surgery, transplants, etc. are dangerous - a good number of the people undergoing the surgery are already ill. They're morbidly obese by clinical definition, and most have some sort of severe co-morbidity: diabetes, heart issues, circulatory issues, etc.

I didn't have this surgery to be beautiful or socially acceptable. I already *was* beautiful. Socially acceptable is a matter of debate, but I fully acknowledge that prejudice against obese people (hell, even women who dare to be more than a size 2 in some cases) is rampant, ugly and dispicable. One of the *great* pleasures of having lost 152 pounds is being able to give it to assholes who make fat jokes around me with *both* barrels.

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/18/2006 3:56 pm:
You know, I have to agree with you. A person doesn't become beautiful because they lose weight. A person is beautiful to begin with.

You are right about prejudice against overweight people. And that size 2 standard. When did ribs hanging out become sexy? A size 8 used to be the standard. I'm glad your surgery went well, there are horror stories out there. I also agree that socially acceptable is a matter of debate. I can think of thin people I wouldn't want around polite company.

One more thing... The people who made fat jokes that you can now go at with both barrels... Give the shallow pricks hell for me, too!

ElegantGreenEyes 55F

5/18/2006 3:47 pm

Do not make me stop this car.

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/18/2006 3:56 pm:

nightstalker172 36M
1258 posts
5/18/2006 4:28 pm

If anyone knows the hatred recieved from being fat its ME. Ive heard people say shit like. 'why dont you stay indoors so no one has to see you' 'why dont you put the twinky down' (god damnit I dont even like twinkies) or the infamous poke in the belly. 'Hey I thought you giggled when people do that' and I so fucking hate the 'I thought you people were supposed to be JOLLY' I could go on and on and on but I wont.

I have been trying to lose weight for the past 3 years. I mean seriously trying. I have been researching things on the web. And trying different things that work for me body to get the weight down. Unfortunately I have had injuries that have prevented me from lifting weights for 3 months at a time. I got alittle down and started eating poorly again (The eating poorly was MY fault and I gained weight back....AGAIN) When eating clean and lifting weights I felt good. I felt...POWER....phyiscal power. I was stronger and had more endurance and it felt fucking awesome and I wanted MORE...however my lust for such power caused me to push my limits too far which resaulted in injuring my back....Unfortunatly I ended up gaining most of my weight back and I have felt sluggish in comparison to what I was. I admit depression I think has been my problem too but I refuse to have to resort to takeing medication. I think it caused me to eat badly. Because I just didnt care...I had worked so fucking hard just to get that far and I had ALOT farther to go. To be stopped cold by an injury AGAIN...is the most frustrating thing. The problem with me is also Im a lover of food. Italian food is my kryptonite. Eating grilled chicken all the time it gets tireing...

I will be the first to say it. I hate being fat. It is a weakness that I despise in myself. When I see other fat people my people I do not hate them. But I cant help but feel for them. Because I know first hand what that person goes through day after day. Because I do too. I do not think all fat people are lazy but I know some are. Some know they should eat better and exercise but they dont...The problem is us fat people have gotten int he habit of eating junk....like hagen-daaz or whatever is your poison of choice...They literally become phyiscally dependant on such food. Their body will crave it to the point where its almost and uncontrolable urge to eat such food. Like a crack addict...and its compounded by the fact that some fat people eat food as a way to feel better when the world shits on them. Add that to the fact that other health issues can add to it..and top it off with bad gentics and well...your pretty much a blimp for life.

The problem with trying to quit so to speak is that your body NEEDS food to survive which makes the habit that much harder to break. I think every fat person has the potenial to be thin without starving...its simply a matter of learning how that persons body works you cant have a one diet works for all solution. You have to tailor it to the indiviual according to their goals, what they like to eat, and their physical disabilities and genetics. The only thing that keep most of us fat people fat is WILL POWER. You can sit there and deny it all you want you know its true. I know its true Im guilty of it myself. You will fail. You will fail a few times. Its like a drug addicted. You cant force them to quit they have to come to the relazation themselves and make the choice to quit. Same goes for us fatties. When I want Italian food...I make the choice to go buy it...and I kid you not when you havent something you really like in along time its almost like instant relief. Everything else is nill and you focus on the taste of the food and how good it is...reguardless if its good FOR you or not.

