A Product No One Needs  

MissAnnThrope 56F
11679 posts
5/15/2006 2:04 am

Last Read:
6/12/2008 11:54 pm

A Product No One Needs

I so wish I was making this up:

Eau de Stilton: cheesy perfume with a pong

LONDON (AFP) - Lovers of Britain's pungent Stilton cheese can now fill their nostrils with its notorious aroma, which has been captured in a new perfume, the makers said.

For the love of God, why?

The Stilton Cheese Makers Association plans to introduce Eau de Stilton sometime this year or early next year.

They want to beat the makers of Eau de Halibut to the market.

The scent has the "earthy and fruity" aroma of the blue-veined cheese but is unlike the smell of "old socks" that some people associate with Stilton, the manufacturer claims.

Earthy and fruity, not like old socks? Then it doesn't smell like Stilton.

One female Stilton employee told AFP: "I've had the perfume on all day and none of the men complained."

All but three of them were too congested from hay fever to be able to smell her. The other three were too polite to tell her she stunk. Notice she doesn't say they told her how good she smelled?

The scent includes yarrow, angelica seed, clary sage and valerian and has been blended by ID Aromatics, based in Manchester, northern England.

HA! It contains valerian. Valerian root smells like old gym socks. The stuff is rank. It's also beyond strong. Cats love it though. It gets them higher than catnip.

Stilton was first made in the 18th century and over a million Stilton cheeses are produced nowadays.

Call me a philistine with an uneducated palliate, but I can't even get past the smell of Stilton. Not to mention, any cheese with veins is a turn off, as those veins are mold.

Only six creameries, near Stilton village in central England, are authorised to make genuine Stilton cheese.

The only ones who will be wearing this perfume will be the workers at these factories. When they want to take a day off, but not tell the family. Or if they get fired and want the family to think they're at work all day.

Seriously, who would wear this? Did anyone else flash on that Monty Python routine about really bad perfumes? I can't imagine anyone wanting to wear this fragrance. Then again, I don't work in a cheese factory where the smell has gotten to me and is eating away at my brain, either.

EroticaXTC 49F

5/15/2006 5:44 am

"Eau de GAGG"

Naturally, some idiot will throw a hundred bucks away on that bottle, only to wake up in bed full of cats....hmmmm, haven't seen my furry pets this morning...where could they be...?????

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/16/2006 5:24 am:
They're swimming for the UK? You're right about eau de gag. If the smell of Stilton actually improves a person's body odor, that person needs to be introduced to soap and water.

blueguy1051 60M

5/15/2006 7:56 am

On sale at fine perfumeries who also carry Eau de Diesel, Carrion du Toilet Water, and Eau de Subway.

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/16/2006 5:26 am:
Let's not forget that perennial favorite, Midnight Polecat.

rm_1hotwahine 62F
21091 posts
5/15/2006 11:37 am

This reminds me of Gilroy, CA's annual garlic festival, which predominately features garlic ice cream. Yuck. But edible, surprisingly. Just have a hint of garlic that is outweighed by sugar and cream.

It's a PR move. Doing this won't cost anymore than advertising and any sales will be a way to recoup a little of the cost. Also the PR that this will generate will make it even more worthwhile. Heck, it got it onto an adult website, even.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/16/2006 5:28 am:
I've heard of garlic ice cream. As a matter of fact, there's a site that will make it for you and ship it, all for something like $30 a half gallon. I think it's an acquired taste. Just like wanting to smell like Stilton.

PrincessKarma 43F
6188 posts
5/15/2006 1:37 pm

It should read "created by Vomitive Parfums."*urk*

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/16/2006 5:29 am:
Eau de Vomit... That might work too.

RevJoseyWales 69M/66F
14393 posts
5/15/2006 3:11 pm

Think "death metal". Think "death metal" Never had stillson cheese, but I HAVE eaten authentic Kimchee. Does that count? Joe

"McVeigh had the right idea, wrong address."

"This ain't Dodge City, and you ain't Bill Hickok."

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/16/2006 5:31 am:
Only if you wore it as a fragrance.

flagg134 36M
1582 posts
5/15/2006 8:18 pm

    Quoting EroticaXTC:
    "Eau de GAGG"

    Naturally, some idiot will throw a hundred bucks away on that bottle, only to wake up in bed full of cats....hmmmm, haven't seen my furry pets this morning...where could they be...?????
Now that I think about it $100 to wake up in a bed filled
with "pussy" would be a bargain to some of the guys on this site.


MissAnnThrope replies on 5/16/2006 5:31 am:
ah... But none of the men here want pussies with claws.

NickRules999 39M
9462 posts
5/15/2006 8:55 pm

They say truth is stranger than fiction. This is strange indeed. And I can assume it'll only get stranger. Some company, not to be outdone, might make a limberger cheese perfume. Ugh!!

My apologies to anyone who just got grossed out reading that.

Come into my realm! You aren't afraid...are you?

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/16/2006 5:32 am:
I think I'd rather wear Midnight Polecat than Eau de Limburger. Blech.

OboesHonedIambs 62F

5/15/2006 11:02 pm

Why? Because they can. Is there are valid reason to do so? Not that I can think of. Of what use is a cheesy perfume?

Instant Human -- Just Add Coffee

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/16/2006 5:42 am:
Well, if you're a furry...

I keep flashing on an episode of "Family Guy" where Stewie is trying to keep his parents from having sex, as they're thinking about another kid. He gets into bed with them, Peter rolls over on him and Stewie says, "Smells like cheese."

8321 posts
5/16/2006 3:49 pm

It's strictly a British thing.

Can't see that catching on here, even though you know somewhere there is a fetish group for something like this.

I do have a strange suspicion that Dysgyzed will be making an order though...


"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur

MissAnnThrope replies on 5/16/2006 5:38 pm:
Nah. Dysgyzed can't lure victims to the cemetery if she already smells like one.

Please don't hurt me, Dysgyzed!

As far as fetish groups go, I really can see furries who have a thing for mouse furries wearing it.

dirtynastygirl2 54F

5/17/2006 10:13 am

It would be a good way to attract bottom feeders if you're into that.
Hmmm, better yet maybe that is where your suppose to dab it on!


MissAnnThrope replies on 5/17/2006 12:00 pm:
ew! Ew! EW! Bad thoughts! Bad thoughts!

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