A Performance Piece  

MissAnnThrope 56F
11679 posts
6/20/2006 3:41 am

Last Read:
10/2/2007 6:26 pm

A Performance Piece

I couldn't resist. I slipped into a troll handle and IMed the scammer I told you all about two posts back. As a gay man. Yes, what I suspected years ago is true. I am a true Internet performance artist.

I'm posting my IM session with him in its entirety. Yes, I managed to confuse him all sorts of ways. I apologize in advance to anyone who hates stereotypes. I emulated every raging queen who was a stereotype that I ever knew in my life. Now, if homosexual content bothers you, you shouldn't read this, as I did get a tiny bit vulgar. But otherwise, enjoy the show.

Session Start (gayman4u2c:jimmy_peters1): Mon Jun 19 21:57:13 2006
[21:57] gayman4u2c: Hi sexy
[21:57] gayman4u2c: You wrote to a friend on AdultFriendFinder and since you're gay and in denial, she gave me your name.
[21:58] gayman4u2c: Don't be shy. I saw you starting to type.
[21:58] jimmy_peters1: plz were are you from
[21:58] gayman4u2c: New York City.
[21:59] jimmy_peters1: m or F
[21:59] gayman4u2c: What do you think, tiger? Your profile on AdultFriendFinder says your gay.
[22:00] jimmy_peters1: am a gay also
[22:00] gayman4u2c: Yeah?
[22:00] gayman4u2c: Cool!
[22:00] jimmy_peters1: plz ur name
[22:01] gayman4u2c: Bruce.
[22:01] jimmy_peters1: M OR F
[22:01] gayman4u2c: I told you, sugarbuns. I'm a gay man.
[22:01] jimmy_peters1: okay
[22:02] jimmy_peters1: how are you doing
[22:02] gayman4u2c: I'm super! Thanks for asking.
[22:02] gayman4u2c: How are you?
[22:03] jimmy_peters1: am cool here also
[22:03] gayman4u2c: Well, it's hot here. Hot gets me horny.
[22:03] gayman4u2c: Are you a top or a bottom?
[22:04] jimmy_peters1: here is cool
[22:04] jimmy_peters1: plz are u on phone
[22:04] gayman4u2c: Here it's hot and humid.
[22:04] gayman4u2c: No, I'm not giving my number out to the first queen I meet. And international calls are expensive.
[22:04] jimmy_peters1: okay
[22:05] jimmy_peters1: also can you call me
[22:05] gayman4u2c: I just told you, Mary. We can chat here for now.
[22:05] gayman4u2c: Are you ever going to tell me if you're a top or a bottom?
[22:06] jimmy_peters1: i did not understand that
[22:06] gayman4u2c: And you say you're gay.
[22:06] gayman4u2c: I bet you're just another scammer out to make a fast buck.
[22:07] jimmy_peters1: plz what is all this
[22:07] gayman4u2c: What is all what?
[22:07] jimmy_peters1: so you call me a scammer
[22:08] jimmy_peters1: ding
[22:08] gayman4u2c: I'm saying if you don't know what top and bottom means and you claim to be from Washington State and are living in Nigeria, then yes. Are you going to prove me wrong, sugar britches?
[22:09] jimmy_peters1: ohh okay
[22:10] jimmy_peters1: i was in usa for about 5 mount visite me friend
[22:10] jimmy_peters1: also am from nigeria
[22:10] gayman4u2c: So you're not really from Washington? Like your profile says?
[22:11] gayman4u2c: Because if we hit it off, I was going to suggest we set up house in Boston, where we can live in wedded bliss for the rest of our lives.
[22:12] jimmy_peters1: okay
[22:12] gayman4u2c: Boston is expensive though. What do you do for a living? I'm a waiter.
[22:13] jimmy_peters1: am doing fine
[22:14] gayman4u2c: I mean, what's your job? Your occupation? How do you earn your keep?
[22:14] jimmy_peters1: okay
[22:15] jimmy_peters1: am selling electronics
[22:15] gayman4u2c: What kind?
[22:16] gayman4u2c: Does this mean you can get a good deal on a Sony 45" flat screen TV for our love nest?
[22:16] jimmy_peters1: phone ,laptop,
