Am I Supposed To Be Insulted Or Something?  

MissAnnThrope 56F
11679 posts
6/16/2006 10:36 pm

Last Read:
7/9/2008 1:55 pm

Am I Supposed To Be Insulted Or Something?

Today, I got a form letter. For the most part, the usual thing. I was going to delete until I saw his profile and realized he didn't read a word of mine. Or do anything other than look at location. However, I felt compelled to write back to him. It wouldn't even be blog-worthy, if not for what I got back from him, which still has me giggling.

Date: Jun 16, 2006 4:36 PM EDT
Subject: kisses and Bloomfield professor at night

NJ SWM 5-8, 40s who's Intelligent, very romantic, easy going, stubborn (Taurus) man who desires a friend leading to more.
I seek and intelligent, confident lady who wants be loved, loves being physical in private and in public (kissing, holding hands and lovemaking for hours).
I'm looking for a serious relationship and a sexual one as I am an oral expert and large c*ck available for you now.
Email me at (address deleted, but done in such a way it would have bounced for the caps) for chat and a date.

OK. Now let me just say, if I hadn't recognized this as a form letter right off the bat, his having to throw in his endowment and how he's an oral expert (the ones who claim they are never are) would have turned me off. Especially since this is a sex site and this guy can't even say cock.

So, out of curiosity, especially the bit about the professor, I took a look at his profile. What are the first things I see? Big red Xes next to my smoking status and body type. You know, in all three of my profile pics, there is a cigarette in my hand. It's supposed to clue people in to the fact I smoke. Right? Well, then I read the text. The all cap ideal person text... Here's an excerpt:


OK, he wants legs that go on forever and he's writing to 4'11" me? Well, the attitude of his profile, the miswording of his form letter, the fact he didn't read my profile, coupled with the fact I am very much pre and bitchy at the moment, I wrote back.

From: MissAnnThrope
Date: Jun 16, 2006 6:21 PM EDT
Subject: RE: kisses and Bloomfield professor at night

Thank you for your form letter. Sadly, you did not read my profile. Or you would not have written to me. I am 4'11" and overweight. I do NOT have legs that go on forever. I am a heavy smoker. On your profile, which I extended you the courtesy of actually reading, you have giant red Xes next to my body type and smoking status. So I'm afraid I'm not suitable for either the job of serious girlfriend or the sidepiece. Even if I was, I don't do affairs and I would not be happy with a boyfriend having a sexual relationship on the side. You might rethink trying to please two women at once. Or, if that's not what you meant, rephrase your form letter, to make it clear you want that in one woman.

I am not a size queen. If I were, someone who can't spell cock would turn me off. Especially one who can't decide if he's a professor or a video game producer. Or is this a case of you want to be the teacher and are looking for a slut to play the schoolgirl? If that is the case, you don't want a woman, period. But a twinkie with no brains in her head or will of her own.

I do wish you luck in your search for a woman who isn't clever enough to recognize contradictions or double speak.


Yeah, I'm in a mood. But I let him off lightly. That should have been the end, right? Take some friendly advice, read profiles from now on, etc. But he has to write back. With a quick response. Which I'm sure was supposed to be very insulting, but instead made me almost wet myself laughing.

Date: Jun 16, 2006 10:37 PM EDT

Quick Response: Sorry, I'm not interested in gay or bi men.

Yep. As I suspected. He's not looking for a woman at all. He's looking for a twinkie to let him be daddy. Yet another one who doesn't want a woman with her own mind and thinks we're wounded easily.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm still laughing and I don't have one Depends in the apartment.

OboesHonedIambs 62F

6/16/2006 11:09 pm

OMG! He's context impaired! LMAO!

Instant Human -- Just Add Coffee

MissAnnThrope replies on 6/17/2006 2:05 am:
Yes. He even recinded his network invitation. After that quick response, I was tempted to take him up on the offer. Everyone needs at least one pretend gay man in their network!

TheLilFondler 33F  
2576 posts
6/16/2006 11:33 pm

LMAO way too funny!!!!!!!!!!

i lost my virginity years ago.....
but i still have the box.....

MissAnnThrope replies on 6/17/2006 2:06 am:
Isn't it? I'm giggling at it again!

oldman1776 78M
3164 posts
6/17/2006 12:10 am

LMOAO. Some of us men don't have many smarts.

MissAnnThrope replies on 6/17/2006 2:07 am:
Not to mention, massive egos and a misogynistic streak. Which he seems to have.

TechSteve 49M

6/17/2006 6:29 am

This was funny.

Even the greeting was not personal lol.

There is so much advice on the site about letters and pics etc and so many of these guys dont take advantage of it.


MissAnnThrope replies on 6/17/2006 4:27 pm:
There was no greeting! I was really tempted to write back to him in form letter style, complete with "Dear Potential Suitor," and a generic check list of why I was turning him down. But it seemed too much like work. I really do have to write one of those, though.

