i wish there was lipstick stains on my shirt in stead of piss stains on my shoes  

MartinMartini 37M
126 posts
12/19/2005 10:01 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

i wish there was lipstick stains on my shirt in stead of piss stains on my shoes

if you know that quote you are amazing
i spent six years being sober and for the past year i fell apart and hit the drugs and booze rather fucking hard just to prove that it dosen't matter if you're sober or not and i know that the people i have met through my trial are more than people i have met
most of them i have known for tens years and just now got to know them
i had a girlfriend that i thought i would marry and in the wake of all this i could hurt her by being the one she missed more than anything and i know i took a road more traveled by most at this point and as i adventure into uncharted areas i know she will not be there
i am used to being pittied and i am used to hearing you had so much potiental and you let it all fade away
there something to be said for that but not now
the bruises that i have from the 6 day bender i went on and my friends joined for two of those days
it looks like i will be able to go to school yay!! for me
but it was never my choice and i utterly hate it for the bullshit that you have to be polished to make it in this fucking world or not to be told that you need to change

every night its more than just cigarettes and weed and beer its the lost of someone i once was


safereturns 47F

12/19/2005 10:35 am

That doesn't sound like light/social drinker to me.


rm_cockmerollme 45F
1223 posts
12/20/2005 1:01 am

I'm not sure what it is that you need. What do you really, really want? No, seriously...think about that. Forget about being sober..can you be happy? Can you be a fun person when things are not perfect? Do you want to go home? Do you want to run away and start over? Do you want to be someone else? Do you wish you could go back and fix things? Do you need new frinds? Do you want to lose the friends you have now? Do you want to sign bad songs loudly? Do you want to be a father someday? Do you remember what you had for breakfast yesterday? Do you hate people for doing it right?

LET'S GO METS!!!


MartinMartini 37M
131 posts
12/20/2005 3:57 pm

i know it is a little more than just social drinking or even light drinking
after all is said and done it has been a fucking experiecne that i never forget
(sorry for the spelling errors)


MartinMartini 37M
131 posts
12/20/2005 4:01 pm

    Quoting rm_cockmerollme:
    I'm not sure what it is that you need. What do you really, really want? No, seriously...think about that. Forget about being sober..can you be happy? Can you be a fun person when things are not perfect? Do you want to go home? Do you want to run away and start over? Do you want to be someone else? Do you wish you could go back and fix things? Do you need new frinds? Do you want to lose the friends you have now? Do you want to sign bad songs loudly? Do you want to be a father someday? Do you remember what you had for breakfast yesterday? Do you hate people for doing it right?
all these question you have posed are valid and well worth the time it will take to answer them
i am happier now
i think i am getting to that point
i never had a home here
no not really not anymore
never thats silly i love being me
no cause the moment all this happen everything changed
no i can't throw away the people who stood by me
no
i always sing bad songs and i sing loud and out of tune
not really sure about being a father i was always told by any women i spent time with that they think i would make a great father
i didn't eat breakfast i haven't in long time
hating someone for having their life together is childish i may be vocal about it


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