If a fat person is truly deeply happy with themselves and the way they look good for them. But are they being honest? 90% of the time NO. Denial...just like if you were to confront an alcoholic about their drinking problem. They will deny they have one. I too have done that...Now to all you THIN people wondering why its so hard for us fatties to lose weight STFU...you take your blessed genetics for granted Im sorry that I wasnt granted the gift of a high metabolism. Im working on it and doing the best I can and people like you arent helping so shut your mouth or I will gladly shut it for you. Just because a person is fat doesnt mean you should treat them like shit PERIOD.

Now as far as dateing...When I was smaller (still overweight but not as much as I am now) I had it alot easier...but after highschool when I really put on the pounds (and not from twinkies you SOB or beer) Dateing became alot harder. and lets not kid ourselves its because we are fat. Soceity has made us scum of the earth. And I disagree with PK on women haveing it worse. It doesnt matter what sex you are being fat sucks ass in this day and age and fat MEN get it just as bad. If you think about it...its still easier for a fat woman to get a date than it is for a fat man. Their are plenty of men who are fans of the junk in the trunk. More so than there are women who are fans of jelly bellies unless of course that belly comes with a fat ass wallet.

Now I wouldnt go as far as to sacrifice any of those things to be thinner. and the people who are simply want an easy way out of their fat asses. Sorry you want to be thinner...you need to work for it plain and simple. That does mean that fat people are lazy. but they just dont know what else to do. You need to work but you need to do it right. I would say you need to do some reading and figure out your body before you set up a plan of attack.

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/18/2006 7:28 pm:
I agree. Twinkies suck. Although, Twinkies themselves are fun to make fun of. Will they survive a nuclear blast? Do they turn to pure alcohol if you age them for ten years? The list goes on.

I know you've been trying to lose weight for years. I remember these things. I agree, grilled chicken does get tiring. Not to mention, it's dry. My downfall tends to be PMS cravings. Mind you, they tell you if you don't give into the cravings, your cramps won't be so bad. Yeah, tell that to a woman with raging PMS and you're liable to be murdered. Just give me the chocolate and I'll take my salt straight, please.

Now, I don't consider it a weakness. I think you beat yourself up too much when you take a day off a month and give into the cravings. Any doctor will tell you, if you don't do that, you will end off falling off the wagon and having a huge binge. No matter how stringent the diet, they tell you to treat yourself once in a while. They also tell you, the slower you lose the weight, the less likely you are to gain it all back at once.

Yo-yo dieting is responsible for more health problems than anything. Losing and gaining back and forth is incredibly hard on the heart. It is about will power. I won't fight you on that. But you've been losing weight more steadily than I could. I don't have that kind of will power.

NickRules999 39M
9462 posts
5/18/2006 4:33 pm

I'm glad you posted about this. I have always suffered from depression, but I'll tell you this, it isn't coz of my weight. I'm heavier than I "should" be, according to doctors, but I don't let that get to me. I suffer from clinical depression, and anyone could have it. Even thin people can be clinically depressed. With clinical depression, the sun could be shining, the day could be perfect, and you'd still be depressed. Could it be a factor in obesity (I didn't want to use that word, but I really wish there was another.)? Maybe. I couldn't say flat out that it is, but I wouldn't rule it out. Sometimes, it's a small part.

People that are clinically depressed have less energy and less motivation to do things. Things that were fun before aren't fun now, and even simple things, like sweeping the floor and going to the store seem like falling off a ledge. People that have the "fuck the world" attitude find themselves content to sit and mourn what was once their lives, and that is one factor. But it is only one cause of obesity.

Another factor is genetics. There are people genetically predetermined to be overweight, simply due to the fact their parents and other realatives are. Pretty much like baldness.

As for me, it would be nice to shake off the weight, but I know it won't happen. I think, for me, it's both. Depression and genetics. I, for the longest time, hated my life, and depression still creeps up now and then. And, my father has a big ass, and I have a big ass. But we're trying to keep in somewhat reasonable shape. If you look at us, we're not that bad looking.