I swear, the men here get weirder all the time. I miss when this site was much smaller. The men were far more willing to take advice from the women, instead of acting like they're entitled to get laid. Yes, there were a few gold members back then who felt because they paid the women were morally obliged. Most of them just ended up trying to get their money back from the site when they were set straight.

The sad part is, we can type our fingers to the bone in the blogs and the advice lines. But the people who most need to read those things never do.

TheRealThing655 48F
9558 posts
6/17/2006 7:05 am

I just love when you do posts like this
It's always these types of guys who respond back to have the so-called "last" word. Too frigging funny.
Thanks for sharing!!

MissAnnThrope replies on 6/17/2006 4:29 pm:
Thanks Real. I have to say, since I got my ball, the amount of hate mail has really fallen off. Which is a good thing. The bad thing is, the number of emails I get that are nothing but phone numbers and messenger addresses has risen.

I knew as soon as I saw his pics, he would have to have the last word. I just didn't realize how hysterically funny it would be.

SleekIcilyVarix 41M

6/17/2006 7:13 am

lol...guys like this inspired my blog post: First Message- Rejection or Making a Connection

Essentially, it's the Complete Idiot's Guide to Initial Contact.
Send him along, not that he would likely be able to comprehend the content.

MissAnnThrope replies on 6/17/2006 4:32 pm:
I read it, great advice. I've also added you to my ever growing watched list.

I wrote something similar last year called Advice For N00b Whinging Men. Too bad it's buried so far back these days. Maybe I should put together a greatest hits post...

I would send him along and have him read my old post too. However, I have the sneaking suspicion he's blocked any further contact from me. That's what they do when they're determined to have the last word.

NickRules999 39M
9464 posts
6/17/2006 8:18 am


That was funny.

I wonder if he meant to select that quick response, or if chose it by accident? I gotta say, it's far better than the insulting last words.

Come into my realm! You aren't afraid...are you?

MissAnnThrope replies on 6/17/2006 4:35 pm:
You know, I thought maybe that was the case. But "I'm not interested in gay or bi men" is right in between, "I'm looking for a different physical type" and "I just started a new relationship." Well, I told him I wasn't his physical type, so there was no reason whatsoever for him to send that one and obviously, he hasn't started a new relationship, or he wouldn't be sending women form letters. I really did get the feeling I was supposed to challenge the fact he called me a man and prove I was a woman. I get a lot of that for some reason.

header1979 37M
507 posts
6/17/2006 8:38 am

Hey MissAnn,

I have been a guy all my life but I can't believe what I am learning about men on this website. Between you and Rdy2try4's blog, it is like a Ripley's Believe or Not side show of lame ass men. Unbelievable. I don't know how these men ever get any sex in their lives at all. I suspect most of them must be having a love affair with their hands. lol

MissAnnThrope replies on 6/17/2006 4:40 pm:
You know header, I just had to look at this guy's pictures and I knew there was a reason he was divorced and it wasn't the fact his wife was doing the pool boy. He just has that look about him.

I know this site isn't a fair representation of the human race. Only about 1% of the female population in this country use it and only about 2.5% of the male population. But about 90% of that 2.5% are complete and utter fucktards. I pray every night those men never breed. There are only so many Wal*Mart greeter jobs to go around for their spawn and I highly doubt said progeny could even make change at McDonald's or a gas station. This site is fast turning into that sideshow. I wonder if there's a way we can get in touch with their mothers and show them how they act towards women...

TheLilFondler 33F  
2576 posts
6/17/2006 8:38 am

yea everytime i open ans see his name i laugh LMAO

i lost my virginity years ago.....
but i still have the box.....

MissAnnThrope replies on 6/17/2006 4:41 pm:
Yeah, I know. Some people really don't think out their names first.

rm_kelli4u2dew 41F
5220 posts
6/17/2006 8:54 am

I wonder who wrote his form letter for him ... it doesn't appear that he knows how to read at all.

MissAnnThrope replies on 6/17/2006 4:42 pm:
Maybe his secretary. Or his ex-wife, who could be dying to pawn him off on the first woman who comes along, so he'll leave her the hell alone.

RevJoseyWales 69M/66F
14393 posts
6/17/2006 12:00 pm

Idiots abound. Are you sure he isn't Republican. Did he get your name from tigger? Maybe he's thinking of Ann COULTER? Joe

"McVeigh had the right idea, wrong address."

"This ain't Dodge City, and you ain't Bill Hickok."

MissAnnThrope replies on 6/17/2006 4:47 pm:
Or at least masturbating to her Time cover? Which I hear she had a fit over, calling the editor all sorts of names. He does look like a Republican, I will say that. I almost added something about that to the letter.

real36CgirlPA 38F

6/17/2006 3:22 pm

The Always gel weave pads would likely work if you're in a bind...heheh. I accidentally sent an unused pantyliner through the wash in one of my pants pockets and it swelled into a breast implant, so they must be pretty absorbent.

I am starting to shut my profile off when I'm online because it's the only way I don't get generic emails from guys who email me for no real reason besides that I'm online. Damn that "Who's online now" feature.