[22:17] jimmy_peters1: dvd, tv
[22:17] gayman4u2c: Yeah? What brands?
[22:17] jimmy_peters1: and meny more
[22:18] gayman4u2c: Brand names, Mary. I don't want some off brand in our love nest.
[22:18] gayman4u2c: I want top of the line for us.
[22:18] jimmy_peters1: okay
[22:18] jimmy_peters1: did you need any one of it
[22:19] gayman4u2c: Of course I do! I just told you, I want the huge Sony for us!
[22:19] gayman4u2c: So we can watch gay porn on a screen so big, it's like they're really in the room with us!
[22:19] jimmy_peters1: okay
[22:21] jimmy_peters1: ding
[22:22] gayman4u2c: Don't you be dinging at me unless you plan on sucking it.
[22:22] gayman4u2c: Now, what brands of electronics do you sell?
[22:22] jimmy_peters1: i have SONYY
[22:23] jimmy_peters1: HP
[22:23] jimmy_peters1: SAMSONG
[22:23] gayman4u2c: Sony or Sonyy? I know those off brands LOOOOVE to use similar names.
[22:23] jimmy_peters1: SONY
[22:24] gayman4u2c: OK, tiger. Don't get all pissy with me.
[22:24] jimmy_peters1: how many did you nned
[22:25] jimmy_peters1: how meny did you need
[22:25] gayman4u2c: Well, we need a big screen TV, at least 45 inches, but I'm thinking 60 inches for the living room/den of iniquity.
[22:25] gayman4u2c: We could probably use a smaller one for the bedroom too.
[22:25] gayman4u2c: But only if you like gay porn. Do you like gay porn too?
[22:25] gayman4u2c: I hope you're a bottom.
[22:26] jimmy_peters1: okay
[22:26] gayman4u2c: So you like gay porn?
[22:26] jimmy_peters1: then how are you going to get it now from here
[22:26] gayman4u2c: I like the classics. Like Jeffrey Stryker.
[22:26] jimmy_peters1: yeah
[22:26] jimmy_peters1: u
[22:27] gayman4u2c: You mean, you can't send it to me?
[22:27] jimmy_peters1: yeah
[22:27] jimmy_peters1: are you with cam there
[22:28] gayman4u2c: This is our first date. It's too early for us to have cam sex.
[22:28] jimmy_peters1: okay
[22:28] gayman4u2c: How big is your dick?
[22:29] jimmy_peters1: was okay
[22:29] jimmy_peters1: so big
[22:29] gayman4u2c: How big is so big? Hung like an angry squirrel or hung like King Kong?
[22:30] jimmy_peters1: hung like King Kong
[22:31] gayman4u2c: ooooh...... I'll have to use both hands when I give you the reach around!
[22:31] jimmy_peters1: realy
[22:32] gayman4u2c: Oh yeah, baby. Think I can get my mouth over it to suck it, before I fuck your ass with my nice, thick, long dick?
[22:33] jimmy_peters1: i think's was so nice
[22:33] gayman4u2c: Are you cut or uncut?
[22:33] jimmy_peters1: as how
[22:34] gayman4u2c: Circumcised or not? Your King Kong of a dong!
[22:34] jimmy_peters1: okay
[22:35] jimmy_peters1: Circumcized
[22:35] gayman4u2c: Oh good. I hate smegma dicks and I won't suck them.
[22:35] jimmy_peters1: really
[22:35] gayman4u2c: Yes. Foreskins are useless.
[22:36] jimmy_peters1: plz i will be back in nest 2minute
[22:36] jimmy_peters1: okay
[22:36] gayman4u2c: OK, lover.
[22:36] jimmy_peters1: nice
[22:43] jimmy_peters1: ding
[22:43] jimmy_peters1: am back
[22:44] gayman4u2c: Hi
[22:44] jimmy_peters1: okay
[22:45] gayman4u2c: Where were we?
[22:45] gayman4u2c: Oh yeah... I was about to spread your sweet cheeks and drive my cock into your ass.
[22:45] gayman4u2c: On our wedding night, of course.
[22:46] jimmy_peters1: oh ohh
[22:46] jimmy_peters1: i know that
[22:46] gayman4u2c: Good. I hope you're a virgin. Are you?
[22:47] jimmy_peters1: yeah
[22:47] gayman4u2c: Really? Just your ass? Because your AdultFriendFinder profile says you're divorced.
[22:47] gayman4u2c: I think it's great you're coming out and giving up women.