Society at large has been conditioned to think that all people gotta do is quit eating and start exercising, and the pounds just melt away. Bullshit. It's never that easy. And, I know there are other factors involved. I have named only two. My weight isn't a problem. The fuckers that brainwash us into following the next miracle diet is the problem. Like that Atkins guy. The Atkins diet caught on like gangbusters. But, Atkins himself is dead. What does that tell you? If the guy that started a miracle diet is dead, then why am I gonna jump on board? It might have been the diet that killed him.

But that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.

Come into my realm! You aren't afraid...are you?

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/18/2006 7:36 pm:
Robert Atkins slipped on ice outside his office, hit his head and sustained brain injuries. He slipped into a coma and died two weeks later of kidney failure. The loudest critics of his diet scream about how he was 260 pounds when he died, yeah, so much for how well his diet worked. However, on his admission to the hospital, he was 195 pounds. All that excess weight was fluid retention from the organ failure.

You're right about clinical depression. Some anti-depressants will cause weight gain, other people I know who suffer depression eat to relieve the depression. If they could put whatever it is in chocolate that calms a person when they are feeling manic, candy companies would go out of business.

ElegantGreenEyes 55F

5/18/2006 5:59 pm

Atkins died from a head injury after a fall.

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/18/2006 7:37 pm:
Yep. There's lots of propaganda out there about his death too.

cuteNEway 41F

5/18/2006 6:24 pm

I hate myself for getting this fat.
I hate myself because I'm a loser that can't control her eating habits.
I hate myself because I don't like healthy shit.
I'm embarrassed to be around my family.
I'm embarrassed to leave the house.
I'm embarrassed to look in the mirror.
I cry every night.
I walk with my head hung low.
I don't look people in the eye.
I see the stares.
I hear the giggles.
So YES I would sacrifice a year of my life to be thin. Even if it is for a short while. Just so I can feel what it's like not to be made fun of. To wear pretty clothes without making them look like Dollar Store rags. To know what its like to not have to settle. So that I can finally see pride in my parents eyes. All I see is Daddy's disappointment and Mommy's pity.

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/18/2006 7:43 pm:
OK, let's say you got to be rail thin for a day. Kate Moss thin. What would you do then when you see the stares and think people are giggling at you? You know I'm of the opinion the first thing you have to do is get the depression in check. Just because you hear someone giggling in the same room as you, it doesn't mean they're giggling at you. That was something we used to do at parties when stoned. The girls would sit in a circle and giggle, every so often glance over at the guys. They would think we were talking about them, laughing and they'd get really paranoid. We were giggling because we were stoned and we weren't even talking about them. We'd glance over to see who was still there, or because one got loud.

RevJoseyWales 69M/66F
14393 posts
5/18/2006 6:52 pm

One must be carful what the we wish for. I saw that epsiode of Charmned too. All kidding aside, I want to be thin not so much for my vanity, as for my health. When I carry as much extra as I do, it effects my health, and I am SO tired of that. Yeah, old and married are probalby to too biggets> Joe

"McVeigh had the right idea, wrong address."

"This ain't Dodge City, and you ain't Bill Hickok."

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/18/2006 7:45 pm:
I've actually never been a fan of Charmed. What did I miss?

Yeah, I would like to drop some weight so I won't be at high risk for various health problems, especially given my other habits. I'm on the border of obese at the moment and I would like to change that.

RevJoseyWales 69M/66F
14393 posts
5/18/2006 8:12 pm

Carol loves it, and I like it myself. It isn't realistic, but after all, it's TV. They did a "genie in the bottle" episode. As you know, every wish fulfilled comes with a kicker. Am I vain Ann? oO course. Anyone who says they don't want to look good is doing a Whitney Houston. I'll never be a Chippendale, but I would like to look better, asnd I'll damn site feel better without ALL of the extra weight. But I digress. Your point is that the public preception of "fat" people is untrue nd unfair, and I completely agree. Being slender isn't as easy as some would like you to believe, and not being able to do so can be scarring. Joe

"McVeigh had the right idea, wrong address."

