Condoms: can we depend on them?  

Hands4Healing 66M  
10 posts
9/10/2005 10:39 pm

Last Read:
7/5/2010 11:33 pm

Condoms: can we depend on them?

Condoms are essential when we are having sex with multiple people. But how safe are they? Condoms are not a sure thing. I teach about this subject, but I don't even call condom use "safe sex," only "safer sex." 10% of highly fertile women using condoms as their only contraceptive method for a year become pregnant, and many people have developed sexually transmitted infections in spite of using condoms, because they do not use them in a way that provides a barrier to all sexual secretions. And condoms are not very effective against herpes or HPV, because they don't shield all the surfaces that can be infected with the viruses from all the surfaces that can absorb them. Making a hole in a square of plastic wrap and inserting the condom-clad penis through it can greatly increase the protected area, and may be worth considering if one of the partners has had herpes, for example. If you have questions or recommendations about optimal condom use, or have a story to tell about breakage, leakage, or ignorance, or have had a close call, this is the place to talk about it.

rm_cutestbabe 43F
1 post
5/21/2006 9:12 pm

I'm curious how you yourself, being a doctor, stay safe. I mean we really never know, do we? Even having sexual contact after negative test results can void out these results. I'm interested in the plastic wrap suggestion. Any suggestion on safe sex between women?

Hands4Healing 66M  
9 posts
7/3/2010 9:46 pm

Here are some sexual practices that many of us have done, which increase the chance of condom slippage:

1) If the woman applies her "Kegel" muscles to tighten up during partial withdrawals, then relaxes the muscles during the insertion strokes, little by little, the condom will be pulled off the shaft, eventually ending up stuck in the vagina. The guy may cum thinking it's still on. Sometimes it's possible for the guy to feel a difference as this gradually happens. If it's occurred with a particular woman, she should be advised not to do this, or to squeeze down only during insertions, and the guy should every minute or so feel to be sure he can still detect the rim of the condom.

2) It's helpful for preventing HPV or herpes to wear a condom even when the cock is rubbing the pussy on the outside (frottage, "outercourse," dry humping, etc.). But the friction of a condom against a drier area like the outside of the labia or the pubic bone is more likely to pull the condom off without anyone noticing. The guy should feel to make sure the condom is still on before inserting after this type of foreplay.

3) If the guy slows down or stops pumping, for example to let the woman enjoy an orgasm, the erection may partially subside, and when stroking resumes, the condom may slip off. Again, the thing to do is to reach down and be sure the condom rim can still be felt, and unless the erection instatly gets hard again, to hold onto the rim while pulling out, then to stroke the penis till it gets hard again and reinsert.

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