[22:48] jimmy_peters1: very great
[22:49] gayman4u2c: Wave that rainbow flag high!
[22:49] gayman4u2c: So, where are you from originally?
[22:50] gayman4u2c: ding
[22:53] jimmy_peters1: african nigeria
[22:53] gayman4u2c: I thought you had left me, lover.
[22:53] gayman4u2c: For a woman or something.
[22:54] jimmy_peters1: am with u
[22:55] gayman4u2c: Only me? You're taking so long between responses.
[22:55] jimmy_peters1: did you like it like that
[22:55] jimmy_peters1: i think was nice
[22:56] jimmy_peters1: plz let me know how you feel about
[22:57] gayman4u2c: Like what?
[22:57] jimmy_peters1: orie yi sha
[22:57] jimmy_peters1: baba e
[22:58] gayman4u2c: I know about the Orishas
[22:58] jimmy_peters1: abey
[22:59] jimmy_peters1: how did u know that
[22:59] gayman4u2c: One of my old boyfriends is a Santero.
[22:59] jimmy_peters1: okay
[23:00] gayman4u2c: We still talk. So you had better be up front with me.
[23:00] jimmy_peters1: is the told you about
[23:00] gayman4u2c: No. A woman you wrote to told me about you. She saw you were gay and a hot, black man and she knew you were right up my alley.
[23:00] gayman4u2c: And that I'd be fucking your ass in no time.
[23:01] jimmy_peters1: poyoyo
[23:02] jimmy_peters1: oobi
[23:02] gayman4u2c: I don't speak the language, my hershey highway baby.
[23:03] jimmy_peters1: plz what did you whant from me
[23:04] gayman4u2c: I want to make you mine.
[23:04] gayman4u2c: I want to marry you.
[23:04] jimmy_peters1: u are a man, am also a man
[23:04] gayman4u2c: We can do that in Massachusetts. And your profile DID say you were a GAY MAN.
[23:05] jimmy_peters1: so you like to fuck a man like you
[23:06] gayman4u2c: Are you kidding? I love it!
[23:06] gayman4u2c: I love to suck dick too. I can't wait to get my mouth on yours.
[23:06] jimmy_peters1: okay
[23:07] jimmy_peters1: plz can you come to my country
[23:07] gayman4u2c: Are you going to buy me a ticket?
[23:07] gayman4u2c: I work as a waiter, Fabio. I can't afford a plane ticket.
[23:08] jimmy_peters1: okay
[23:08] gayman4u2c: Yeah?
[23:08] gayman4u2c: You're going to buy me a plane ticket?
[23:08] gayman4u2c: I wonder if I can get a passport.
[23:09] jimmy_peters1: but like how mush with you
[23:09] gayman4u2c: How much what?
[23:09] gayman4u2c: I am a Queen, I should fly first class. Not steerage.
[23:09] jimmy_peters1: okay
[23:10] jimmy_peters1: i will call my agent to know how mush are going to spend okay
[23:11] jimmy_peters1: ding
[23:11] gayman4u2c: Well, from JFK to wherever you are, baby doll.
[23:11] gayman4u2c: ding
[23:11] gayman4u2c: right back at ya
[23:11] jimmy_peters1: o
[23:11] gayman4u2c: ?
[23:13] gayman4u2c: Where did you go, lover?
[23:13] jimmy_peters1: am here with you
[23:13] gayman4u2c: You're not very chatty, Cathy.
[23:13] gayman4u2c: I'm starting to think you don't love me.
[23:13] jimmy_peters1: i love u honey
[23:14] gayman4u2c: awwwww...... My cock just jumped in my pants!
[23:14] jimmy_peters1: also like how mush with u as at now
[23:14] gayman4u2c: awwwww....... You're going to make me cream my jeans!
[23:17] gayman4u2c: ding
[23:17] gayman4u2c: ding
[23:17] jimmy_peters1: ding
[23:17] jimmy_peters1: also like how mush with u as at now
[23:17] gayman4u2c: You're talking to other men. I can feel it.
[23:22] gayman4u2c: Mary?
[23:22] gayman4u2c: Where did you go?
[23:24] gayman4u2c: You don't love me!
[23:25] gayman4u2c: You liar!
[23:25] gayman4u2c: You scammer!
[23:25] gayman4u2c: I knew you were a scammer the instant I heard Nigeria. Now you're just proving it!
Session Close (jimmy_peters1): Mon Jun 19 23:25:19 2006