"This ain't Dodge City, and you ain't Bill Hickok."

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/19/2006 3:55 am:
There's an old Twilight Zone like that. A couple who owns an antique store get a bottle that contains a genie.

You know, people tell me I'm being self-defeatest and down on myself when I say, I want to get a job in a strip club. As a closer. Telling them all, get up, get out or my clothes come off. I swear, some people do NOT have a sense of humor.

I'm vain too. Which is why I never look at myself in the mirror sideways. My biggest vain concern is getting jowls.

8321 posts
5/18/2006 10:44 pm


You might be right about the demographics, but we will never know for sure.

I really can't say, nor do I have any hunch about it.

I know for a fact that genetics determine whether you will be overweight or not, more so than any changes you make to your lifestyle.

The body wants homeostasis and for some people that is carrying 20-30% bodyfat. Dieting and exercise will cut in to that to some degree but it has to be a permanent fixture or the body will naturally gain back the weight to get to a comfortable level.

For those who can't lose weight from diet alone, exercise WILL have some effect.


"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/19/2006 3:57 am:
Exercise does have an effect. But everyone has to find their own form, that works best for them. For me, it's walking.

lifeisablast333 53M

5/18/2006 11:33 pm

The world is full of crazy folks.......

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/19/2006 3:58 am:
The ones I think are mentally disturbed in that survey are the ones who would rather their children be anorexic than overweight and the ones who would rather go blind. I swear, the synapses aren't firing right in those people.

ElegantGreenEyes 55F

5/19/2006 3:40 am

I agree with Miss Ann. I don't know you really at all, but depression will kill you faster than being overweight will. It will kill your spirit, and that's the worst.

Losing weight won't make you have a great life, a boyfriend, a fabulous job, friends. What will happen (and trust me - I *know*) is you will have do a LOT of self-examination afterwards. You won't be able to say "I don't have a great life, a boyfriend, a fabulous job, friends because I'm FAT". You'll have to look for the *real* reason you're unhappy. The excuse of "I'm fat" won't be there any longer, and that's a *real* eye-opener.

Good luck with your journey.

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/19/2006 3:50 am:
That's very true, Elegant. Which is why I don't push myself, I don't punish myself, I let myself be myself. I came to grips with the idea I would never be a thin person years ago, but at the moment, I have weight over what I prefer thanks to the fact I haven't been walking every day. Which is the only way I lose weight. In spite of the fact that when I do that, my MO is, I walk a mile and a half, stop at Dunkin Donuts for a caramel latte, walk more in the same direction until it's gone and then take the bus back.

nightstalker172 36M
1258 posts
5/19/2006 5:00 am

Wait wait wait WAIT!

Hold on a second here...you walk about a mile and a half to a DUNKIN DONUTS!and then walk until said treat is gone and then catch the BUS! home. I just I mean...good lord what the hell kind of diet and exercise program is that ...I wish I could use that exact plan to lose weight. But I guess when you look at your goal it works for you. My goal is to be stronger and faster than I used to be in an above average range.

Now elegant brings up an interesting point that I never really thought of till now. People haveing a shitty life and blaiming it on being fat....some people might not want to lose that weight because then they would have to except the fact that THEY are responsible for their shitty life and they cant face that. I never considered that till now. Granted being overweight doesnt help...it does seem to make things worse as far as the quality of life a person will often lead and how they are treated by other people orbiting them...I mean around them...(sorry it just came to me)....anyway...

