How To Cope With A Disfiguring Sunburn  

Mccartney2003 38M
479 posts
7/15/2005 11:41 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

How To Cope With A Disfiguring Sunburn

Cover the burned area with aloe vera gel. This will make you smell so odd that no one will come close enough to touch you.

To make the Universally Recognized Sunburned Warning Noise, grit your teeth, pull back your lips, press your tongue against the back of your incisors and inhale briskly.

After receiving a second- or third-degree burn, wait at least 30 minutes before moshing.

If your girlfriend is insufficiently sympathetic, be sure to mention how much it hurts after each and every movement.

When showering, remember to scream from the diaphragm.

If arms and legs are burned, walk like a robot from a 1950's science-fiction movie. This will in no way reduce the discomfort, but at least you will look like an idiot.

When the eleventh coworker enters your office and says "Hey, did you know you got sunburned?," we recommend either garroting or defenestration.

If your future is so bright that you gotta wear shades, try neglecting your homework, enraging your parents, and alienating your beautiful girlfriend. This will dim your future and prevent exacerbation of the burn.

Avoid movies starring Adam Sandler. Forever.

While sunburnt, always carry and drink from a fifth of scotch. People will think you are flush from drunkenness, and not realize that you are too stupid to put on sunblock.

rm_kawboy78 38M
3 posts
7/16/2005 12:57 am

This hit a little too close to home. I got a little scorched over the weekend.

Given: I was an idiot and didn't put on sunblock (until day 2, but it was already too late).

Somehow, having a sunburn gives you an uncanny ability to see deep into the stupidity of others. After hearing seemingly intelligent co-workers say the most idiotic things like "get a little sun did ya?" or "spend too much time outside, huh?" or "forget to put sunscreen on?" I wanted to take 11 steps off an 11 step pier. If it was possible I would have swallowed my own head to make it less obvious that I was sun burnt. I began replying to their idiotic questions with even more idiotic answers, such as "No, I didn't forget to put on sunsreen. I spent the weekend on the surface of the sun and SPF 15 just didn't cut it" or "This is just a rash. I guess going down on all those Tijuana hookers is finally catching up with me." You think that stupid answers would make sense to stupid people, but it seems that isn't the way it works.

playfulwithyou33 56F
961 posts
7/16/2005 1:20 am

(hands him the apple cider vinegar to dab on)

wyvernrose 38F
3895 posts
7/16/2005 2:06 am

lol, I didn't need the shades, 6 years ago I got stuck in direct sun for 8 hours straight,I couldn't even open my eyes. I lost a great deal of skin off my face which copped the worse of it, for the next 3 years I couldn't go out in the sun without blistering within 5 minutes.

Aloe is great for burns but after the pain is gone and the healing begins there was a cream containing something called plantolin which worked wonders....

but the I got copper sulphate poisoning that same week anyway which just made it worse, luckily there was no scarring


sweetcoconutmilk 42F

7/16/2005 3:54 am

i just burned my butt last week...these are great tips. but laughing does not help you cope with sunburn. (shucks!)

rm_Elysia2005 43F
412 posts
7/18/2005 6:50 pm

Best thing for a sunburn is diaper rash cream... not sure if I can say brand names here, so it starts with "D" and ends with "esitin"... That one's the best. Slather a thick coating of it over the burn... put on a soft T-shirt and soft drawstring sweats/pants... overnight, the burn will virtually disappear.

Take it from Little Miss Electric White, here. It works.

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