I know. I have too much time on my hands. But it was fun. I was dying to pursue the bit about the plane ticket, so I could tell him Bruce was on the No-Fly list. I so confused the poor guy. But I have a feeling that someone told him what a bottom is when it comes to gay sex. In his own language.

It sort of bothered me when he slipped into his own language. He's obviously Yoruba and Lagos, where most of the scammers are from, is right by the states of Oyo, Ogun and Osun. Names of three of the Orishas. Which is why I told him an ex was a Santero. To scare him. Just in case he was trying to curse me or something.

I was disappointed that he stopped talking. I wanted to see how long I could keep him going. He seems to be a bit of an amateur scammer, he admitted he was a native of Nigeria. They never do that. Then again, these scammers are mostly teenagers who are being paid to sit in Internet cafes all day and have as many conversations going as possible. To scam the unsuspecting out of their hard earned money. A boss does keep watch over them, too.

Now, all those dings... The site made me remove the brackets from around them. But they love to ding you if you're not talking fast enough. But if you do it to them...
Poor Bruce. I just know he was thrown over for an unsuspecting woman.

(What the fuck is this shit..?? *rolls eyes*)

6/20/2006 4:55 am

WHOA how did you learn so much about this shit..??.. Ready

"It sort of bothered me when he slipped into his own language. He's obviously Yoruba and Lagos, where most of the scammers are from, is right by the states of Oyo, Ogun and Osun. Names of three of the Orishas. Which is why I told him an ex was a Santero. To scare him. Just in case he was trying to curse me or something."

Girl I am fucking impressed..DAMN YOUR GOOD


MissAnnThrope replies on 6/20/2006 5:42 pm:
I knew I was going to post the IM conversation here as soon as I saw his letter. I wanted to use a map of Nigeria as the picture for the post. As soon as I saw one that listed the states, I clicked it. I have a friend who's a Santera. From her, I have learned all about the Orishas. Not to mention, visit any occult supply shop in person or on the web that carries Santeria supplies and you will see the Orisha candles and beads all over the place. So when I saw Ogun, Oyo and Osun, (also spelled Oshun,) I looked up Nigeria and saw a large number of the native population are Yoruba. Especially in his part of the country. Yoruba is a word you see a lot in association with Santeria.

The trick to a good scam is to know your victim. I set out to scam the scammer. So I did a tiny bit of research on that region first.

As as aside, did you know when you go to a Pagan shop to get a candle dressed and no matter what their tradition, even in Wicca shops, when they have you taste the honey that goes into the glass on the bottom, that is an offering to the Yoruba Goddess Osun? It is said in some legends that she was poisoned with honey and to taste it means you are willing to die for your request.

shylena256 42F
1967 posts
6/20/2006 7:30 am

I tried him but he didnt answer.
Methinks you wore him out, you old top, you!
Wunnerfull stuff, you can be my leatherbear any time.

MissAnnThrope replies on 6/20/2006 5:44 pm:
Thanks! I've gone looking for him, but it keeps saying his IMs are off. He'll be back though. Especially if I look like an easy mark to want to make money fast.

TheRealThing655 48F
9558 posts
6/20/2006 8:15 am

You are just too funny. More, I want more!!! What a way to start my morning, thanks.

MissAnnThrope replies on 6/20/2006 5:43 pm:
Thanks. But Jimmy seems to be hiding from Bruce. *sigh* Bruce's passion is just too much for some to bear.

header1979 37M
507 posts
6/20/2006 10:08 am

LMAO!! You are brilliant. How do you know all that Africa stuff? since nearly all the taxi drivers are from Nigeria, I guess if someone rode in taxis enough, they could learn alot of this. lol

Before the no call list was started, I would pull shit like that on telemarketers. Their script doesn't prepare those guys for a guy to be hitting on them hot and heavy. lol

Good post. Glad you have the time to do this. lol


MissAnnThrope replies on 6/20/2006 5:50 pm:
I've always loved studying maps. So when I found a map of Nigeria last night with all the states listed, I recognised the Orisha names right off the bat. Then my friend, the Santera has taught me much.

Part of it goes with being Pagan, we tend to learn alot about non-mainstream religions, even those not our own. Part of it has to do with finding that map and then, checking out the region. The CIA World Factbook and Wikipedia are also wonderful tools for learning about other countries.

I used to love the calls from the newspapers. They never wanted to take no for an answer. So finally, I got to the point where I listened to their spiel and then said, "Great! Sign me up for the braille edition!" One by one, they stopped calling.

nightstalker172 36M
1258 posts
6/20/2006 10:25 am

"IM SUPER, THANKS FOR ASKING" Gee I wonder where you got that one now you have that song stuck in my head I havent laughed that hard in awhile thanks for the entertainment

MissAnnThrope replies on 6/20/2006 5:52 pm:
Yeah, I wonder... I'm amazed no one else has mentioned that. Hey, the song stuck in my head too. It's still there.

And thanks. If nothing else, when I'm playing a part, I do go for the entertainment value.

HBowt2 58F

6/20/2006 2:28 pm

he seems to have gotten a lot more than he bargained for.....