MissAnnThrope replies on 6/17/2006 4:50 pm:
I wonder if I have any of those. I desperately need to do laundry and I would love to see that in action. Gel weave, you say...

The newer a man is to this site, the less of a clue he has. I mean, this guy talks about how he wants a serious relationship, but only talks about sex in his letter? His profile only touches on any interests other than sex, too. At least try to be original. I'm so thinking of hiding something in the middle of my profile and saying you have to say this in any letter to me if you want me to believe you even bothered to read my profile.

real36CgirlPA 38F

6/17/2006 6:32 pm

I actually just went and looked at the name, it's Always cleanweave pantiliners. They're a little more expensive, but I guess it's worth it for space program technology, right?

MissAnnThrope replies on 6/18/2006 11:31 am:
Heh. I just have the dry weave pads here. I'm going to have to go to the store, as soon as the temperature drops under 90 today. I have to test this out.

rm_johnnybee48 59M

6/17/2006 6:38 pm

Sounds to me that you sent him back to school.


MissAnnThrope replies on 6/18/2006 11:32 am:
I did my best. Sadly, I'm probably the ONLY one who is going to bother to extend him the courtesy of telling him to read profiles. You know as well as I, most women just hit delete and don't write back.

(What the fuck is this shit..?? *rolls eyes*)

6/18/2006 4:02 am

Blogged about the same thing: Form e-mails now how LAZY is that..!!.. Sexy and Brains NO way, just be dumb and cum...Fuck them or better put UN-fuck them...You gave this NON-Female unit far more than it deserved...Ready


MissAnnThrope replies on 6/18/2006 11:42 am:
Yep. A lot of us do that. Then, when we're smart enough to recognise what it is, they get pissed off. It also gives you a look into their mentality. They claim they want women with brains, but they want gullible women who do more than watch soap operas and chick flicks. They want someone who can balance their checkbooks for them. While giving them a blow job. That's about it.

RevJoseyWales 69M/66F
14393 posts
6/18/2006 8:17 am

Republican? Hell yeah. What's this about athletic build? He's looking for Angelina with a lobotomy. At 5'8" "legs that go on forever" will tower over him. Believe me I know. At least his profile got a lot of hits. AdultFriendFinder needs to set up a course these guys have to take before they can post a profile. He's probably a nice guy trying too hard to sound sexy. Men will do that. Joe

So that's where tigger got his pic? It's real? I thought it was one of those joke ones.

"McVeigh had the right idea, wrong address."

"This ain't Dodge City, and you ain't Bill Hickok."

MissAnnThrope replies on 6/18/2006 11:48 am:
Now you see, I didn't get nice guy off of this one at all. I got arrogant prick, just from his eyes in his pics. You have to look behind the eyes.

Now, when I think of legs that go on forever, I never think Angelina Jolie. I always think of Anita Morris. Remember her? Complete bombshell. Which is what this guy wants and thinks he deserves.

No real comment on your last thought, other than look at the copyright date on it.

flagg134 36M
1582 posts
6/18/2006 7:01 pm

Ah yes the beauty of the internet. It empowers and magnifies human stupidity. Where else would you find someone saying I want a woman with legs that go on forever hit on someone who is 4'11". Take away the blatant visual and all you have left is what they read which about amounts to woman.... beyond that no further research is required before attempting contact.


MissAnnThrope replies on 6/19/2006 3:00 am:
Well, maybe he thought my head and torso come to all of 18 inches...

I swear, they don't even look past the picture and location anymore.

keithcancook 60M
17841 posts
6/18/2006 11:54 pm

I sorta liked his "retort".

^ . . ^

( @ )


MissAnnThrope replies on 6/19/2006 3:07 am:
I found it funny myself. He didn't quite get the reaction he was trying for.

rdy2try4 51F  
3058 posts
6/19/2006 7:17 am

Thanks Ann and Header...for sharing and laughing as well as enjoying the laughter these guys bring us. I just posted in the "A polite no thank you" blog found here ---> rdy2try4 this idiot that when I said no to him and actually asked him if he read my profile....OMG>.he admitted openly that NO he did not read it. He saw the pic and ripped off an email. However....much to the laugher of myself almost to the pee point, he gave me an entire dissertation that "all men are pigs and only think about *breeding*" in such detail that I HAD to post it. Folks, please go read this one. OMG...the REAL men on the site should bash this asshole. I have had a few emails already asking who this phucktard is because they as men were so insulted that this guy used the "men are pigs so live with it and just f*ck me anyways" line.

Totally, I have no clue where these guys come from. I think a factory had a mishap on the line and if we can find the leak maybe we can plug it up. hahahaha

MissAnnThrope replies on 6/19/2006 4:25 pm:
Now, now... How can they bash when you never give handles?

I swear to you, these men are from another planet.

cuteNEway 41F

6/19/2006 9:54 pm

and again
and again
and again
and again
and again
and again
and again
It never fuckin ends!

tee hee

MissAnnThrope replies on 6/20/2006 2:54 am:
tehehe... Hey, at least he was amusing as he tried to insult me.

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