Caffiene buzz....  

MidnightAngel325 34F
22 posts
8/23/2005 1:55 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Caffiene buzz....

So I had too much caffiene... I was tired, and I needed to stay awake for the whole work yea...too much caffiene. I can't type as fast as I think, so if there are holes in my thoughts, I'm sorry... too much caffiene is fun. Next best thing to being drunk...

So I was talking to a guy on the phone and it got a little weird for me. I'd been chatting with him ym and decided to try talking to him on the phone. And for some reason I freaked out, the whole details I'm not going to reveal. But I did freak out and I hung up the phone and shut it off. And I know it was really rude of me and I have since apologized to him. I think it was the fact that he is older than I am and something I thought I liked but I don't. So I think I need someone around my own age. And that is no offense to you more life expierenced gentlemen out there! I just think I would feel more comfortable with someone closer to my own age. But I do think someone slightly older than me or the same age. Is that stupid? I've dated younger guys in the past and gotten burned, so I have a rule in my head to stay away from the younger guys. I just don't know... Sometimes I think that I'm too closed minded for my own good and others I think that it may just be the way I am built. I'm only 23 and I guess I still think that most younger guys are too immature. I know, it's a stereotype. But am I really wrong?

And I've definately figured out, I'm not ready to move past chatting with someone online right now. I enjoy being here, and I enjoy the freedom to talk about anything, so I do not feel like a tease because I am flat out saying that for now, all I want is an online buddy to chat with and maybe some online playing. Beyond that, I think I'm too much of a romantic at heart. And honestly, I don't think it's all bad.

I'm still recovering from a bad relationship and I like me. (6 months ago, I didn't) But I like me for who I am, for what I think, and that is okay. Isn't being okay with yourself the first step to a healthy life? Is it bad that I just want to keep this online right now? Opinions, comments and thoughts are welcome.

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