Hmmmm...a new case...  

MajorEasy 46M
3805 posts
5/12/2006 11:18 am
Hmmmm...a new case...


Met a mate for late drinks...he brought something up that is quite curious...

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it only leads to trouble, and seat wetting.....
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MajorEasy 46M
2693 posts
5/12/2006 11:31 am

We were talking about his new life in China...he moved there for the last four years and just came back to visit...

As usual...we got into his new relationship...this guy was married twice...once to a Taiwanese...and then to a Thai....then he dated a Filipina for three years...now he's thinking about marrying his Chinese gf....

He has one child with each woman...well...the China one is only pregnant...but I thought he's pushing the international thing a bit too far...

Now...the question I have is this...it must be hard to have a few children in one household...having them all over the place would be insane...

He tries to see each child once a month...but sometimes he can't...

I thought it might be best to talk to all his women...and arrange for the children to stay in one place...though I have no idea how it would work...

Does anyone have any ideas?? Would you be willing to put up with your partner's children with other people in your house??

. . . . . . . MajorEasy's Blog...
There is no use getting, into heavy petting
it only leads to trouble, and seat wetting.....
.


happyladychat 47F
3740 posts
5/12/2006 7:09 pm

NO WAY!

BTW, I think we shouldn't suggest any "solutions" to your friend. The women and kids had suffered enough in this lousy situation, don't put them further in a mess.

Make it your challenge.... turn me ON!!


Serenely_Yours 116
9198 posts
5/13/2006 12:52 am

I cannot empathise but sympathise all the kids and their mother.
So whats the point of having them together in a same household? Unless your friend can let them live happily, peacefully, unworryingly with all the mothers.
Its not a kingdom.
Its just bad planning.
( What is he thinking? Really? )
Honestly, I have come across some cases like these.
And frankly, I do not mean to be skeptical, it has never worked out.
( Im hoping to see one case that is gonna make a difference! )
And so far the situation is, not moving or gathering, just stay put where they are and the father just gotta do the visiting.
Just for your information, this is not a solution or a suggestion.

Take care Major! Hope your friend can decide how or what to do!

Im sorry if I sounded harsh here. I think you can blame it on my job nature.


٭ ˚ °◦○☻ Serenely Yours ☺○◦° ˚ ٭


rm_janeraped 40F
3772 posts
5/13/2006 1:51 am

I agree with Serene Ann. I think its better they don't live together. Actually cases like these are somewhat a dime a dozen in places like Australia, where I have family there - ie, 1 man who fathers a few kids from different women- the only difference between these cases and your (ie Major"s) friend's is that they all live pretty near each other. No one gets in each other's way, the dad often is only married/or common law with one of the mothers, and the rest are ok with it, most have moved their new partners, and the biological dad either sees them a few times a month or if more often once a week.
Everyone pretty much accepts the situation and the various women are often on good terms with each other. Sometimes even looking after the kids of the other women. No big deal for them. My sister's ex-husband's new baby often comes to her house too.

I think its also best not to move the mothers together. It's not as if it is an ancient Chinese household or even a traditionalist Mormon one.


MajorEasy 46M
2693 posts
5/13/2006 10:02 am

    Quoting happyladychat:
    NO WAY!

    BTW, I think we shouldn't suggest any "solutions" to your friend. The women and kids had suffered enough in this lousy situation, don't put them further in a mess.
Sweetie...why the women "suffered enough" leh???


Yeah, you're right though...it's his decision...

. . . . . . . MajorEasy's Blog...
There is no use getting, into heavy petting
it only leads to trouble, and seat wetting.....
.


MajorEasy 46M
2693 posts
5/13/2006 10:04 am

    Quoting Serenely_Yours:
    I cannot empathise but sympathise all the kids and their mother.
    So whats the point of having them together in a same household? Unless your friend can let them live happily, peacefully, unworryingly with all the mothers.
    Its not a kingdom.
    Its just bad planning.
    ( What is he thinking? Really? )
    Honestly, I have come across some cases like these.
    And frankly, I do not mean to be skeptical, it has never worked out.
    ( Im hoping to see one case that is gonna make a difference! )
    And so far the situation is, not moving or gathering, just stay put where they are and the father just gotta do the visiting.
    Just for your information, this is not a solution or a suggestion.

    Take care Major! Hope your friend can decide how or what to do!

    Im sorry if I sounded harsh here. I think you can blame it on my job nature.
Cheers Senrene...it's not going to work out...but it's just another example of how small the world is getting...


. . . . . . . MajorEasy's Blog...
There is no use getting, into heavy petting
it only leads to trouble, and seat wetting.....
.


MajorEasy 46M
2693 posts
5/13/2006 10:07 am

    Quoting Serenely_Yours:
    I cannot empathise but sympathise all the kids and their mother.
    So whats the point of having them together in a same household? Unless your friend can let them live happily, peacefully, unworryingly with all the mothers.
    Its not a kingdom.
    Its just bad planning.
    ( What is he thinking? Really? )
    Honestly, I have come across some cases like these.
    And frankly, I do not mean to be skeptical, it has never worked out.
    ( Im hoping to see one case that is gonna make a difference! )
    And so far the situation is, not moving or gathering, just stay put where they are and the father just gotta do the visiting.
    Just for your information, this is not a solution or a suggestion.

    Take care Major! Hope your friend can decide how or what to do!

    Im sorry if I sounded harsh here. I think you can blame it on my job nature.
Cheers Serene...it's not going to work out...but it's just another example of how small the world is getting...you have friends like that too?? Yeah...well...what can we say, right??


