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Lame Ass County Fair!
Lame Ass County Fair!
OK, went to the 52nd Annual Cecil County fair tonight, what a waste. My ex-wife had a pampered Chef booth there and asked me if I wanted to go 'cause she has an extra pass. Like an idiot I decided to ride with her so I had to stay till the end and couldn't bail out early. In 20 minutes I saw all the exhibits, talked to all the cows and goats (they're really good listeners if ya just give 'em a chance) and had my oblligatory funnel cake, but didn't see any deep fried twinkies, damnit...Oh yea, talked to the Libertarian booth worker for a while, kept him company in a rural Republican county. Talked about gun control and affordable health care and war on drugs and yada yada yada.
But here's where the busted out lame ass comes into play...THese folks had a dunk tank, ya know where ya get three balls and try to knock some schlub into a tank of water?...
Well, solme dude comes up, nails the target and the lady in the tank doesn't fall, he nails it again, no falling...So the dude operating the booth went over to push the buttin to dunk her in. No good. Then he fiddles with the latch to knock her in...Not happenin'...Finally he gives her a look and she returns the look with an "oh alright" kinda look and scoots off the seat and drops herself into the tank...And I'm standing there thinking..",,,,wow, that was really exciting, kinda takes the thrill out of the whole thing."
Oh, here's the funny part. At this time I'm hating the fact that I'm stuck in this carnival of human tragedy. I walk over to this area where there's a stunt woman, Galaxy Girl, climbing some million foot high tower to do some trapeeze tricks for all the fine people of Cecil Co...great...She has a wirless mic on so she can talk to the crowd from outer space. SHe asks.."ya wanna see me go higher?"...The crowd is so half-ass into it. I just say, in a dead-pan voice.."..uh...yea?"..some people look at me with a snicker...I guess that's my cue to say even dumber shit. She asks again "ya want me to go higher?"..."...yea, sure, why not?"...still some snickers. Then her partner on the ground, Mr. galaxy man or something stupid like that says "Now folks, Galaxy Girl is going to do some trapeeze tricks that no one in the state of Maryland has ever done at this height!!""...Yea, great, I'm so enthralled....So what do I do? I shout "Don't do it Galaxy Girl!! It's not worth it!!...Come down, I love you!!!" Well I think I yelled it too loud 'cause she heard me and said from outer space "Aw thank you sugar, I'll be down soon."...Oops, but the crowd had a few little hee hee's and my work was done...Off to see the rodeo...Damn, I hate county fairs.