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Christians and Conservatives need not apply
Christians and Conservatives need not apply
Please select one answer, please be honest.
And for those that didn't read the title, Are you christian and/or conservative? Yes/No
Do you want/have children? Yes/No
Do you routinely watch hours of television programming including sit-coms, soap-operas, televised sports, or reality television? Yes/No
Do you have a Y chromosome? Yes/No
If you answered yes to any of the previous questions, thank you but I won't be requiring you to send me your survey.
Are you between the ages of 21 and 36? Yes/No
Are you 5'9'' or shorter? Yes/No
Note: This next question is not simply me being shallow. Anyone can be beautiful in the right context, if you can't see beauty in yourself I don't want to be responsible for showing it to you.
Do you avoid looking in the mirror as it may have a negative impact on your self-esteem? Yes/No
Note: This next question is asking more than "can you." It's asking "do you" and do you enjoy it.
Do you read/write? Yes/No
Do you feel that achohol or other drugs are a necessary medicinal compliment to your chemistry? Yes/No
Do you like physical activity/the outdoors?
Martial Arts Yes/no
If yes to sports, list here
Do you listen to three or more of the following musical artists? Please underline the ones that apply.
Alice in Chains, Soundgarden, Stone Temple Pilots, Blind Melon, Korn, Seven Mary Three, Modest Mouse, Guns n Roses, Pink Floyd, Jethro Tull, Ween, A Perfect Circle, Patti Rothberg, Fiona Apple, Veruca Salt, Poe, Nine Inch Nails, The Toadies, Floater, The Offspring, Van Halen, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Tool, Tom Petty, Queensryche, Pearl Jam.
If not, why the hell not? And, you should.
Here is where the questions get a little more complex.
What is the solution to Pi?
I'm hoping someone will actually answer that. Serious bonus if you can, no points lost if you can't. If you need to attach a few hundred sheets of paper to the survey to fit your answer onto that's fine.
What is your quest?
What is your favorite Color?
What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
Why are there interstates in Hawaii?
What is the single coolest character that Val Kilmer ever played? And in what movie?
Why is it called cargo on a ship and a shipment by truck?
Who is your favorite fictional character of all time.
If you could choose a period of time to be born in, other than this one, when would it be and why.
Which of these movies' lead female characters appeals to you, or fits you the most.
Ever After, Miss Congeniality, The Princess Bride, Thelma and Louise
Do you pronounce it supposably? or supposedly?
What do you want to be when you grow up? Why? Feel free to be creative
If you had a perfume named in your honor what would it be called?
What's your theme song?
Would you agree that inanimate objects need to be scolded sometimes?
Do you have moments where you feel as though your appliances are just waiting for you to make one small slip so that they can take over the household...why or why not.
In the event of a water landing can you be used as a flotation device? Yes/No J/K...sort of
Do you feel that sleep is...
Please select all that apply
a) A fun/safe way to spend a weekend.
b) Something you do at work when no one is looking.
c) A complete waste of time that can be better spent mocking infomercials at 3 am.
d) Yet another way without LSD to visit wonderland.
e) A lengthy and arduous process that requires lots of drugs.
f) A luxury only rich people have time for.
g) Something best done naked in a pool filled with warm jello.
h) A spontaneous occurance that happens whenever you hear Rush Limbaughs voice.
i) All of the above.
Who's your favorite author? And what book of theirs is the best?
What is in it for you if you finish this stupid survey?
What is the first thing you usually look for in someone when you meet them.
Do you agree that some people are like a slinky? Not really good for anything but you can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs? Yes/No
How long have you kept in touch with the "oldest" friend you have?
Did your parents ever have suspicious dealings with shovels in the backyard or threaten to let the aliens take YOU next time? Yes/No
Do you have a habit of torturing yourself with surveys? Or is this a first time for everything sort of event?
This is the reverse Rorschacht Test portion of The Survey.
Please create an abstract design so that I can devise from it some glimpse into your psyche.
Or not, your choice.
Thank you for taking my survey, especially if you actually made it this far.
If after doing this you are interested in showing me the results, feel free to comment with results.