MissAnnThrope replies on 6/20/2006 5:54 pm:
Yep. When I told a friend who was online what I was doing, her only response was, "The poor scammer."

real36CgirlPA 37F

6/20/2006 4:06 pm

It's kind of strange that the handle you picked wasn't in use already...considering some of the ones that are.

MissAnnThrope replies on 6/20/2006 6:00 pm:
Ah, but I've had it a while. It was originally to tease someone who has left the site, blkforu2c. He was whining one night about how no one IMed him. So gayman4u2c was born. But I rarely let Bruce out of the closet these days. In general, he only comes out if some obnoxious guy in chat is screaming he wants his dick sucked now and posts his IMs and is flooding. Heh.

cuteNEway 41F

6/20/2006 4:17 pm

Isn't fun to confuse the confused?

tee hee

MissAnnThrope replies on 6/20/2006 6:01 pm:
Yep. They really do have to start hiring people to work the computers who have a better command of the English language.

SleekIcilyVarix 41M

6/20/2006 4:41 pm

lol...that was fun to read. I should write up a stellar review for you in Online Performance Artist Magazine
I almost pity the fool. You bent him right over!


MissAnnThrope replies on 6/20/2006 6:02 pm:
Oh, if only there was such a magazine! I could be a star!

NickRules999 39M
9462 posts
6/20/2006 5:01 pm

LOL I love it!! It's like the prank calls I occasionally do. LOL

Come into my realm! You aren't afraid...are you?

MissAnnThrope replies on 6/20/2006 6:02 pm:
Thanks. At one point, I did think of your prank calls as I was trying to scam him.

papyrina 51F
21133 posts
6/21/2006 3:59 pm

your bad

I'm a

i'm here to stay

MissAnnThrope replies on 6/22/2006 3:57 am:
I know. I wouldn't have me any other way.

Transblucency 44M

6/21/2006 6:11 pm

*grin* I'm amused that he gave up. Did you ever hear the 419 song, by the way? It was a big hit in Nigeria. It's actually quite catchy.

MissAnnThrope replies on 6/22/2006 4:06 am:
I know! Normally, they'll milk it into the ground if they think they can scam someone. However, I've been told that it's surprising that he talked to me as long as he did, as they all claim to be so Christian in their beliefs. But to actually have a scammer stop talking to me, I consider that a badge of honor.

I've never heard the song. I tried to find it and all I could find in it was, it was by Nkem Owoh, a leading comedic actor in Nigeria and it was the title track from some movie of his, where he was playing a scam artist. I still can't find the song, though.

flagg134 36M
1582 posts
6/22/2006 2:17 pm

That was awesome I can't imagine what you do to the telemarketers who call your house. Great material.


MissAnnThrope replies on 6/23/2006 11:33 am:
I'm on the DNC registry. Of course, there are loopholes. But I used to ask newspapers to sign me up for the braille edition, as asking them not to call back never worked.

Transblucency 44M

6/22/2006 6:25 pm

I found a copy on teh intarwebs. I will track it down for you and let you know what the google keywords were.

Transblucency 44M

6/22/2006 6:34 pm

OK, success. But it's a slow download, 16 MB to the tune of about 6 KB/s, so you'll have time for a nice cup of tea with the psychic fern.

The mighty Google came through on the first hit for "I go chop your dollar" and antville

MissAnnThrope replies on 6/23/2006 11:35 am:
Thanks. I found a streaming video, that didn't take forever to download. It was interesting. I'd be interested in seeing the movie it was made for, but I can't even find information on that.

Shelly_Marie 43F

7/2/2006 8:30 pm

I have a friend that was having a conversation in IM with a scammer not long ago too...I told her to report it to the FBI's website for internet fraud.

MissAnnThrope replies on 7/4/2006 4:01 am:
They have a seperate site set up now, dedicated to nothing but Internet scams. The scammers are starting to get desperate, as so many Americans are starting to wise up. Add in the fact that you now have people who have been scammed actually out for revenge, by baiting scammers, to make sure they spend all their time for naught, instead of a live victim. Add in the people like me who just like to play with idiots...

Most of them are teenagers sitting in cafes, with some boss lording over them. The kids are desperate, as they can make up to $500 a month doing this, which is five times the average income in Lagos and to make the money and not get in trouble with their evil overlords, they have to make the scam work.

Then there are the Russian bride scams, which I really do think is the deal with our fake bloggers.

Artimus4U 54F

10/2/2007 5:57 pm

Dying over here, I cant even read it its sooo silly.

Thanks for the giggle!

- Arti

Bard of Norcal

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