Any Legal Advice For Me?  

Masseur_0 41M
172 posts
8/6/2005 12:36 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Any Legal Advice For Me?

Here's something twisted. My wife and I separated in 3/05 (actually we were mentally separated for a year before that...) We got in a usual fight a few weeks prior and I said I thought we should separate. Physically separate, like me move out for a while and see if we can get along after some time away. We live a very close quarters life and it drives me nuts. Anyway, she doesn't believe in separation. Her view is we're married forever or for never. Stay in this or get out completely. She's always good for ultimatums (that's not a fair comment though...strike that one). But we were both poor as hell so I couldn't physically move out, awkward, yes. But I had been living in a separate bedroom for the past 3 months prior. And in the room I had been keeping a diary of my thoughts, rantings and true feelings...ya know, a diary. All the shit that I just couldn't;t say to her because our arguments are so fucked up anyway I never get to say what I truly feel...But as time goes by we start to get on friendlier terms and make amends a little. With the mental distance we've been able to recuperate a bit and are getting along a bit better...

Then one day she ask me "I know you want to move out and you don't want this anymore, so when can you be out?"...Just out of the blue. Uh...Idunno, trying to save cash to find a place, why?...Well, she just seems to have had enough and wants to end everything (I'm internally rejoicing )...But it seems all to sudden and not like her...later that night I go to write about it in my diary guessed it...Diary's gone! I know I didn't;t misplace it, it's gone. I ask her if she's seen my black notebook..."nope"...Yea, right. Next day her mom comes to pick up our daughter for the weekend. This can't be good, daughter leaving house on weekend on short notice means wife's about to explode on me. She tells me not only does she have my diary but her best friend is keeping it and I will never get it back. She has shown it to all her friends, family, church friends and even co-workers who she hardly knows. She's taken it to her PTA meetings, slapped it on the coffee table and said "have a look at what an asshole my husband is."
She tells me that she can get anything she wants now because all she has to do is get a lawyer and I'll have nothing when she's finished with me.

I was so flabbergasted, guilty feeling and just stunned. Sure I said a lot of negative things about her, wondering if I ever should have married her and if I ever really loved her enough to marry her. Wrote things like she's way too high maintenance for me, too demanding of me, over controlling and a perfectionist who expects the same from me. Pretty much she's fucked up and I gotta get out of the relationship before it's too late for both of us. Now, mind you, when I said I wanted to separate she didn;t disagree, she didn't cry, she just seemed relieved that it wasn't her who had to make the call and look like the bad guy....

So now she has my diary and her friend is making copies.

Would this hold any water in court if we actually went to court? Is she just talking shit and trying to manipulate me into giving up all my shit? I think she's full of shit. She has the kind of dominant personality that will just get in your face and convince you that it's day when it's night. I;m not worried about the diary really, as things have cooled off and we're both agreed that we'll just fill out court forms and get a divorce without even a lawyer..nothing to fight over or property to divide or anything....

But it's my fucking diary...I want it back. I told her before to keep it because I thought it had no value to anyone but her...But now I want to get it back so I can post it online in a different blog site. I think that would really piss her off. But hey, she gave it to all her friends and family and everyone I know. Now I don't have a friend within 600 miles. I got no friends or family in this state and everyone I once knew hates me now because she talked shit about how much of an asshole I was and they all got to read my true feelings. I'm not worried about the feelings getting out, it's just a bullshit way of getting them out....

So anyway, how's your day going?

Sorry for the length, if anyone has actually read all the way through this I commend you...What do you think?

Di47Him51 63M/59F
42 posts
8/6/2005 12:57 pm

DAMN! Have you had a time of it! Not sure if the diary would be allowed in court. I would suggest, just go your seperate ways, begin your life anew and count you blessings - meaning your daughter. Keep her out of the fighting, maintain a relationship meaning parent her. She needs to be the priority.

misbhavinsatx 56F

8/6/2005 1:10 pm

I think your Wife is full of BULL SHIT and that you might want to check into her real going on's. Look for her diary, most woman write down their thoughts and feelings somewhere. You know her better then we do.Is she's the kind to write things down? Invaid her privacy, just as she did yours.What goes around comes around. And do get out while you can because things will not get any better only worst.~~JAN~~

xx_44DD_xx 51F

8/6/2005 1:25 pm

She tells me that she can get anything she wants now because all she has to do is get a lawyer and I'll have nothing when she's finished with me.

Sounds like your wife watches too much Jerry Springer or soap operas.

I'd personally go to the police station, make a report of her friend holding "stolen property" i.e. YOUR property!

You didn't do anything wrong, immoral or illegal. What your wife did was all of those three combined though.

7inchlinguest 61M
35 posts
8/6/2005 1:46 pm

I just turned 50 yrs last July, I have never been married and have no children, and I never seem to hear or read anything that makes me regret my choices, quite to the contrary, makes me greatful. None the less I would recommend e-mailing a show called Handle on the Law, a syndicated radio talk show hosted by a lawyer named Bill Handle. Pose the question to him, he also might be able to hook you up with a good attorney if needed. Good Luck!

frogger1995 39F

8/6/2005 2:23 pm

If your state is a no-fault divorce state (most states are), then her claims will very likely mean nothing. It might be different when it comes to custody though, if you have kids. Try threatening an Invasion of Privacy suit, which will hold much more water than her claim...unless you actually do (or did) post it online.

Masseur_0 41M

8/6/2005 3:57 pm

wow, thanks everyone for the responses...I post bullshit rantings and no one notices but I pour out personal tragedies and everyone wants to put a thumb in the pie...Just kidding, thanks again for the replies, I do appreciate. We're not planning to go to court, we want to just part and move on, that's mutual. There's no custody issues because my daughter isn't mine biologically. Her father sends child support monthly faithfully even though he has never met his daughter and never wants to. I've been her father for 6 of her 9 years and want to be for the rest of my years. She's the only reason I stay in this state.

Thanks Die47, I do stay in her life and I do count my blessings.

And misbehavin, I'm already out, moved to the next town but still 5 min. away to tuck my dauther in every night. That was her demand in the seperation. i go over every night at 9:00, we brush our teeth, read in bed or talk about our day and then she gets tucked in...That's my daily time w/her

And 44DD you hit the nail. She watches way too much Springer and that new fake Dr. Phill...She wanted me to read one of his books so i would stop being an asshole.

Yea, 7inch, starting to enjoy my new freedom and getting back to mines. A good friend had a great way of making me look at things. He just said "Dude, you were just in a bad place for 5 years, that's all"...So life isn;t over

And Frogger....damn, thanks for the photo op. Oh and the legal advice too, that's what I meant...

Take care all and thanks again

Mccartney2003 38M
281 posts
8/7/2005 12:13 am

I am not for sure on the legal angle in your state but it is correct that if your state is a no fault divorce state then nothing like your diary will really matter. Though in my case my ex wife wrote her sexual exploits in her diary of how she slept around during out marriage and how she hated her own children and wanted to kill herself each and every day....
The judge (only in Texas) said more than likly it was a work of fiction from a creative mind. It held no value in court.
Though half the county personally knew from first had expierence that it was true... It did not matter. I wish you the best of luck. Work with her on the divorce. If anything your a real man for being in the childs life when her real father could care less.
That takes alot. Most people would not do that. You have a heart and soul my friend. Just know that personally. It does not matter what the loony you were married to says. Your the man most men should be like.

Masseur_0 41M

8/7/2005 9:45 am

Thanks bro. THe kind words do work...Gracias, sorry for your fiasco, I guess we all gotta get up and move on and heal and get back to who we are and who we want to be....

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