. . . . . . . MajorEasy's Blog...
There is no use getting, into heavy petting
it only leads to trouble, and seat wetting.....
.


MajorEasy 46M
2693 posts
5/13/2006 10:10 am

    Quoting rm_janeraped:
    I agree with Serene Ann. I think its better they don't live together. Actually cases like these are somewhat a dime a dozen in places like Australia, where I have family there - ie, 1 man who fathers a few kids from different women- the only difference between these cases and your (ie Major"s) friend's is that they all live pretty near each other. No one gets in each other's way, the dad often is only married/or common law with one of the mothers, and the rest are ok with it, most have moved their new partners, and the biological dad either sees them a few times a month or if more often once a week.
    Everyone pretty much accepts the situation and the various women are often on good terms with each other. Sometimes even looking after the kids of the other women. No big deal for them. My sister's ex-husband's new baby often comes to her house too.

    I think its also best not to move the mothers together. It's not as if it is an ancient Chinese household or even a traditionalist Mormon one.
Thanks jane...what you've described is what I was thinking of actually...I wasn't suggesting the mothers move in together too...he wouldn't want that...but I also believe the children should have their father around more often then just once in a long while...

It's easier if they are all in the same country though...


. . . . . . . MajorEasy's Blog...
There is no use getting, into heavy petting
it only leads to trouble, and seat wetting.....
.


MajorEasy 46M
2693 posts
5/13/2006 10:16 am

Hahaha...women...

I had a feeling that would be the respond...no worries...we seemed to have forgotten the fact that the poor man has children in 4 different countries...not easy for anyone to visit often...

Now...before you think it's all his fault...I'm not so sure it is...any breakup must be attributed to both parties...he's just a die-hard romantic and he still believes in getting married...(some people never learn... )

For obvious reasons, none of the women wish to 'loan' her child out to his house...but each still wants him to visit and help take care of the child...my suggestion was not for the long term...maybe during holidays or school breaks...they can all stay with him for a while...at the moment...the oldest is 9...but soon, all will be school-going, and they WILL wonder why they hardly see daddy at all...

I have no answer...at the end, I just gave him a pat on the back...it's something he has to solve himself...

Life....heh heh...*sigh*

. . . . . . . MajorEasy's Blog...
There is no use getting, into heavy petting
it only leads to trouble, and seat wetting.....
.


MajorEasy 46M
2693 posts
5/13/2006 3:58 pm

    Quoting MsBettyCocker:
    Have raised my husband's children from his first marriage and learned to get along with their mother for their sake (and sometimes had to take care of her, too). Sometimes she was in our home but most often not. It's not easy.

    ~Betty~
Hey sweetie..welcome back...been a long time...how're you doing??

Yes...but the fact that you allowed it means you understand how important it is to the father and the children....I'm just looking at it from that perspective...


. . . . . . . MajorEasy's Blog...
There is no use getting, into heavy petting
it only leads to trouble, and seat wetting.....
.


nottycara 36F

5/14/2006 8:59 am

LOL

cant help not laughing, its gonna sound so crude but.. what stupid women are those??

i dont get why some women go so far for a man who is not even brilliant .. as though tht is the only man in mother earth left. we know it so well. so if they r to suffer, they have it coming their ways. no need to pitty. they chose that path very well, now enjoy it. OK - make the best out of the situation then.


MajorEasy 46M
2693 posts
5/14/2006 11:07 am



Thanks for your input cara...always good to have some support...yes sweetie...it's not always the man's fault...

But sweetie...before you say he is not brilliant...may I present part of his credentials...he was formerly the V.P of Asia-Pacific with let's just say, a very large internet company...starts with G...so it's not Microsoft...now he's in China to set up (for the Govt, I think) a 'China silicon valley'...though he earns more in a month than I do in a decade...I'm impressed by his knowledge on the computing business more than anything else...quite the man...though rather dim with human-relations...hence, he comes to me (of all the freakos in the world...) for relationship advise...and his ex are all pretty high profile business women in computing...not sure about the latest one though...never heard of her...

Yes yes...it does not excuse his misfortune...but like I said...he's a silly man who never learns...with the amount of time he spends at work (and working from home...) he should not involve another person in his life...computers are his best friends...

Still, his children will fair better with a father instead of just status and money...methinks...

. . . . . . . MajorEasy's Blog...
There is no use getting, into heavy petting
it only leads to trouble, and seat wetting.....
.


MajorEasy 46M
2693 posts
5/14/2006 4:34 pm

Hahahaha...sweetie...maybe that's why everyone looks forward to being grandparents...all the fun, half the cost and none of the heartache...


I sometimes wonder....with children...how much is responsibility and how much is actual affection...yes..I know the love is always there...but there's always so much going on yeah??


. . . . . . . MajorEasy's Blog...
There is no use getting, into heavy petting
it only leads to trouble, and seat wetting.....
.


MajorEasy 46M
2693 posts
5/16/2006 2:06 pm

    Quoting MsBettyCocker:
    Ya know ... if anyone would have thought to "rent" kids before having them, just to see what all goes with it ... perhaps I should have done that with my own. Woulda helped pay for college AND perhaps instilled a bit of "planned parenthood." Now don't get me wrong, I love my kids GREATLY, but c'mon, every parent once in a while gets overwhelmed. Yeah, let someone take MY girls shopping for school clothes just once and I bet they'd have been returned quicker than originally planned.

    ~Betty~
Oh sweetie...did you get the email?? Many of my mates didn't get stuff I sent...damn it...have to change provider...again...

. . . . . . . MajorEasy's Blog...
There is no use getting, into heavy petting
it only leads to trouble, and seat wetting.....
.


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