Missann you say I push myself too hard...and I agree with you I do. I have pushed myself to the point of hurting myself on many occasions...Ive always been that way...including in sports...I have sustained battle scars o'plenty from such behavior...but if I didnt push I would never reach my goal....I just have to know when Im pushing too hard and when Im going too easy...but see you said it right their you came to grips with the IDEA that you will never be thin. And its just that an idea...if you pushed you could acheive it if it was something you really desired....Im not saying you should...If you pushed just little bit you could do better and you know this. So you shouldnt say its impossible for you because it isnt...its just harder for some people than others...but if you are truly happy with being the way you are then why does it bother you so when others talk about fat people in a bad way?...because its actaully a reflection of you...most people who read this kind of stuff get offended because its really talking about them...and they hate being made fun of...I hate it...It pisses me off that people treat others badly simply because they carry a few extra pounds on the gut...I think you loath the fact that in order to be looked apone favorably by the general public you need to be thin. So you choose to stay a bit overweight to weed out the vain....as you said in original post about hagen-daz.....but thats why I like ya so much ....it shows strength in my opinion to fight society by not being what they exspect you to be...by being yourself...but I dont think that its impossible for you either if you really tried...and I dont see how it should change who you are if you are thin or chubby...as far as what others think...fuck em...Thin or fat...doesnt mean you have to stop being sadistic and evil

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/19/2006 6:18 pm:
Well, I get it with no sugar. (Even with a regular coffee, if I use half a packet of sugar in a large, that's a lot.) Not to mention, I don't stop there every single time I walk by. We're not talking about Starbucks here, with their burned beans and heavy sugar to mask the burnt taste. But as far as taking the bus back, I will have walked two or three miles in one direction before I go home.

Now, I've never blamed things on me being fat. Other than it's the clothing manufacturer's fault I'm not a size 6. Have they never heard of vanity sizing?

Now, as far as society goes... I'm short, plain looking and dumpy. If you don't like my looks, my body type, etc, then don't fucking look at me. I am the type to look at someone and ask them what the hell they're looking at? There are so many better reasons for bouts of self-loathing other than being fat. But if people are trying to lose weight for other people, instead of for themselves, then they're doing it for the wrong reasons.

RevJoseyWales 69M/66F
14393 posts
5/19/2006 5:05 am

Ann, do you have ANY idea how hard it is to find men's clothes in 44 Dwarf? It's tough, let me tell you. BTW, the Adkins diet did work for me. I lost 70 pounds in 9 months on it. Of course I had the added incentive that I'd FUCKING DIE if I didn't loose the weight. Problem is, when you go off of it, they come back rapidly. There is NO magic bullet. I struggle with it every day, but I'm determined not to let it win.

"McVeigh had the right idea, wrong address."

"This ain't Dodge City, and you ain't Bill Hickok."

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/19/2006 6:21 pm:
um... As hard as it is to find clothes in my current size 16 dwarf? Even if I was thin, I'd STILL have to have petite slacks shortened. I know a few people who have had luck on Atkins. However, I have to have bread. If not on a daily basis, at least a few times a week. So I could never survive Atkins.

MaggiesWishes 59F

5/19/2006 5:59 am

I'm doomed!
I live with my cat, that's the first clue.
I'm doomed!
I have no boyfriend, that's my 2nd clue.
I'm doomed!

Great post, sweet lady
Give them HELL for me too!

Happy Nekkie Friday, just in case
warm huggies

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/19/2006 6:22 pm:
We're all doomed. But I base that on watching and reading the news.

I hope you had a good Nekkie Friday. Here in NJ, it was a fully clothed, turn on the heat, get out the sweaters and watch the thunderstorms Friday.

rm_VoodooGuru1 49M
2053 posts
5/19/2006 2:41 pm

Know what's funny? A couple of the women who have commented to this post in agreement indicate on their cupid settings that they aren't interested in hearing from someone who is a few pounds overweight.

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/19/2006 6:24 pm:
So do a few of the men. What's your point?

RevJoseyWales 69M/66F
14393 posts
5/20/2006 10:05 am

Adkins does work, but like I said, there is no magic bullet. It's gotta be diet and exercise. And even then, you're only going to drop to a certain weight, and that's that. My problem most recently has been exercise. As a severe depressive, I've had a lot of problems actually gettng the energy to move, much less exercise. Hopefully a medication change will help there. I guess my point is weight for many of us will always be a struggle. As many have said, we have to learn to love ourselves too. BTW, you are STILL a very attractive woman. Perhaps because of the person that you are. Joe

"McVeigh had the right idea, wrong address."

"This ain't Dodge City, and you ain't Bill Hickok."

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