Am i lonely, or just alone?  

Mikey_B1972 44M
134 posts
12/3/2005 8:06 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Am i lonely, or just alone?

As i go to a friends house tonight for a house warming party, i notice as i pull up that i do not know ANYONE. He is an aquaintance more than a friend i should say, but we have respect for each other. I walked in holding his presents in one arm and the tequila i bought in the other. As i walk in, i felt as if the music just stopped and everyone started staring. I just went along with my business dropping the presents on the table and making my way to the kitchen, which is where 90% of the party was at, doing shots. I knew noone..For the first time in quite a long time, i felt alone. I am normally the center of the crowd at the club, but tonight i was in a strange territory. I did not like all. So i started to mingle and just get into everyones business. Three hours into the party, i was at the coffee table in order with approx 20 others to play some game called genga or something.It was a stack of wooden blocks you have to pull out and not knock over the tower. As my luck would go, i pull a block and it says "kiss the person 3 spaces to your left"..It was a guy..luckily he was cool and i made the best of a bad situation. I jumped at him and stradled him. I put my hands at the side of my mouth and started kissing him on the cheek. Needless to say , that was all it took to loosen everyone up with me. But i started to realize something, i am the only person at the party without a date/girlfriend. ***I threw my live in girlfriend out about a year ago and have not hooked up since. I have NO time for drama in my life. The chics were all being cool to me but it was a situation where i felt where i was around my sister instead of hot chics. I left the part early because my mind was playing tricks on me. I was feeling very distant and alone at times and others just alone..What is this? Have i been alone sooo long that i am missing the passion and companionship of a female? or it just a case of the blues? Is there a difference?

docdirk 47M

12/3/2005 9:56 pm

I like how you phrase the question. I live alone, and I can say in all honesty; I love it. The peace and quiet, the ability to watch TV, play mucic, read, sing, play guitar, take a nap, eat what and when I want - all without checking with or making room for someone else is a Godsend. At least for me.

One of my best friends is a classic "Type A" personality. He is married, and he and his wife are constantly going places, hanging out with people, or gathering a group at their house. Whenever he calls, he asks how I'm doing. When I tell him I'm good, he always questions me, as if to ask "how can you be good, you're alone." There are as many types of people as there are people.

If you're happy and comfortable, the worst thing you can do is change things to conform to the expectations of others. If being alone bothers you, go forth and seek companionship. If you're OK with it for now, let it be. You'll know when a chnage is needed - and it won't come from the disapproving or sorrowful eyes of another.

Ah, Its you again, Your Angel Feathers and your Blood Stains...

tackman57 59M  
182 posts
12/28/2005 9:18 pm

I know what you're going through, Mikey. I've lived alone for quite some time now & there are times that I wonder if I've been alone too long for my own good. There is a BIG difference in "being alone" & "being lonely". To me, "being alone" is being by yourself at home, in the car, etc. & doing the things you do or just relaxing & enjoying the solitude. You might even "get lonely" in the more usual sense & call a friend or family member & talk or arrange to meet, whatever, to take care of that "lonely" feeling. THEN...there is "being lonely". To me, "being lonely" has nothing to do with "being alone." You can "be lonely" by yourself OR in a crowd of people (which is the worst feeling in the world). This kind of "lonely" is a sign that something is not quite right with your world. For me, it was a sign that I was depressed & needed some assistance. It's a hard thing for people to understand...this "being alone" & "being lonely". And it's even more difficult to put into words. But just be mindful of how you feel, not with the kind of stangers you described, but when with a group of friends. If you're sensative to your REAL feelings, you'll notice whether or not your "loneliness" is just needed your friends or something more serious. If you have any concerns, please talk to someone with somekind of background in depression before it gets to firm a grasp on you.

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